THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY
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>My tire was thumping.
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>I thought it was flat
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>When I looked at the tire...
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>I noticed your cat.
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>Sorry!
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> Heard your wife left you,
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>How upset you must be.
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>But don't fret about it...
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>She moved in with me.
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>Looking back over the years
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>that we've been together,
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>I can't help but wonder...
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>"What the hell was I thinking?"
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>Congratulations on your wedding day!
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>Too bad no one likes your husband.
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>How could two people as beautiful as you
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>Have such an ugly baby?
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>I've always wanted to have
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>someone to hold,
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>someone to love.
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>After having met you ..
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>I've changed my mind.
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>----------------------------------------------------------
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>Imust admit, you brought Religion into my life.
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>I never believed in Hell until I met you.
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>As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
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>That you're not here to ruin it for me.
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>Congratulations on your promotion.
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>Before you go..
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>Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
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>You'll probably need it again.
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>********************************************************************************
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>Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
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>(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)
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>H appy birthday! You look great for your age.
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>Almost Lifelike!
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>When we were together,
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>you always said you'd die for me.
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>Now that we've broken up,
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>I think it's time you kept your promise.
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>We have been friends for a very long time .
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>let's say we stop?
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>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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>I'm so miserable without you
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>it's almost like you're here.
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>=====================================================
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>Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
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>Did you ever find out who the father was?
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>%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
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>Your friends and I wanted to do
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>something special for your birthday.
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>So we're having you put to sleep.
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>))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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>So your daughter's a hooker,
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>and it spoiled your day.
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>Look at the bright side,
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>it's really good pay.
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>
2006-10-25 06:30:28 · 25 answers · asked by Alicat 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Dear mum and Dad,
Please don't scream or shout
But this card is to tell you
That i'm coming out.
Thank you for sharing in our wedding day.
Thanks too for the gifts, they are now on Ebay.
That one night was special.
The best of my life.
But now you are back
with the kids and your wife.
Tomorrow you'll wake up,
next to a horses head.
And if you look in the kitchen.
Your Bunny is dead.
With sympathy
On your wedding day.
Congratulations on your new home.
See you in five to ten!
Just a card from me to you.
I Have herpes and now you do too.
2006-10-25 09:19:52 · answer #1 · answered by mAdhAttEr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Prey, what be this I espy A wee celeb-lingering on breeze-waft of smoky sky? Or once - heart - throb in whipped winds` downy sky? Nay! - `Tis evening in gale`s faecetious scry! Methinks this perez-grin a - shuns the mild of day Lest or not that is pecked, and mom goose doo cry! sure, that pen grins ....mightier and larger recogniseably nicely-feather-dusted, than the clawed. Edit:: *Heck, if I had not been naughty and had a wide tiramisu AND a rose-water cheesecake in 3 days even as my glucose-count number`s extreme, i'd were enable orf answering?*
2016-12-05 05:30:11 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They're great fun. What about one for the Avid Merrion's out there:
You're such a lovely sister,
To have had for all my life,
Now speaking as your brother,
Will you be my wife?
2006-10-25 06:48:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I'd say they are naughty. Well put together there.
2006-10-25 06:38:05 · answer #4 · answered by UVRay 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love them all. I think you are on to something.
It reminds me of the mothers day card that asda sold for 10p. The verse inside said 'because you're worth it' (it's true!!)
2006-10-25 06:36:24 · answer #5 · answered by Ali 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so funny, I think you should write verses in cards for a living, I am still laughing at them.
2006-10-25 06:35:16 · answer #6 · answered by mams brown eyed gel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And I bet most of these would sell - especially the Happy Birthday Uncle Dad!!
2006-10-25 06:33:23 · answer #7 · answered by icddppl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Since this is reality, I think hallmark should make cards like these
2006-10-25 06:34:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol now why dont card say that life would be so much easier. with message like that lol
2006-10-25 07:11:58 · answer #9 · answered by FlossyQ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMg...that is the funniest damn thing i have seen all damn week! lol Im gonna have to forward this in my office...i like the one about dying for me...im so sending that to my ex! lol
2006-10-25 06:37:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋