How do i develop my personality ? Do read the details.?

Question

Everyone in my family misunderstand me.They think i am selfish.I am a bit lazy i admit but not selfish. They quarrel with me almost everyday over my small mistakes.BUT my mom is caring & loving, my dad too loves me alot but does'nt show his feelings & prefers being strict with me. MY COUSINS make fun of me because i am sensitive & emotional & don't take all the things from materialistic point of view.THEY criticise me , pass comments on me & make me cry. I don't say anything because i don't want to hurt anybody's sentiments as they are elder to me. Moreover i am not like them.CAN YOU BELIEVE IT THEY THINK BUYING BOOKS IS WASTE OF MONEY? I am suffering from a sense of inferiority complex. PLEASE HELP ME.

Answer 1

Wow, I feel for you. It sounds like you may be a teen. You are very bright in being able to acknowledge that you are not in a very healthy environment.

One that that has helped me alot was a book called "Why You Act the Way you do". I think I got it on amazon for a few bucks. It's a paperback. It's by Tim Lahaye. The biggest thing I've learned is all the different personality traits. It's an easy book where you can skip around.
Basically, everyone is born with certain traits and they are all good. Any trait can be bad if taken to the extreme. If they tease, criticize or bug you about stuff, you can at least know in your heart that you were made this way and you're not inferior. If they are critical of your mistakes, just also know that they were made that way. They're criticism shouldn't have any effect on your self esteem. The world is supposed to be made up of all different kinds of people. I'm also not materialistic, I'm sensitive, emotional and I cry easily. I also smile and laugh easily....
This may be hard to understand too, but they are only human, so their judgement of you shouldn't matter. Only the opinion of God matters and He loves you. He made you like that. Concentrate on all your good traits. Make a list of all your good traits whenever you think of them. When you are down, go to your list and read through them to remind yourself of the good things. When you are older and out of the house, you've learned how you will NOT treat your children.
I also admire you for respecting your elders...that makes your life a little less hard.

Answer 2

Show my Answer and your Q? to your mom and dad and they should intervine when it gets too much, and put an end to the harassment. Treasing is good fun thing but harrasment is something else.

You said.

THEY criticise me , pass comments on me & make me cry. I don't say anything because i don't want to hurt anybody's sentiments as they are elder to me. Moreover i am not like them

It speaks of your personality. These are very good trates. Do not loose them. Yes you are not like them, you are batter the them. You respect their feeling and you are caring person they should be very glad to have you as their sibling.

People make fun of, the only people that they like and know. So it is a good thing, but down side is that it can get bad and make you cry. But crying is not a crime. They have to be sensitive to your feeling.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT THEY THINK BUYING BOOKS IS WASTE OF MONEY?

I say you must talk about it to both the parents, you must have what you need for the school(books, Geometry tools.....). Other books like novels and suff like that should be up to you and the parents, they have no right to interfere.

I am a bit lazy

This is where you have to improve. You and you can do some thing about it and show this letter to the parent and let them know that you are doing some thing about it.

I hope this will help.

Answer 3

HI GAYATRI...

Well you have a quite geninue problem but..not the toughest...Anyways lets mutually find the solutions..ok

1}See first of all you nee to be quite strong fron your heart..and
for that u should always make your heart understand that what
you do is the best for your lifeand career..this thinking would
give you a confidence in yourself and make you quite strong to
listen anyones words.

2} You being younger in your family have a quite matured thinking
becos of which u never speak against your elder ones which
is the best..see silence is the best weapon to make anyone
lose the war..one or the other day they would realise the
importance of what u did in your life..

So dont feel your self let down..Just conerntarte on your stuydies and career and show then your ability by securing good marks and making your presence in the educational field...
Still u feel yourself let down then u can mail me or chat with me on; [e-mail]..

Hope i could share your part of problem..

Tk Cr..Bye Bye

Answer 4

It seems that your family simply has a different set of values then you do, which as I know from experience can be incredibly difficult.
Perhaps next time they say something to you about the things you find important you could stand up to them just a little bit and tell them that you find these things important, and just because they don't doesn't mean they aren't. I'm sure there is something they consider important that you think is silly, you could use it as an example.
ie if they like hunting and you don't something along the lines of " I don't comment on the things you do for fun and find interesting like hunting, even though they aren't appealing to me, we like different things, and it's immature and disrespectful of you to speak to me the way you do about my interests. I respect your interests and opinions, please show me the same courtesy."

They may be surprised that you responded to them, and they may not like your reaction, but there is also the possiblity that it makes sense to them. Worse comes to worse they continue to do what they're doing but with the memory of you standing up for yourself.
And trust me, even though it's horrifying to think about and probably very out of your personal charactor, standing up for yourself and the things you consider important will make you feel more confident within yourself, and help you to realize the reason why you are the way you are. It will rebuild and your belief in yourself.

Answer 5

Nothing to worry. These attitudes change in a course of time. Do not react by crying or showing your emotions. Just smile off. You are intelligent . Try to mingle with everybody nicely evenif they behave in different way. Just keep away your emotions. Be happy. Pl kkep in mind that other people making fun of you or treating you badly cannot make any difference in you untill you decide. So be yourself and always smile at everybody. Things will change.

Answer 6

I'm guessing here - but are you a teenager? This is a time of complete chaos. It seems like you are against the entire world. No one will ever understand you. Just be yourself. This is not an easy road to follow (the tennage years are very hard) but eventually things will smooth themselves out. Just know that it is completely normal that you are feeling this way. You are a great person and never lose sight of that!

Answer 7

My 3 ultimate acquaintances and that i (one is a gay guy) like completely categories of adult males. Which i think of is an exceptionally solid factor via fact we by no potential decide for the comparable guy. properly, it may take place now and then.. yet no longer truly. i think of the rationalization some communities of acquaintances like the comparable guy is via fact they're alike. pay attention to the comparable music, watch the comparable video clips, placed on the comparable outfits.. So of course, like the comparable type of guy. It additionally could be a contest factor.. you already know, fairly some ladies like "stressful circumstances". If she's competing against another ladies who're comparable to her.. properly, it is a undertaking. i do no longer understand, it is my wager. Like I reported, it is not that way with us. If my buddy likes somebody, I won't even seem at him in that way.

Answer 8

Psyche yourself everyday that it is only yourself that makes yourself inferior. Look at the mirror and tell yourself that not any negative word could affect you because, although you are not perfect , you are a unique individual who have hidden assets and still undiscovered talents. Believe in yourself. At first, it may sound hollow when you tell those things to yourself. But as days will pass, you will be having more conviction in saying it , because you will believe it yourself then.

Answer 9

my dear you dont need to feel inferior rather you should feel superior to your cousins that they are deprived of the pleasure of readin a book and dont match up to the beauty of life you are going through.the problem is neither you nor your family.the fact is that you are a person of different ideas from your family.
my best frnd has a family like yours and when i met her she was shallow and an absolute loser.i tried damage control and today i have succeding in evoking some human feelings in her so that she at least enjoys some of her life.being lazy is a problem but not a disease.just relax.
i admire you for surviing in your family.i know i couldnt ever.i am a person of my own ideas and just like you i dont believe in hurting ppl in anyway.i too am a book lover.i think you should try my secret way of standing against such ppl who dont respect your ideas.
its called the meethi churi method.you be extra sweet and fashion what you say.be pleasant and polite and ber rude at the same time.for eg.if your cousins say that buyin a book is wasting money. just say-' you know money is really imp in life but at times because of running behind money ppl tend to deprive themselves of reality.they deprive themselves from the pleasure of reading a book.such ppl are so maerialistic and never ever have a happy life.i am glad that i dont have to cry for very penny rather i use my money wisely." this way you can say what you want and not point out that you are refering to your cousins.
also talk to your dad and give him a lot of love and hugs.tell him that you love him and want to be his frnd.tell him that you dont want him to be your general or major and treat you like a cadet rather tell him that you want your father to be your close frnd.my dad is my close frnd and i share alot with him.its really nice to have your parents understand and know bout some part of your life!good luck and do get in touch with me.i can easily have a gr8 time helpin you as i had helped my best frnd get out of her family pains!good luck

Answer 10

start standing up for yourself, when they criticise you ask them why they do this?
Be strong dont let them get to you, they are just bullies to put you dont all the time. Are they perfect? Nobody is.
As for being lazy we all are to a certain extent, get up and start doing stuff, make a meal for your parents, or something else you get the idea, show them your not these things that they say you are.
Ignore it, get on with your life and move on get a great career not to prove to them, but to yourself. Make your life how you want it to be.