How do you tell your sister this?

Question

My neice is 4 years old and everytime she comes to my house she turns up the tempurature in my fridge to the coldest setting and it freezes everything. I ususally dont find out until I go in fridge to get something and it is frozen. Also, she plays with the thermostat and we ran out of oil to heat our house because it was set to a higher temperature and we did not know. When my sister brings her over she does not watch her and I guess she relies on me to watch her, but usually there is a lot going on so I cant always watch her. How can I tell my sister that this is going on? I cant have my electric bill sky rocket everytime she comes over and I dont want to have to remember to check everything, that is just annusance (sp) to me. Please help!

Answer 1

put lock boxes on the thermostats for the heater the make a lock for the fridge too or just tell your sis what her daughter is doing talk to your niece about it to give you niece something to do shes probably board and the grownups aren't paying any attention to her so shes acting out

Answer 2

I have had similar problems with certain relatives coming over (often unannounced) and letting their children roam free in my home. We don't have kids, so our house isn't childproof. The kids throw things they tear off shelves, pick up things that they shouldn't play with, etc. I used to give subtle hints that I wasn't happy as I chased the kids around while the parents sat there. Now, I don't BUDGE. Of course I'd intervene if the kid was about to get hurt, but once I stopped jumping up each time the kids ran off or ripped something off a shelf, mom and dad realized that THEY needed to be on guard, not me. That approach might help you out in general.

As for the specifics you mentioned-the heat and the fridge-just straight up tell your sister. Approach it as a concerned aunt. Say, "I'm not sure if you know she can do this...but you might want to watch her because she turned our heat all the way up and burnt all our oil." Or simply say, "She needs to play in this room because she got into some things in other rooms last time and I don't want her to get hurt."

Answer 3

This has happened to me. This is how I handled my nieces and nephews. I tell them that they will go by my rules in my house. I never talk with my siblings about what their children do. I teach them the way I want them to act in my house. So, the next time my nephew came over, I took him to all the thermostats in the house and told him not to touch them. I watched him on the first visit and when I seen him reaching for the thermostat in the refrigerator, I immediately said no. If he wanted something out of the refrigerator all he had to do was ask me. And I told all of my nieces and nephews, if they want something at my house, all they have to do is ask.

Answer 4

First of all this is not your sister's fault it is your fault because you don't set down rules when she walks in the door so the next time she comes to visit say to this child in front of her mother please don't open my fridge unless you ask and the thing here on the wall is not a toy so keep your hands off of it. You are a guest here and I for one don't feel like I should have to watch you every second that you are here then I bet your sister watches her kid and if she don't then straight up and honesty is the best policy when you can watch your child then your welcome to come visit.

Answer 5

Tell your niece and her mother not touch or play with the thermostat. How can a 4 year old reach a thermostat that is 4-5 ft high? Does she use chair??

Answer 6

tell them together, 4 years old is old enough to understand what she did is wrong. Tell her the results of turning the fridge thermostat up and how upset you are. Does this kid have feelings, or does she laugh? If things don't improve, maybe you should visit them (mess with her room a bit while you are there lol- joking)

Answer 7

Just level with your sister - honesty is always the best policy. You don't want to become resentful about this situation by letting it fester. And frankly, this is the problem that most people have in their relationships is that they don't make others accountable for their actions - that's your sisters child, not yours. See, I'm the type I don't hold anything, if I got a problem with it, we're going to discuss it, and you can tell anyone anything - - It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

Answer 8

well, keep an eye on her and when you see her doing something wrong stop her and take her to her mother and say "keep an eye on her, she was messing with _____". Hopefully, she'll get the hint. A four year old has no business in the fridge by herself or climbing up on stuff to mess with the thermostat anyways.

Answer 9

Kids are kids. You have to understand that you are responsible for your neice when she comes over. She will walk all over you if you don't explain to her what the limits are in your house. You have to be direct and firm. Let your sister know this too. Both of you have to show authority and be firm.

Answer 10

I'd tell her just like how you're saying now, except the "nuisance" thing. You should freely tell her cause she's your own sister anyway. Just be honest and try to see the brighter things about your niece. Remember your sister will be having nieces from you someday so if you don't want her to feel bad about your own kids, try to feel good about her daughter now.