A man's perogative
"I never quite figured out why the s3xual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled
look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do
for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing s3xual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me
for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having s3x tonight either....but at least that b*t*h
knows I'm smarter than her.
2006-10-25 04:45:41 · 21 answers · asked by lost_rabbit 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
That's really good. If you wrote it yourself you should try some stand up comedy.
2006-10-25 04:52:09 · answer #1 · answered by travis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Super duper with a cherry on the top.
Best one I've seen on here for a long time.
(Don't care if it's plagiarised - it was well written!!)
2006-10-25 12:19:12 · answer #2 · answered by Phlodgeybodge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice one! Very amusing and I have already copied and pasted it to send to a friend.
2006-10-25 11:53:04 · answer #3 · answered by Caffeine Fiend 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow....now thats a smart guy...but id watchout when u sleep....Revenge is very tempting and incredibly sweet...especially is the bastard that deserves it is asleep! lol
2006-10-25 12:02:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
F***ing Hilarious... By far the best one I have heard yet!
2006-10-25 11:52:55 · answer #5 · answered by zrose86 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell nah!!! That is super cold blooded!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha. Thats super funny tho...! He may not be getting any booty for a minute there......
2006-10-25 12:45:24 · answer #6 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is sooo cold, yet sooo very very good
2006-10-25 11:52:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was freakin' good. Wow was that awesome. You rock 1000/100 you go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-25 13:03:37 · answer #8 · answered by ☺Smiley☺ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LMAO!!! Hillarious!!!
2006-10-25 11:50:31 · answer #9 · answered by queenmackerel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
where have i heard this before. I can't think of the comedian's name...
â£
2006-10-25 11:49:19 · answer #10 · answered by VetteLeo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋