Okay guys i need your feed back! My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. I know my guy watches porn i dont have a major problem with that. First i stumbled on it by accident then one time I looked into his history on his internet. I know bad of me, but what can you do. I thought I would act out some of the things for him. Last night i decided to give him a striptease and lapdance, I put the music on, and came into the room, wearing some sexy under garmets. I started dancing, then he says "So you don't want to go to Perkins?" I was surprised that he said that while i was trying to be sexy for him. This was the first time I have done that for him, i didn't think thats a normal response. But then after i come back in the room hes all mad at me, and said he was just joking. I couldn't tell that he was joking. Was I wrong to get mad? Does he find me sexy? Or just the videos? What can I do to make im want to watch me if Im willing to do what some of the videos do for him?
2006-10-25 05:19:49 · 23 answers · asked by WoWzIe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow, I would give anything for my girl to do that for me! he better realize how lucky he is soon girl!
2006-10-25 05:22:17 · answer #1 · answered by brkeng 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably just has some insecurity and inadequacy issues. Men like that are more turned on by objectifying women (reducing them to a level that is more comfortable to deal with). Think about it. A one-dimensional image is much less intimidating than a real woman. If he is insecure, he might worry about disappointing you, a real woman. Maybe he just doesn't feel man enough to "do it for you". The fact that he said something so callous and sarcastic tells me he was uncomfortable with the situation (making it all about him) and he was attempting to diffuse the discomfort. He is also probably a little ashamed about his porn addiction.
Whatever the case, his porn addiction is causing you to doubt yourself, and is ruining your sex life. Since those are the facts, then you should takes steps to stand up for yourself. Porn is ok if it benefits both partners, but when one turns away from another and toward porn, then it becomes a problem. He should be either watching it with you, or not at all.
Dr. Laura Berman's Passion Files has links to female-friendly porn that does not objectify women, and is an erotic marital aid. Go to www.drlaurabermanspassionfiles.com
2006-10-25 05:35:16 · answer #2 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better than or less than has got nothing to do with you personally. For men, sadly, the fun is in the variety of available ladies. Porn permits the guy's mind to wander and fantisize. This is one of the reasons for infidelity. Not because you can't give what he may be looking for but rather a matter of biology. Men are naturally conquerers. As with all mammals, the instinct to procreate is uncontrolable. Society ,however, has imposed upon man the rules of the game. That doesn't give him an excuse to play around. It's all natural. Sorry
2006-10-25 05:30:13 · answer #3 · answered by Jayme C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, he shouldn't be "mad".
Maybe he could tease you and say "I was just joking, hon, put those on again" and hug you...but be angry with you... that is just too selfish.
3 years in a relationship, first time dressing up sexy for him, and that response...I would get really dissapointed, and leave the house at that point.
U did nothing wrong girl.
He should have been really thankful that moment. And he didn't.
So there is no point for him to get angry, or make any kind of excuse at all.
2006-10-25 05:23:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
watching porn is a way that a guy fulfills his fantasies.. clearly you are not his "fantasy" since you have been together for 3 yrs. not that he does not desire you in a way that you want to be desired, he respects you and believe me that is a good thing. of course he wants you to be sexy for him but not in a porn type of way. His comment (you want to go to Perkins?) only shows that he was very uncomfortable with you being all "sexy" (other word "slutty") for him. your man wants you to be his girlfriend.. not his HO.... dont be too hard on yourself.. although i understand that you felt "rejected"... but it would have been good if you asked him if he wanted that (striptease and lap dance), you know? in passing... i'll give you an example, my husband (now) has some porn but he would never watch it with me... never... but dont get me wrong, we do some naughty ;) stuff too... and this happened even before we were married... my point??? porn was his fantasy (like every normal male) BUT I WAS HIS REALITY!!! now isnt that nice to know???
2006-10-25 05:29:41 · answer #5 · answered by just_bebe 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Buy a camera.....he was pro ably mad because you stopped, Besides it is all in the tone of his voice. Maybe he was happy about you not wanted to go out. Is he still having sex with you? if so then yes he does find you sexy unless he is closing his eyes then he is thinking about someone else in a video. Watch the videos he has it will tell you what he likes then do what they do.
2006-10-25 05:24:36 · answer #6 · answered by brandon3451 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its seems to me that men watch porn just for the difference from their relationships...all men may like to watch it, but would never date someone that was actually a porn star b/c they are all trash...im not saying that your strip tease was out of line at all...its good to go to the extreme to try to excite your man. I can tell you from experience im with my boy friend for 4 years plus now,,,and i have done everything you can think of to heat things up....and i just dont get it... i tried the whole strip tease thing and it just made me feel uncomfortable like i was trying to be something i wasnt....i dont think you should give up on that, cuz that is sexy maybe he just made a joke at the wrong time...he didnt see how much you were trying to go out of your way for him....but im sure he finds you sexy...just keep tryin to let him notice your efforts....i had some obstacles with porn with my man, i know men all watch it...i find it degrading to women and it makes me feel less important to him when he goes behind my back to watch it....so we made our own,,,,,HE CAN WATCH THAT AS MUCH AS HE'D LIKE TOO....but keep your head up sweetie...and make him notice you for something better/sexier than those bimbos on the screen!!!!
2006-10-25 05:27:30 · answer #7 · answered by Life....it blows! 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be clear with him and tell him what you want. I would suggest you tell him that he has two days a month to surf porn and thats it. And you want two days a month to do the same. If he cant agree to that, seek counseling. Porn all the time will ruin your relationship.
2006-10-25 05:23:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i would have taken it as a joke. He probably saw you were a little nervous trying to be sexy in a different way and wanted to loosen you up a bit, don't worry if he wasn't into you he wouldn't have been mad when you came back in jeans and a t-shirt
2006-10-25 05:22:22 · answer #9 · answered by Beeper 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Most men are pigs, always have been and always will be. They like the visual stimulation that porn provides to them. You gave it a shot and he acted stupid, no big deal. Wait for him to be in the mood to try this again, maybe then you will get a rise out of him.
2006-10-25 05:26:35 · answer #10 · answered by DaRkViXeN 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, first off. If he seems more interested in videos than an actual person, he's crazy. Because a nice lookin lady that'll put on a show for you is much better than your hand and some kleenex's........
2006-10-25 05:23:29 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋