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2006-10-25 07:33:53
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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Oh Sweetie!!! I wish I could give a big hug.What your describing is a very self absorbed,kniving,abusive man.I know your probably thinking ...abusive? He has never laid a finger on me?But there are several types of abuse out there and through personal experience emotional abuse is the worst.Bruises heal, but hateful words could last a lifetime.By your boyfriend not helping out with the money situation.He is essentially making it impossible for you to have a life outside work and home.And of course using to help finance the nights out he has with his buddies.His meaness I believe is a form of minipulation.By that I mean... He is probably using his anger as a means to justify himself.And as an added bonus he is making you feel less than human.By that I mean, he is starting to breakdown your walls of self respect till you feel you deserve whatever he throws at you.And trust me he has been successful thus far.As far as his friends telling you what he has been doing.I would belive them.Allthough I never suggest believeing second party information.It sounds like his friends have your best interest at heart and are taking a big risk in telling you what is really going on.I know your financial situation is barely keepng you afloat now.But if he is not really helping anyway financially.I would ask you to reconsider continuing a relationship with this man.It sounds as though you would do just fine without his financial support and maybe have a few extra dollars because you are not supporting him and his dead weight financially.I know you two have a 2 year old togather.So, please set him down and tell him what you told us.Unless of course your afraid he might hurt you then it maybe best for you to go. But if that is not the case then talk to him I know its going to cause the mother of all arguments and I have a feeling you and him have been running in circles over this matter for a long time.But at least you can walk away with a clear concious and say you tried sweetie.
As far as this new guy.I say... Go for it.I know about the horror stories people tell about internet dating.But it sounds like you know this guy pretty well.He sounds like he is a very caring individual with your best interest at heart.Along with him,your family, and your close friends... These people are going to be your greatest encouragers during this difficult time.And on a side note...Mt brother in law found his wife on the internet and they couldnt be happier.
I know leaving someone you love is hard.My husband just left me several weeks ago.And trust me its going to be difficult.The realazation of knowing that that person is not going to be there anymore is heartbreaking.And it will be one of the hardest things you will do in your life.I dont blame you for still loving your boyfriend.Love is unconditional and has no requirements even if there are abusive factors involved.You and this man have a history and memories.I know you dont want to hear this now.. but time really does heal wounds.Im learning that myself.But when you have time on your side and you look back.Then you will see with more clarity,what motivated you to leave in the first place.And you will be stronger for it.
Take your time with this new guy.He sounds understanding and will be greatful that you took the time to sort out yourself before you plunged into a relationship with him.Because only then he can get a 100 percent of you.
Good luck sweetheart.You have a good head on your shoulders and I know you can do it!! Look how strong you have been already.
2006-10-25 08:11:51
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answer #2
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answered by serena 2
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Whether you meet this man or another you need to leave your boyfriend. If he cheats on you once he always will. He does not respect you at all and sounds like a real bum. Ask yourself one question. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life being treated like this when you could have someone to treat you soooo much better? In my experience the only reason a man does not want to have sex more than once a week is that they are getting some elsewhere. It is a hard thing to do..leaving someone you love, but you will be better off for it. First loves are the hardest to get away from. This Internet guy sounds nice but be careful. Check him out as much as possible before meeting him. It is easy to lie to others over the Internet. Also beware of the rebound affect. Getting over someone else takes time and if you jump into another relationship if you haven't given yourself time to heal, you can end up making the same or even more mistakes.You have your child to think of as well. Do you want him to grow up and treat his girlfriends or wife as your man is treating you? Protect yourself and your baby first. Hope this helps you.
2006-10-25 07:45:22
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answer #3
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answered by Deana h 1
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Ok, I met my fiancee online, and I couldn't be happier. I am the biggest fan of happiness, and honey, You are not happy..If you are with your bf just because of your son, you need to get out. There is no love in this situation. I say leave, you can always set up some sort of visitation guidelines with him. Besides, if he is partying that much, he probably won't object to you leaving with the baby. As for the other guy, I can't say no no no, like I said, I met my man online and we are so in love. You really get to know the person well. I say leave, live on your own for a while, or move in with parents, don't rush into anything with the other guy, but do start a relationship with him. Good Luck
2006-10-25 07:36:48
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answer #4
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answered by Becca P 2
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Girl my sister was in the same situattion like you,
First, dump your boyfriend you don't need to be with a Loser and someone that doesn't treat you good regardless if you have a son with him your baby doesn't need an irresponsible father Come on girl if he has cheated on you once he will continue doing it why be with someone like that and has no respect for you leave him you will be better off, and you will never trust him it will always be in your mind once a cheatter always a cheatter leave him!!!
Make his a*s pay child support just like he doesn't touch his heart with you treats you bad now is your turn to turn your back on him and don't touch your heart he will then see what your worth and he will regret it but that's his lost!!!
About this New Guy if you both are falling for eachother you don't want to look bad so leave your present man and go try it out with this new one who cares of what the people say remember the only one that could and will judge you is God continue talking to him but like I said first leave your BF then start establishing the kind of relationship you want with this new guy remember respect and trust always comes first in a relationship, my sister did what I am telling you she left her BF met this new guy he was everything she was looking for they got married bought there house know they have a great life together 2-little girls, a great job, LOVE, health, support from eachother, respect, trust, and much more sometimes in life you just have to give yourself a chance and do as your heart tells you to!!!
And guess what her ex-man is a Loser regrets he ever lost her and he is even is jail!!!
Always remember no one knows what they have until they loose it!!! Then Regret they ever lost that special someone!!! And never knew how to appreciate them!!!
Sorry if I mispelled I was typing fast!!!
Good Luck and Give it a Try!!!
2006-10-25 08:04:00
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answer #5
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answered by Help? 3
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Regardless of what you decide about the new man you need to get away from your current bf. If what you say is true then he doesn't deserve you & your son DOES NOT need to be in that type of environment. If you do decide to meet this man make sure its in a public place during the day & let friends or a relative know where you will be going. There are just too many crazy people out there & you shouldn't take unnecessary chances.
2006-10-25 07:44:26
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answer #6
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answered by Txfroggy 3
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Hi Girlie, I feel you girl. No matter what I think you should leave your boyfriend. Even though your son is 2 he sees everything and I am pretty sure you don't want him to grow up like his dad. When I left me ex our son was 2 1/2 and he would see us fighting alot. He is 8 now. The years before he would try to hit me like his dad but now he respects me from all the disapline. I know ours is a little differrent but I know you would not want your son like him. As far as for that other guy.Becarefull.. If you meet him in person don't do it w/ your son. Until you know he is what he says then let him meet him after a while. Good luck. Let me know what happens. Bye
2006-10-25 07:44:41
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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First of all you should be very careful about meeting up with people you met on the Internet. He could be lying to you about what he looks like and who he is. He could have sent you a pic of someone else. That part aside, you bf deserves dumping regardless of whether or not you meet up with this other guy. I know you have your child to consider here but you also don't want your son to end up behaving like your bf. Ditch him and have this other guy meet you someplace that you choose. If he's willing to send you money and all that stuff I'm sure he'd be willing to meet you under your conditions. A girl can never be too careful.
2006-10-25 07:37:01
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answer #8
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answered by Phaylynn 5
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You're kind of in the wrong only because you are in a relationship, but yet, in another with someone else.
What you need to do, is get rid of your asshole boyfriend and continue talking to the other guy if you wish. I dont think I would go as far as telling you to meet him, only because I dont want to be the reason that you go meet him and then wind up dead cause he is some crazy serial killer. That's up to you, but I would definitely drop the current cheating, asshole of a boyfriend.
Not only is he mean to you, but think about your 2 year old kid. Yes, the kid is his too, but he obviously doesnt care enough about his kid to take care of the childs mother.
2006-10-25 07:36:12
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answer #9
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answered by Barbi 4
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Run and run fast. If faith says this new person is the person so be it. Don't stay together because of a child, it is not fair to the child. My ex left for someone else who was better, everything has worked out just fine, granted I wasn't jerk but knew the relationship wouldn't work. We both parted and have a well mannered little girl who is a straight A student and has no reprocussions of our mistakes. This happened when she was 1 1/2 and she is 12 now.
Go and meet this new guy------- nothing is holding you to this donor (I mean man). Think of your and your childs happiness and what is best for both you, because the bf isn't.
Its going to be hard but in the end things work out for a reason.
2006-10-25 07:41:07
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answer #10
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answered by jsnmlk 2
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It's so different when you actually meet them in person. When you are talking on the phone or even chatting online you can say anything you want and don't have to back it up with anything to prove it's the truth. When you meet in person you find out what the truth really is. Sometimes they are being honest, other times it's a sack of poop. I think you need to get out of the bad relationship first. Make it on your own and if you are still talking to your friend online then go to the next step of meeting him and maybe getting together.
2006-10-25 07:40:33
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answer #11
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answered by Silly ol Me 2
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