My daughter hates me?

Question

My daughter who is 16 doesnt talk to me, she does not hug me, its only when she wants to be dropped somewhere or picked up or if she wants something which her mother is not giving her that she comes to me. . I tried to talk to her but she doesnt want to talk to me.
What should I do?
she is my lil princess and I love her very much and I feel very hurt.

I'm the father

Answer 1

aren't all teenagers like that? I know I was...she'll grow out of it don't worry. In the meantime if the only time she speaks to you is when she wants a lift somewhere, make her walk or get the bus every now and then!

Answer 2

Seems she is more bent on maintaining a strict business relationship with you. What is the reason for this kind of behaviour? Have you thought seriously? In case you did think and failed to find an answer, did you make a sincere effort to know from her what the problem is? I think the answer to both these questions is 'no'. When a child tries to avoid, to maintain a distance with either or both parents, it isn't considered normal.
Such behaviour from a child could come due to various reasons. Maybe you have been unduly harsh on her on one or more occassions which has hurt her a lot. Maybe you try to find fault with everything she does (sort of nagging), for which she feels annoyed and thinks it is better to avoid you. Maybe you made unkind fun at some deficiency on her part, for which she is ashamed. Maybe she saw you doing something, which she least expected from you and hence she is shocked. Maybe it was something else altogether. Whatever it is, you have to sit down and think about the probable reason.
Your daughter enjoys a perfectly normal relationship with her mother. So your wife should take her into confidence and ask her what her problem is with you.
When her mother denies something, she comes to you to get it. So everything is not lost. You should use these opportunities to settle the problem. When she asks you for something, be extra sweet to her. Give her a little more than what she wants because you have to break down the barrier. When you are with her or talking to her, don't wear a frown on your face. Show a light hearted and if possible humorous attitude. Many children of her age tend to get into a shell when they are hurt. They have to be coaxed out of it. Just try these out. Add something of your own. I think it will work.

Answer 3

Hmmm, so you are her father.
A 16 years old girl is neither a child nor an adult. She is growing with many confusions and questions of her own.Let the 'child' inside her grow and see the world through her own eyes and mind. She doesnt hate you or her mother. Remeber each human being is an 'individual', who needs her space to grow. She has not stopped loving you. Rather become her 'friend' with whom she opens up, dont always remind her that you are her 'parent' and you love her very much. Every parent love their children, the only thing is try to give her 'independence' of growing up, inculcate values and make her grow into a good human being.Too much possession gives a feeling of suffocation.

Answer 4

This happens between most fathers and daughters at about her age. She's going through a phase that all girls go through, I know my father and I did! Nothing you can say or do is going to be right. I know when I was that age I got really hateful with my dad because it seemed he only wanted to talk to me if he was going to ask me to do something or ask me if I did something I was supposed to do. Try simple things like making sure you're asking her how she's doing or how her day was and delaying the inevitable launch of is your homework done? Can you do the dishes tonight? Ask her to go to lunch with you or take her shopping. You're going to have to find some new common ground with her and its going to have to be on her turf. Good luck and just be aware that there might not be anything you can do to change this. But it will wear off in time.

Answer 5

It is a very difficult phase in the father- daughter relationship. What ever you say now will only get her disapproval and be recieved with bitter acrimony. Wait , painful it may be though. Things will change in a few years, may be in few months if you are lucky. Try to look for her friends and their backgorund. They influence a lot, in both ways positive and negative. If you find they have been a bad influence, try to reach this message to your beloved daughter not directly, through someone whom she revers or loves or listens to. It is only a temporary phase, so continue to shower her your love and affection if required from a distance. She will realise her folly. All the Best.

Answer 6

She hates you because you raised her to be that way. The fact that you still dote on her is why she doesn't stop.

When she asks for something, tell her NO - ask her to give you a hug first and then you'll think about it. If she refuses, fine - she's on her own. If she asks for a ride, tell her to go get a job and buy a car...or, she can offer to do some chores in EXCHANGE for a ride. If she declines, fine - no ride.

Simply trade affection for what she's asking for - and tell her that FAKING AFFECTION DOESN'T COUNT. She'll either warm up to you by brute force or become totally self-sufficient - either result will make your life as a parent a bit easier.

As far as being 'hurt'...that's what she wants - don't let her win by giving in; YOU are the parent, not her.

If anything, by the time she's 25, she might come back around and you can give her grief about it then.

Answer 7

What your daughter is doing is very typical for 16 year olds. She wants to express her independence, but lacks the maturity to know how to do it. I don't think there is much to do, except tell her you love her and always will no matter what, and that when she does need you, you will always be there for her. She may relate to stories of you as a teen. Did you and your mom ALWAYS get along? Try to find some common disagreements (wardrobe, choice of friends) that always cause a fight and try to rationally explain your concerns, whether or not you think she will understand, and really listen to her tell you why she does things. This is a really common relationship struggle, and with time, you will both weather the storm.

Answer 8

Your daughter is also going through hormone hell like every other teen. It will run its course, but in the meantime. . . . sounds like you really love your daugher and your are feeling very hurt. She is messing with you big time and she's getting a reaction out of you too. Tell your little princess to start acting like a living, breathing human being instead of a zombie, and you start acting like a father instead of being manipulated. You might also talk to a family counselor, too.

Answer 9

It appears from your question that you are putting your daughter at the receiving end and you being at the giving end. Make It other way round.

You are a father and your daughter is a part of yourself… she is right in front of you.

It is you, who has to take the first step followed by booster steps and you will find that she emerges as your little princess.

You have not written what is the structure and environment of your family. Without that, it is not advisable to make comments.

Answer 10

Well I'm sorry to hear that. Don't give her the choice of talking to you maker her. She goes to you when her mother doesn't give her what she wants cause she knows you will. Your easy. I'm sure this causes lots of fights between you and the mother! She is a teenager and I'm sure you remember those days! Its hard but you have to stay in contact with her to keep her on the right path. Good luck!