Me and my girl have been together for 8yrs off and on and have a 6yr old boy. we have both cheated on each other but, about 3 yrs ago we both agreed never to do it again. I have been faithful but about a year ago she cheated again. I let her move back in and not even 1yr has gone by and she wants to get married. I'm scared because I want to have a good relationship but affriad this will cont. should I Marry her or not?
2006-10-25 03:16:21 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Yeah...uh huh...go ahead. I'll be watching for your next question about whether you should stay married.
2006-10-25 03:19:10 · answer #1 · answered by IGH3Rat 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The two of you could probably keep on going the way your are and have a "good" relationship, since you both got into the habit op cheating and still forgive and keep on going. However you will never be able to trust one another and even though you say you haven't cheated since you agreed not to do it again, what happens in another 3 years' time or 10 or 20 years? Are you prepared to stay faithful to your girl or future wife for the rest of your life? If you have any doubt whether you can keep to this then no! Same goes for her! Marriage is sacred. Don't make a mockery out of it!
2006-10-25 03:29:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're scared, then you're not ready to get married at this point in time. A successful marriage is based on loyalty, communication and trust. Sad to say, but your girl did break her part of the deal and cheated yet again while you remained faithful. And she cheated on you while both of you have a kid! You don't deserve a girl that put you through that. And it will be very unhealthy if you do get married and continue to have thoughts if/when she will cheat again. That's unnecessary stress for you to have when being married.
With all that say, follow your heart. And really think what you want to put yourself through. Good luck.
2006-10-25 03:31:26 · answer #3 · answered by JenGen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is your choice to marry her.
We can only give opinion, but are opinion's shouldn't be your choice. Your choice is based on what you want in life and what you feel is best for yourself and future marriage.
You two have a history of cheating. Best to seek pre-marriage counseling to determine why cheating is taken place and learn self control of one's lusting thoughts etc.
For right now, work on the relationship and make it stronger. Gain information and allow that to determine if marriage is the best.
As for the 6 year old, marriage just because of a child is never a good idea. This child needs stability and two parents who can get along; Married or not with out hurting eachother. Even if you try to hide it from your child, children are smart and figure it out as they get older. Remember, do what is also best for 6 year old son. He too matters and hurts as well.
2006-10-25 07:45:02 · answer #4 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say no at this point. When she proves that she can stay faithful for 3 years, then consider it. Don't just get married for the sake of a child, in the long run, the child is the one to get hurt the most.
2006-10-25 03:21:48 · answer #5 · answered by shepherd169 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the TWO of you need to do is determine what is best for your child. Is it best for him to see Dad and Mom going here and there? Is it good for Mom to have "uncles" visiting her for two hours one evening and he has to stay in his room? What about his father going to visit "aunties" at the club?
It is time to grow up. Mom and Dad want to get married? Are they sure? You're making a move to say, "one person FOR LIFE." She and You are making an OATH before God and all parties concerned. Your family and Her family. The TWO of you are saying, "We are seeking to give each other and our son some symbol of stability in our life together... TIL DEATH DO US PART."
Also, Don't assume that just because you get married all your problems are just going to fade off into the sunset. Marriage is not a Miracle. Marriage is the joining of TWO individuals into seemingly ONE unit that builds off of strengths and weaknesses to work together to meet challenges of life. Individuals have personalities that are going to clash from time to time.
Are both of you committed? Are you both serious? Then proceed to marriage, if you both really mean it. If either one of you is NOT committed or serious, then I'd say you probably shouldn't get married.
Cold hard reality, I know. You need to sit down with her and really discuss it. Ask yourself the vow, "I am willing to Love, Honor, Cherish, and Obey!" "Forsaking all others" "Sickness/Health", "Richer/Poorer" "Better/Worse" UNTIL Death do us part?"
Study those words... Marriage is a Covenant relationship between You, Your Wife, and God. With any type of covenant, there will be challenges to test the validity of the covenant.
You could get married and boom..... She gets sick... What if she had cancer and you don't have health insurance? Are you going to battle for her and do everything you can to help her? What if you got into a car wreck and were left paralyzed? She had to take care of you. Would she?
Marriage is a lot more serious than divorce lawyers want to market it to be... It's not just a happy go lucky type of commitment... "I'm not happy... oh well, I guess I'll get divorced."
God never promised you a happy life on this Earth... Cold hard facts, brother. Sobering thoughts aren't they, but I think you needed someone to give you the truth... Straight... No chaser.
My best for you... your prospective wife... and especially your son... Regardless, be a man, your son is watching and learning.
2006-10-25 03:45:44 · answer #6 · answered by James B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly no you should not get married it sounds like maybe you both need to see a therapist and work on your trust issues before getting married. Marriage is a good thing but you have to think of you r son he needs a stable family life.
2006-10-25 04:40:08 · answer #7 · answered by amy_cash_2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No No No No.. neither have trust in your relationship, I doubt you are even in love, how can you be if you both continuosly cheat on eachother. For the sake of your child I would end this disaster you call a relationship.
2006-10-25 03:20:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. Get out now while you can. Once she has cheated, she will keep doing it. Someday you will both find someone that you don't ever want to cheat on, and that is the person you should marry.
2006-10-25 03:53:02 · answer #9 · answered by any p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hhhhm tough. . .
Do you feel you can trust her? If your answer is yes then you should probably get married.
However there are other things to consider.
Do you feel getting married will benefit your lives or your child's life in anyway?
Have you got enough money for a wedding?
Why does she want to get married so suddenly?
Do you think getting married will mean you are more commited to each other?
Ask yourself these questions. You're the only one who can decide in reality. I hope I've helped.
2006-10-25 04:12:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No Trust from either of You= Destined to fail further down the line!
No basis for a Long Term Relationship,let alone Marriage!!!!!!
So-NO!!
2006-10-25 03:19:14 · answer #11 · answered by J. Charles 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋