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jokes?
or comic websites?
if so ,tell me
your friend
FETCH!

2006-10-25 05:45:36 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

5 answers

check out dilbert

2006-10-25 05:53:25 · answer #1 · answered by leilis4 4 · 0 0

How about this.........

Loving husband, Ed, was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad at him and she told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from zero to 200 in six seconds. And it better be there!" The next morning, Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough, there was a small box gift wrapped in the middle of the driveway.Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral services for Ed have been scheduled for Friday.

or this one........

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, and then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign. Oh and only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
Only in Britain ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain ... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain ... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control Scalextric cars.
and finally.........
In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.
IF YOUR'E PROUD TO BE BRITISH SEND THIS ON!!!!!!


Any good???xxx

2006-10-25 15:11:56 · answer #2 · answered by stiflersmom29 3 · 0 0

i just visited a website that said jokes2000.com

2006-10-25 13:21:24 · answer #3 · answered by Kim 3 · 0 0

have a go at this one, hours of light entertainment

http://www.randomjoke.com/topic/dirty.php?96032

2006-10-25 13:48:36 · answer #4 · answered by vanburger 2 · 0 0

Yahoo search will help you !!!!

2006-10-25 12:57:38 · answer #5 · answered by Tickler 5 · 0 0

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