How do you know if it is really over if you don't give it a 2nd try?

Question

I told a guy I was dating that we could no longer be friends because of his decesion to move out of the state in 6 or 7 months. I told him that I did not want to continue to date him, get closer to him or be friends with benefits since he was leaving. I sent him back all his stuff in the mail and he has not talked to me since. I don't know if I over reacted, I don't know if he said that because he is seeing someone else. We met online while he was in Iraq, and we talked for about 6 or 7 months we wrote letters, made phone calls, emailed and IM'd each other the whole nine yards now he has not even tried to contact me. We hung out once he got here and I thought everything was fine until he told me about the up coming move. I don't know if he misses me, if he is waiting for me to contact him, is it really over or do everything just need time. I know the golden rule about not contacting a guy who broke up with you, but does the rule apply to this situation? Please help.

I had that reaction and sent him his stuff back because instead of him saying we can get through this or we can still try or something that made me feel like he wanted to be with me he said since I won’t let him get close to me anymore how can we at least remain friends.

Answer 1

You can contact him, but be prepared either way, and listen to your gut instinct. It may be that you did hurt him by behaving irrationally, or it may be that he has another girlfriend. You have to find that out for yourself if it's worth it to you... but remember, long distance relationships are challenging and still require maintenance, even more so with long distance.