I have recently lost a lot of weight and guys that wouldn't give me the time of day before suddenly are interested in talking to me. How do I know a guy wants me for ME and not for my new figure?
2006-10-25 04:33:39 · 32 answers · asked by Mintygoodness1 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The right guy will want you for both and a hundred other reasons. There is nothing wrong with a person liking how someone looks. What you should concentrate on is finding a guy that you like . Someone that can hold a conversation, make you laugh, TRUST, like to hang out with,etc.....
If you like a physically attractive guy then so be it. It amazes me that a person is suppose to feel bad about not being attracted to out of shape, overweight people. I'm not putting down people that are overweight. But, is it wrong to also like the way someone looks? My wife is a hottie. I get complements about her looks all the time. That's not why I married her. I have a hundred reasons why I married her that have nothing to do with her looks. But, I must admit, I was very physically attracted to her long before I spoke to her. I'm not ashamed of that fact. I'm still attracted to many women. But, I don't act on it.
Stay in shape for you. Continue your road to health because you want to. Don't worry that guys like the way you look. Get to know a guy well. Guys that want just one thing tend to have short attention spans. Take a relationship at your own pace. Until you truly trust the guy don't go forward. And, for all those guys that past you by before I would past them by now. You are going to have a real hard time trusting them compared to new guys. There are always other fish in the sea.
2006-10-25 04:55:08 · answer #1 · answered by ontopofoldsmokie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on your new weight loss! You should be sooo proud of yourself!
As far as this situation you described, you must remember that no matter what, a man is far less emotional than women, even the nice ones. It's only natural for them to give attention to you since you've lost weight. They're not doing it to be jerks or imply that they wouldn't have dated you before, so don't look into it too much.
Be a cool girl, date the ones you like, and trust me, once they see the sweet girl you probably are, they'll think, "Wow! Beauty AND brains!"
Remember, even a good man acts superficial. I was about 120 pounts and 5'3 when I met by fiance (still am). Now, I bet you $100 bucks if I was overweight when I met him, he probably would have NEVER approached me. Not because he's a jerk or that I wasn't good enough. It's just easy for a guy to pass by a good women because they do a lot of judging with their eyes.
Just think of the positive...These guys are now noticing you. There's tons of girls that lose weight and are STILL not noticed. You must be a very special girl, very pretty and fun to be with, in order to get all this attention.
Congratulations and relish every moment, pimp momma =) lol.
2006-10-25 04:40:42 · answer #2 · answered by A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The men who didn't like you before because of your looks, don't deserve the time of day from you, honestly. Those are obviously the ones who were only out for your looks.
Any *new* guy who is interested though, may be interested in your figure as well as your personality. How can you tell? Talk to him. The more interested he is in you as a person, the more interested he is in getting to know you, and the less pushy he is to get you to make out, the less likely it is that he's just after your figure.
Hope that helps.
2006-10-25 04:37:55 · answer #3 · answered by Craig 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A woman's looks for a guy (with maturity) is just an entry level criteria.
If the guy has any maturity, it will be the real you that matters in the end.
I was that guy in college. A fat girl I knew took a liking to me. We went on a date, but I really wasn't interested. Then she lost a bunch of weight, and I felt that I at least had the foundation to learn more about what she's all about - which wasn't much, so it didn't go anywhere.
But I wouldn't even consider it when her appearance disgusted me.
Would you? Would you date some scraggly looking gross guy even if he had a "great" personality?
There are some things that are just too much to ask of anyone.
2006-10-25 04:35:21 · answer #4 · answered by Salami and Orange Juice 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
they showed interest before.
there is a chance they just didn't notice you for some reason (maybe you're quiet) but probably not. find someone that didn't know you when you were larger would be a better bet.
If you do go for one of these guys you can ask about before you lost the weight and look for signs like he's mostly physical - prefering to mess around rather than spend time with you ect.
congrats on losing the weight :)
2006-10-25 04:36:09 · answer #5 · answered by attila 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If these guys weren't interested in you before you lost weight then don't give them the time of day. You know their only interested in you for your looks not for who you are.
2006-10-25 04:36:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if those guys knew your personality before, and still wouldnt go out with you, dont even give them the time of day. if they didnt really know you, just knew your looks, then at least give them a shot. yes they are probably shallow, but they might really like you for you if they get a chance. and you can put them on the stop and ask them why they wouldnt talk to you when you were heavy. make them feel uncomfortable. if they really like you, they will fess up and come up with somehting good. hopefully.
2006-10-25 04:37:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went thru the same thing when I had bariatric surgery. Funny thing is.....I am STILL the same person I was before..... If I wasn't 'good enough' for someone THEN, why the hell would THEY be good enough for ME now ??? (know what I mean?)
As for 'knowing' whether someone wants you for 'you' - get to know them and see how they treat other people. You will get an idea of what kind of a person they really are.
Good Luck ! Keep up the great work !
2006-10-25 04:41:17 · answer #8 · answered by barhopper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if the guy knew u all along and never paid any attention to u at all, then obviously its coz of ur new figure.But, if there have been some guys who've always been friendly to u, then i guess they are the ones u shud trust.But, frankly speaking, everyone does have a bit of a shallow side to them, so dont take it too seriously.
2006-10-25 04:38:00 · answer #9 · answered by Sunrise 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They may not be interested in you just because of your new figure. They were probably too stuck up to give you the time of day when you weighed more.
2006-10-25 04:45:49 · answer #10 · answered by dipsy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋