I’m going to attempt to nut shell this story. My best friend, Lauren and I have known each other for over 10 years. We are now both 25. A year ago we became closer than we’ve ever been after having gone through similar break ups, graduating college, and finding independency. We clubbed on weekends and would crash at night at either her place or mine. Both of us are successful, attractive and intelligent women, who have fun, but are also very responsible, sensible adults.
One night at my place we ended up fooling around. This went on for a few months and then we both started dating other people. We decided we would go back to “just being friends” but our urge to be together was so strong that if we were ever alone we would end up in bed together. None of us had ever liked girls before, we have always considered ourselves straight, but now realize that we are both probably bi. This went on for another couple of months of random kisses and touches when we could manage them. And this all went on while we were both starting to get serious with our boyfriends. This became so confusing to us we didn’t know what we were going to do about it, how it was going to affect our friendship and our relationships with our boyfriends. We were also both at the stage where settling down would be the next step in our lives. The secret of being in love with each other (“in love” as in lust+friendship love) was getting too much for us to handle as well as the guilt of then pretending with our boyfriends that we were being faithful to them. At one point the guilt consumed Lauren and she said she couldn’t do it anymore, I agreed. So now we are both back to being friends, even though now and then we may talk about it or joke about it. I don’t know how she is feeling about it because we try not to talk about it too much, but I am still haunted with the memories and whenever I hear her voice I want her all over again, but I don’t say anything.
I love my boyfriend and we are planning on getting married. Lauren is on the same boat.
So my question is, was it cheating when Lauren and I were seeing each other when we had boyfriends? And is it cheating now that we still think about it even though we are no longer physical?
2006-10-25 03:06:20 · 7 answers · asked by aidances 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Its only cheating if you think it is. But it is normal to lust after tohers while in a committed relationship. I do it all the time. To act on it would be the problem and the "cheat".
It would probably make both your boyfriends hot to know you two fooled around though.
2006-10-25 03:09:13 · answer #1 · answered by cici 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, that was cheating. You can word it any way you like. If are in a relationship, doesn't matter if it's a girl or guy, and you are intimate with someone else behind the back of your mate, that's cheating. The question is, should you feel guilty about it? I probably wouldn't. I won't say it's natural to develop feelings for your best friend, because it's not. It's not necessarily cheating just because you think about it now. It's keeping secrets from your boyfriend. But your boyfriend is not your husband so you don't actually owe him anything. Right now, I don't see a problem. But when you girls decide to get married, it would be wrong to carry on a physical relationship and if you think about it, it would be dishonest to not share your thoughts/experiences with your husband. If I can make a suggestion, next time you girls get the urge to fool around, include your men in the situation. No one's hiding and everybody is getting what they want. I'll bet your men won't complain too much either.
2006-10-25 03:19:51 · answer #2 · answered by Honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! That’s a crazy story! Cheating is when you kiss somebody more that 1second, with the feeling of attraction. You've gone beyond that point! So yes both of you cheated! Getting married? How? You don't even know if you want to be with a woman or a man. Maybe you should take a step back and decide what you really want. If you love your bf, you will not do this to him, say your getting married, have children, then decide you want to be with woman, what about your family? About your girlfriend, just let her b, because you are both confusing one another. You must think twice before you take the big step.
2006-10-25 03:19:50 · answer #3 · answered by confussie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It must be really tough on you, i suggest that you stay away from your best friend for awhile, try not to see her more often. You need to think about this carefully, i mean... what about the day when she gets married the worst feeling anyone can have is wanting a person so bad but also knowing he/she can't never be yours. And for your question, yes thats cheating no matter if you were doing it with a woman or a man.
2006-10-25 03:22:00 · answer #4 · answered by LaoSy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it was cheating when you were physical with each other, but if you are getting married and you still think about her you need to do something!! you will always regret it otherwise if you say nothing. you obviously still have feelings for her!! talk to her about it. you need to talk about it and she how she feels about it. You can't go on like this!!!
2006-10-25 03:11:24 · answer #5 · answered by CP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not cheating...its every mans fantasy...ask them to get involved if you think they'll both be comfortable with it.
2006-10-25 03:10:25 · answer #6 · answered by Bee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why dont you , her invite your boyfriends in
2006-10-25 03:10:22 · answer #7 · answered by James R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋