What is a good way to stop being passive aggressive ? I see it in myself and I hate being that way .?

Question

Are there any ways to stop this most frustrating way of dealing with people?

Answer 1

There is a way that really works. I taught it to my students when we were reviewing psychology.

It is called transactional analysis or TA.

There are sites that help people study it from various perspectives, some rather formal and others less so. You can read through the different sites you find and choose the ones that suit your personality.

I am not going to go into it here, it is a large theory that really needs a lot of study, but one that can change both your behaviors and the behaviors of those you deal with because of your understanding of various modes of communication that arise between people in everyday dealings.

Here are some starting points for your investigation:

http://www.ta-tutor.com/
http://www.businessballs.com/transact.htm
http://www.itaa-net.org/ta/index.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transactional_analysis
http://changingminds.org/explanations/behaviors/ta.htm

;-D Take your time. It can become very interesting to change not only your behavior, but the behavior of your family and friends! Have fun!

Answer 2

I wish I could tell you of a miracle cure, but being a passive aggressive person myself, I can not. I also hate the way I treat people, especially the ones I love. It is very for me to deal with myself when I'm that way. I have worked for years trying different techniques, what works best for me, is to just not say anything, and try to think about what I'm saying before I spew it out of my mouth. Good luck to you sweetie.

Answer 3

There is a really good book called "When I say no, I feel guilty". I teaches you ways of being assertive. It explains what being aggressive and passive aggressive and explains in a very simple way how to be assertive. This is an older book but is worth the reading if you really want to change your behavior.

Answer 4

COPE! Through our sometimes VERY TOUGH LIVEs, there is ALWAYS a BRIGHT side!!! Ex: you are in car crash and break a leg or arm an car is totaled = at least you are alive = YOU COULD OF DIED!

People often say things they THINK 1st, then after they think of what was said, either they did it mean it the way it sounded or WISH they did not say it at all!!!

YOU control what you do, say, act, life and it is up to you to change your out look on what happens around you...

Would add more! Except I have to go have MRI done at 2pm, SORRY I don't have more time to give you prosperous info! For further options contact me. I come to library few times a week...

GOOD THOUGHTS B W/U!!!!!!!

Answer 5

Oh my god, I pray you do get help. My roomate is like that and I'm freaking out. She just seems kinda upset and when she gets home she hides out in her room.
I ask her whats wrong and she says nothing. It is soooooooooooooooooooooooo horrible. I'm like ok is she mad, is she sad, does she just want to be alone. Is is me? What can I do?? who knows. Seriously I'm about unable to take it any longer. When I get home my heart rate increases, I'm flat out nervous.
God if your pissed at someone just tell them, I'd rather be punched in the jaw then deal with this. I won't deal with it long.

Answer 6

Destroy all interlopers....

Try to find humor in everything... in doing so the mighty are lowered and the lowly are raised....

Answer 7

if you find out, please let me know. I was told that i am that way too but did not know until i started paying attention to how i react to things.

Answer 8

consult a good psychiatrist at the earliest.

Answer 9

Why change? You could be a lot worse.