Can you help a man to trust again if he has been cheated on in the past?

Question

I've been hurt before, but I never dealt with a man thats been hurt and so open about it?

Answer 1

Once you have been cheated on it is hard to trust again. The fact that he is open about it gives you a head start on helping him get through this. Most men keep things bottled up and you have to dig to find out what's bugging him. You already know. The best you can do for him is to keep reminding him that you are not the person that did the cheating and you need him to trust you. Tell him you'll walk away and end it before you would ever do that to him. Reassure him over and over that you will be faithful(AND YOU BETTER BECAUSE YOU ARE DEALING WITH A DELICATE SITUATION WITH HIM AND YOU COULD DESTROY HIM IF YOU DO IT TO HIM TOO) show him lots of loving and be patient. Hopefully he will learn to trust again.

Answer 2

Must have been badly hurt to want to tell someone about it openly. Give the guy some time. Let him talk it through with you as much as he wants to. Listen. Be kind. Even if he repeats himself over and over. It hurts. And he needs to make the hurt stop. And right now that is the only way he knows how to make it stop. If you want to try this: tell him you want to listen, but you want to limit the time he vents, so the two of you can also have a nice time together. So....let him talk for say....twenty minutes or ten...then tell him....ok, now we talk about something that makes us smile. And turn the subject around abruptly to something silly or goofy, tv, a movie, a news item that is so bizzare it's ridiculous. Tell him a really bad joke that makes him groan. Even a bad knock knock joke or kids' joke from wayyyyy back when you were little. We all remember those. He will get out of this funk. It will just take a while. If you want to invest the time in this, it will be worth your effort. And he will remember you were the one who put up with him when he was down and unhappy; and you made him feel better. If nothing else, you will get a gold star for being a nice person! ...and maybe a cookie.

Answer 3

Trust is a huge problem for me. I have been hurt many of times and lied to as well. I myself can trust just so much. I am constantly putting people to a test without even knowing it. I always think it's going to happen again and wind up pushing people away. My point is Yes you can help him but only to a point. Little by little he will learn to trust a bit more as your relationship continues but don't expect him to trust fully. He needs honesty and loads of reassuring and you need to remember that he will not be reacting to you as much but to the people that have hurt him in the past. Maybe by knowing that you have been hurt before, it will help ease the relationship for the both of you. He may be even more committed to this relationship than the others because of past guilt or pain. Take it slow for now and be honest with each other. You will eventually be able to earn each others trust one step at a time, I wish you both well.

Answer 4

No. as quickly as a cheater, continually a cheater. it could take awhile (uncertain), even though it is going to take place back. He feels entitled to realize this and could positively shift the blame to you for some shortcoming, and so on. flow on. There are greater efficient adult males accessible. have confidence me. My father is a serial cheater and that i had a boyfriend who replaced into the comparable way. the two professed to be great sorry and by no potential to do it back, yet wager what? Now I also have a great husband who has integrity and honor. fantastic onto a cheater will by no potential pay off. there is not any think approximately having a dating the place you're continually thinking and doubting. in case you won't be able to have confidence, the dating is already ineffective.

Answer 5

It is hard for anyone man or woman to trust after they have been hurt. You just have to be yourself and let him see that you are not the kind of person who cheats. It is hard and you have to be wiling to stick it out. When you feel like he is checking up on you to make sure you aren't cheating you are going to have to be patient with him and not defensive i assure you the person who hurt him on more than one occasion said "I am not doing anything wrong you are being paranoid." When he calls just to see what you are up to say something like "I am so glad you called I wanted to hear your voice." After a while of being treated very well and not worrying that anything you are doing follows the previous pattern he will feel secure again and give you his trust. Patience is the key.

Answer 6

Yes. The man I'm with now was cheated on by his ex-wife. I've spent the last 12 months gaining his trust. It takes patience and a lot of hard work, but I did it :)

Answer 7

I am with a man that was cheated on. His Baby's mother cheated on him, with his best friend. Our relationship is going on three years, and he still has tremendous mis trust for women in general! I am very cautious, and try very hard not to give him any reasons to question me. I stick to the truth, so that at no time can he associate me as a liar! I avoid situations where I am surrounded by other men. I keep it to Hi and Bye with his friends. I tell him, and SHOW him how important he is to me, and that I have dedicated myself to him, and him only!!

Answer 8

It seems to me all you can do is assure him of your love -by word and action- and be there for him. It's not going to be easy. And it might even be unfair to you, sometimes. But given time, the wound will surely heal. Don't be appolegetic. Don't encourage self pity. And make sure he knows you can't be held responsible for something somebody else did to him in the past. If the worst comes, tell him to grow up (get a life), pack your bags and leave. That would probably make him snap out of it!

Answer 9

I can't speak for all men, but usually it is the man's ego that is hurt and not so much his heart. In addition, it sounds to me like this guy has thought this through and has a goal in mind. Men use logic, always remember that.

Answer 10

If you cheated no he wont ever trust you again. If you have not cheated then he needs to deal with his hangups. you jsut need to be patient and loving as best you can but if he a a jealous jerk, send him packing.