My 14 year old got mad at me because I told her no and has moved in with her father. She has a boyfriend and wanted him to come over I told her we had plans and he couldn't. She called me selfish and it was all about me then told me she was going to live with her dad. It hurts but I don't want to cry in front of her or give in so she will come home. What is the right thing to do?
2006-10-25 06:22:43 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you made a mistake, you need to own up to it and apologize to your daughter. How in the name of all that's good would a parent be better able to teach a child if she's living in a different household?
2006-10-25 06:50:07 · answer #1 · answered by norcalirish 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Having gone though something similar when my daughters were in their teens I can only say that hindsight is always 20-20! In other words, had I to do it all over again I would have told my daughter that she was not running the household. You were not being selfish, you are the MOM -not HER. Chances are she will not last long at her Dad's house -trust me! When she comes back, get into some family counseling with her, and get the rules established NOW, not ask the problems come up. Make sure she understands. In the meantime, rent the dvd Thirteen, and see what you don't want to happen.
2006-10-25 13:35:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
1. talk to her dad so you have a united front. If she has moved in with her father, what will happen shen she gets mad at him. Is this just a coolong off period or forever. What does the custody agreement say?
2. It does sopund like she is really testing the boundries and pushing your buttons. There are times to stay firm and times to flex. If she comes back, look for ways to compromise ie it's this or this, which would you prefer.
3. How serious is this boyfriend, seems pretty serious if she would choose the relationship with him over you. What does dad say?
2006-10-25 13:44:03 · answer #3 · answered by sev1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Same thing happened to me. I did not want my daughter to go live with her. No matter what I said to her she thought the grass was greener on the other side. The prob was he was in a different state. Well she did move and 7 months later at 17 she was kicked out of his house. They do not understand why right now but I know they understand when they are older as she can see her ways and has admitted that we were right in the way we were guiding her. Stick to what you are doing she will come about in the future
2006-10-25 13:40:55 · answer #4 · answered by lpdecca 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing if you didn't call her on it should would always threaten to go and you can't stop a 14 year old in most states. If the grass isn't greener and she wants to come back set the ground rules. Make sure she is not allowed to go back and forth because she is mad.
2006-10-25 14:14:33 · answer #5 · answered by dixiedarling 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing by saying no. As long as her dad is taking care of her and making sure she is going to school and clothing and feeding her, there is not much more you can do. She is at the age that she wants to go with the parent who is going to give in toher. For one, she is too young to have a boyfriend and she needs to respect your decision. These teenagers think they have all the answers. Good Luck.
2006-10-25 13:50:03 · answer #6 · answered by Marie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's 14! Put your foot down! What sort of custody arrangement do you have? Are you the domicle parent? If yes, make her come home. She is playing the 2 sided fence manipulation game to get what she wants. Stop it. It is unhealthy and again you are the adult - not her.
I know when I ws 14, I didn't adore my dad, because he did his job as a parent. I ALWAYS wanted to go live with my mother. I didn't understand it then but I do know. I am almost 21 and have 2 kids of my own.
Straighten that girl out before she gets worse!
2006-10-25 13:29:30 · answer #7 · answered by Amber 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hey this is age when the hormones are all haywire. I am sure you were a rebel when you were 14! Its the hormaones talkin most of the times.
And yea,14 is too young to have a boyfriend so keep a tight watch on your daughter.
Just hang in there. she will realise your worth and come back to you. And you were right not to give in!
2006-10-25 13:35:26 · answer #8 · answered by freshlimesoda 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stick to your guns! you didn't do anything that would cause harm to her did you?? Teenagers will be teenagers,especially in divorced situatuions. Kids will sometimes use the parents because they know their parents are suffering from the "divorce guilt". Let her know that you love her and that you are always there for her, but there are rules in your house and they are for her own good. Let her know she can't give up when things get hard. You don't want her to hate you, but also keep in my mind what will help her in the long run.
2006-10-25 13:34:05 · answer #9 · answered by tropicgirl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you must be sure that her father isn't going to let her go do the things you stop her from doing b/c that is not healthy. you must be sure you and her father are on the same page. there CANNOT be 2 sets of rules otherwise why would she ever come back? that is the real question for you to think about.
2006-10-25 13:30:48 · answer #10 · answered by charlie21205 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋