I'm 41 with a 4 year old son. My wife passed away last February. I really don't even want to date right now, but I'm thinking of my son. Doesn't he need some sort of mother figure? I'm not going to be around forever, and neither are his grandmothers, the only females in his life right now. So, my question is, should I try to find true love again? Or, should I try to find a woman that I would trust to help raise my son and nothing else? Love would be nice, but I'm being realistic. I honestly believe that there was only one woman for me, and she's gone now.
2006-10-25 06:12:12 · 6 answers · asked by drummer4justus 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are still grieving the loss of your wife, and that is okay. Don't rush in and give your son a "new mommy" - he needs to mourn as well. You may have to go out of your way to surround him with a few positive females, but it will be worth it.
There is no woman who is worthy of parenting your son, that will date you seriously enough to consider marriage until your heart is in it. Give yourself and your son plenty of time. If the right lady comes along, maybe you'll be ready to give love another try.
2006-10-25 06:20:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh Boy! I think You should only get married if your in love that would only be fair to everyone, plus being w/someone you dont love would be a bad example to your son. I believe your four year old son is hurting a lot, My 3 yr old duaghter has been taken away from my by her father and I think its devistating I've told him several times it would be different if I had past away but I havnt but looking at your situation your being thoughtful and I can understand it I wish he was a real man like you but noone can replace his mother or the bond they had so I wouldnt try to repla ce it but if it happens on its own for love then thats a different story and you deal w/it when it comes, Good Luck!
2006-10-25 13:25:39 · answer #2 · answered by KIMBUR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should find a woman that could raise your son. Maybe one day you will love her for what she has done for you and your son. But looking for true love isn't the right choice for right now I think. I really think if you really loved your wife, you would never be able to love anyone else that much, especially because you have a child from her.
Anyways i think your wife would be glad if she could see, you want your child be happy.
2006-10-25 13:24:35 · answer #3 · answered by ALONE_GIRL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son does not need a fill in and from what you typed you don't either. You need to raise your son and remember that he will always have a mother. His mother will always watch over him. You will know when the time is right. Follow your heart.
2006-10-25 13:19:03 · answer #4 · answered by trueangel121301 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't want to present a false relationship to your son. How he perceives the new 'love' will be critical to his development. If you don't love the new wife, he'll know it. Some men develop platonic female relationships that can help raise the child. I suggest you coast for a while, get together with someone that interests you, and see if love devlopes. But be true to yourself first, don't forget.
2006-10-25 13:18:12 · answer #5 · answered by Arnold M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe for your sons sake just sumone u can get along with u might eventually fall in luv with her
2006-10-25 13:15:45 · answer #6 · answered by ali 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋