What should I do?

Question

My friend is suffering from depression, a milder version from what I suffered with for the last 3-4 years. I understand what she is going through and agree that she needs help and support, but she is acting very attention seekingly and is crying at any sign of stress, including just being in class, or the mention of universities. I know it can be hard, but it's been going on for a while and is now getting some "pupil support" at school, but hasn't learnt how to cope with her feelings, instead she just wimpers, cries, makes annoying noises and really pisses my other friends and I off. I do want her to get better and I feel for her. But we give her attention, and try to get her involved outside of school, we're heard all her moans and groans, and she just isn't interested in our help. It feels like she just wants to get everyone's attention, and wants to make new friends with others at pupil support. She goes there at break times, lunch times, and during classes. No wonder she's stressed

about exams etc. if she is never in class to do the work. No one else suffering from the same condition gets let off from missing class like she does and apparently its because she's "special". She has special needs - used to need a scribe because she is a bit shakey and can't write as fast, but appart from that she's no different from the rest of us.

She went to the doctor and is getting a psychiatrist, and also is on anti-depressants which apparently aren't working. She has been speaking to her guidance teacher, and also has been texting another teacher for support (for this last thing, when I was doing the same thing... I eventually got told off for it a lot and banned from texting her, as it was not allowed, but she's been doing it - should I tell another teacher that she is doing it - I might just be seen as a snitch rather than actually responding to her behaviour then)

Her parents already know about the depression. I think she'd be on childline 24 hrs a day if she could!!

List of people who know - all her school friends, teachers, guidance teacher, pupil support team, school counsellor, parents and brother, her doctor and her soon-to-be psychiatrist

Answer 1

i feel people who are truly depressed can not function properly, they dont want to go to class, or interact in anyway, saying that, maybe she spends all her free time in pupil support as she feels the people there understand her. its time she got a grip frankly and its not fair that she drags you and your friends down with her.

Answer 2

The best thing that you and your friends can do for her right now is take care of yourselves, continue to be supportive, and make sure she is getting professional help.

Be honest with yourself about how much you can humanly do, and be honest with her about the way things are. Talk to a parent or guidance councillor if you need some help handling things, or don't know what to do. You're only human, and so is she - but with honesty, a bit of understanding, and support from sources that are available to you, you guys can get through this.

All the best, and blessed be.

Answer 3

It might seem like a betrayal, but why not contact your friend's parents & see if you can get them involved.... if they are not already.

As a caring friend, it does sound like you are trying to your best for her - but I think that it is becoming too much for you (& everyone else) & that she is in danger of losing your sympathy for her plight as you struggle & fail to help her to feel better.

I think that you are doing all that you can & that it is now time to involve someone else. If you don't want to approach her parents, then why not contact a teacher at school & ask them to help.

Or possibly phone Childline ... they should have some positive advice for you on what to do.

0800 1111

Answer 4

Maybe your friend's "pupil support" is leading her astray. I have discovered that a lot of people give "patt" answers to "needy" people because...1. they don't know the answer. 2. They just want them to go away because they have their own problems. 3. Both 1 and 2! What I am going to do is pray for her. Through my life's experiences I have discovered that this is the first thing to do not a last resort. Don't give up on her please. Just a suggestion. Di

Answer 5

No one can be helped unless they want to be helped. She evidently gets the attention she wants using these tactics, which is why they persist. Talk with her, be very frank, then don't fall for the attention manipulators any more. When she sees the tactics drive people off rather than attract them, she will read the handwriting on the wall. She is using you, is too needy for her own good, and, until she has insight into her own behavior, will continue because it gets the results she wants. Break free, RUN - for your own sanity and peace of mind.

Answer 6

Speak to her parents and see if they can offer support or maybe help you understand the reason for her situation in more depth.

These things often take a long time to really be resolved, as I am sure you know. Try to keep positive with your friend and even when it looks like nothing is making a difference, keep on perseverving and try to stay positive with her.

Then maybe slowly she will come round.

Answer 7

That don't sound like depression depression is comanly an inward exersise she sounds like an attention seeker plain and simply don't react to it treat her how she is acting i.e. if she acts like a cry baby treat her acordingly when she asks why you are treating her like that be as blunt as possible she need's to get out of the habbit before she enter's the real world or she will get eatin alive.

Answer 8

growing up is really hard for some people,and young people are not aware of the very thing that is bothering them..its as if even through so much attention,her own mind has blocked a very painfull thing away..it may be that it will not reveal itself untill she is much older.She is lacking in the self assertiveness that is needed to survive in a very harsh world...try introducing her to sports or rough games like rugby tackling or badminton,,something that gets the adrenalin going....she might surprise herself and gain a little confidence in her own ability to cope...also as you probably understand sufferers become healers...try to get her to care about others or some social cause,,,something that distracts her mind from her own problems.....she has to realize that she is not the only person in life that has suffered...this way you may help her realize part of her sensitivity is part and parcel of caring for others as well as oneself......

Answer 9

She should visit a medical counsellor - it really helped me when I felt the same, because it gave me the opportunity to speak to someone who wasn't involved in the situation - it may make her view her problems from a different angle.

Answer 10

I started reading your question but got so depressed that i started cutting my wrists

Anyone know of a good first aid trick to stop the bleeding