My bf is hinting me if I'm seeing another person...?

Question

When I say I'm going to meet a friend in where ever, he hints something like "Oh, so you're meeting your hometown bf tomorrow" or "How many guys are waiting for you back in Japan?" or anything that sounds like I'm seeing someone else at the same time... I never had a bf who does that. He sounds like he's joking most of the time, but he's doing this everytime I say that I'm seeing a friend...
I said I get confused cuz he saying that will make me feel like he's seeing other girls too, which I never questioned at all.
Why is he doing this? He doesn't trust me?
I'm a honest girl who never cheated in anybody, and never had that idea in my life.

when I told him I'm confused, he said he things it's funny... would guys joke to say such things to your gf...? I

Answer 1

There are a variety of things that may be causing him to be saying such things to you, but it is hard to pinpoint the exact cause of the problem. I'm sure you will know which one of the following it is:


1.Your boyfriend may be feeling very insecure lately and might be paranoid of losing you. He may be worried that when you go out, because you are such a lively and vibrant person, that you may attract some one so much better than him and then you may go off with them and dump him. If this is the case then you need to make sure your boyfriend realises that you would never do such a thing to hurt him as you are not that type of person. You never have cheated. You never will cheat. And you can be trusted.


2. Could there be the possibility that your boyfriend might have cheated or be cheating on you? It is known that sometimes, people who cheat try to turn the negative attention on to their partners so that they don't notice what is going on behind their back. Your boyfriend may get worried that he'll be figured out and so is using you as a target for this 'fear' and is trying to take your mind off the idea of him cheating.


3. Your boyfriend could be trying to control you and the way you live your life. Do not allow this to happen. If he makes the same comments and hints every time you try to go out and enjoy yourself like a girl should with her friends, he is trying to make you feel bad for going out and having a good time. He is trying to make you think 'One minute, going out makes my boyfriend feel sad, maybe I should stay with him and spend all day with him'. This is not on and should not happen - otherwise, it is a hard cycle to escape.


In all cases, let your boyfriend know where you stand. You are independent and are not joined at the hip. Explain you care for him and enjoy his company but you also have a life that you have to live and will not tolerate his sarcastic comments every time you innocently want to have a day out with your friends. Let him know that if he doesn't change this negative attitude (and don't you dare think that you have done something wrong anytime) then warn him that that is not what you asked for in a relationship - you asked for fun and happiness - not paranoia and questions all the time. let him know that you are out of there if he doesn't change because you will not be treated like you have done something wrong when you clearly haven't.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 2

Well, thank god that he isnt going psycho like most jealous boyfriends would do by now. But at the same time he prolly does worry about what may happen when youre away. I wouldnt say its about not trusting; if i had an attractive girlfriend id be worried i might lose her regardless of how much i trust her.

Maybe he's a nice guy that is protective cause he doesnt have girls come his way much ? You know, the shy ones.

Answer 3

Oh dear

Well i think the time has come for you to say to him that although he finds himself terribly amusing that his little jokes are really quite upsetting to you. little comments liek this may not seem like much to him but I can see that you feel they are the tip of the iceberg and that he may not fully trust you. Perhaps you feel he uses jokes to hide this fear.

Tell him that he may find it terribly funny but these little digs are beginning to make you feel sad and that you feel that it reflects a lack of trust for you when you have done nothing to deserve this. Ask him to stop it, if he loves you then he will stop because if this is the case he would certainly not want to be responsible for causing you any sadness. You have not given him any reason not to trust you, you should tell him that if he feels a lack of trust then he has no reason to at all.

In seriousness tell him that you are an honourable person and would not think of cheating, say that although he thinks he's being light hearted you feel that these little jokes cast aspersions on your loyalty and make you feel bad about yourself sometimes.

he probably trusts you, but men are rediculous creatures sometimes and even the best of them can be really quite silly now and then. I think you don't have a lot to worry about here. His jokes may seem very funny to himself but you must let him know that they cause you to feel bad. If you do this, he will probably stop them and find something else to amuse himself with.

good luck to you

S
x

Answer 4

I sometimes joke like that with my wife. Except lately, I tell her she's seeing the other man, meaning our son. She'll say something like, "We're going to the park today," and I'll say something like, "Oh, so you're taking the other man to the park, eh?" It's all in good fun, and just meant to be an expression that I want to keep her, and that I trust her, that I know she COULD be going to do whatever she wanted, and I'd have no way to know if she did something else, but that I really do trust her and am not really worried about it.

Answer 5

a very wise man once said to me-the worst offender yells the loudest. he was right-my bf always was yelling about how I talked to other guys, or about what i was wearing, or how I probably had another bf-I did not. Turns out he was the one with an other-2 of them, actually.

OR your bf is so insecure and controlling, that this is how he is forcing you to proclaim your love and devotion to him.

Either way-he has bad boyfriend traits and you should step back and take a good look at your situation. You are trustworthy and kind and deserve a bf who appreciates that and can return that.

Answer 6

He sounds very immature,and although you have complete trust in him,he perhaps on the other hand has not had such faith in humans before and this may all be new to him.Just reassure him and tell him how much you love him, and would never betray his trust in you, Good Luck.

Answer 7

He might just be insecure about your relationship, or maybe just insecure about himself. Reassure him that he's the only one for you, and leave it at that. Because to be honest, I think the more you try to prove yourself, the more likely he will be to continue this type of behavior.

Remind him that you've been nothing but trustworthy, and that he's got no reason to question you. If he keeps it up, you could always turn the tables and ask if he's feeling guilty about something.

Answer 8

Your question is difficult to decipher....maybe too much text messaging instead of using actual english. But...to answer your question....it does sound like that your boyfriend does not trust you and is overly jealous. If he refuses to see your point of view, you may want to considering trading him in. LOL It's also possible that he is the one that has something to hide...and is projecting that on you.

Answer 9

Speaking as a man, my advice is to walk away now. If he is hinting at it then it is crossing his mind a lot. Simple. He is obviously:
(i) Neurotic
(ii) Not to be trusted
(iii) Capable of anything
Walk now and find yourself someone who isn't such a moron.

Answer 10

he is insecure in the relationship. he might be hiding the fact that he wants to see other girls. speaking from experience when ur acussed of it the other person is usually guilty themselves. just know who u r and where u r in the relationship and asked him outright if he is wanting to see other girls and using those statements to cover his own feelings up. by the way i am 31 and been through a lot dealing with overjealous men.