In bed he always only cares about himself, I really love him but I cant carry on being so frustrated. He knows how irritated I get with this, he is such a good guy I really wanna make this work.
Please help me
2006-10-25 05:06:57 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How old is your boyfriend? It's just possible that he's unsure of what to do. A lot of young guys don't realize that it takes more than just intercourse to make a woman happy. Intercourse in and of itself is not a big deal to me, but boy, when my husband gets going with other things, he can certainly bring a smile to my face. And that makes me want to give him even more, which makes him very happy. Sex should be about give and take, and you should never do anything that you're not comfortable with, and your boyfriend needs to respect that. Show him what you want, when you want it. If he cares about you, then he will do it. You never know, he might just get extremely turned on when you tell him what you want. Take his hand, put it where you want him to touch you, and let him know how good that it makes you feel. A good man, a real man, can never resist that. If he's not willing to give back, then he's not worth your time and effort, and doesn't deserve the pleasure of being with you.
2006-10-25 05:13:05 · answer #1 · answered by Shayna 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, I have the same problem!
I'll tell you what works for me SOMETIMES.
Try being the one on top. You control the pace and the rhythm to please yourself. Don't worry about him cause no matter what you do, he'll enjoy it. If you feel him about to come, then stop or slow down! Wait a few seconds,then go again.
I know that you probably want HIM to take his time and give you the attention you crave for, but guys just don't seem to understand. Even if you tell him straight up! But talk to him, tell him what you NEED. If talking to him doesn't work, then you may need to either settle for what you have, or move on. It's your call.
I can totally relate to how you feel though. I don't want to leave him cause I DO love him so much. If it weren't for this sex problem, he'd be perfect! But I don't know how much more of it I can take, having problems in bed REALLY hurts the whole relationship. If you need to talk feel free to contact me, we seem to have the same problem so maybe we can help each other out!
Good luck!
2006-10-25 12:18:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, he's got alot of bad habits that have probably been taught to him from childhood.....from the school of "How to Please Yourself". It's really a matter of proper sexual education. The problem is that when you approach a guy with having to take some kind of sexual education class, they get defensive, and take it as a threat to their manhood. Sexual Education isn't just about techniques.....it also involves understanding what it is to want to satisfy your partner, and why it is an act of sharing, caring, tenderness, and sensuality. I hope you can find a way to open his eyes to seek the help he needs in that aspect. Don't approach him accusingly....he'll only react defensively, and close up to any real progess. It's not an easy situation to deal with, but I always think that you CAN teach old dogs new tricks.....if the dog is willing to learn. If not.....then the choice is yours. A totally unfufilling sex life for you.....or breaking free and finding what you really need. Believe me....you're not being selfish, you deserve to have the same enjoyment sexually speaking. I hope it works out!
Best of Luck!
2006-10-25 12:17:08 · answer #3 · answered by Ralph 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you told him that you are frustrated in bed? A lot of times women and men will "hint" stuff to their partners that they want more attention, but they still never get what they want. Approach him about it and make it sound like it is something for him. Like, say something like, "do you know what really turns me on, when you _______."
2006-10-25 12:10:17 · answer #4 · answered by flyboop_2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to not only tell him what you want, but how you want it. You cant make it in a way that he feels threatened or his ego is bruised. Try making cards with the things you like and do the same with the things he likes, kind of like coupons and present them to each other. This way you get what you want and you guys are able to have fun instead of fighting over it.
2006-10-25 12:09:12 · answer #5 · answered by love 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
start taking care of yourself and get yourself a rabbit!!! Most guys feel inadequate if you start masturbating on your own. If he get mad tell him he's selfish and you need to be to be taken care of and if he can't you'll do it yourself. It doesn't have to be a big deal you don't have to break up
2006-10-25 12:11:31 · answer #6 · answered by traci s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i mean if he know that you get irritaed and he still do what he do then you need to break up with him and find somebody else who cares about you and your feelings its not going to be easy but thats the only way out
2006-10-25 12:11:46 · answer #7 · answered by Hazel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to tell him, away from the bedroom. Tell him you need to talk, and let him know you're not satisfied.
If you can't talk about sex, you shouldn't be doing it. It's the facts.
2006-10-25 12:10:25 · answer #8 · answered by wayouthere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he only cares about himself then you should leave him to be with himself...
2006-10-25 12:08:23 · answer #9 · answered by 'Cause I'm Blonde 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have to tell him how you relly feel and let it roll out of your mouth as you mean it! he may get insecure to fix it if that is what it takes! good luck
2006-10-25 12:09:13 · answer #10 · answered by rwilson1684 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋