How to prepare 12 year old?

Question

I have a dog (lab/spaniel mix) who is 13 yrs old. She had a seizer in August and has not been the same since. I took her to the emergency vet when she had the seizer, the vet says she probably has a brain tumor. She did a lot of blood work that all came back good. Since the seizer the dog has not been the same. She seem to be getting older right before my eyes. Her legs are week and she trembles. I have been giving her Rimadal for her arthrtis, but it only seems to help a little. I know the time is approching that we will need to put her down. How do I prepare my son? I have talked to him about it, explained that we can not allow her to suffer,he understands this, but when the time comes, do I tell him I am taking her and let him say goodbye? I know this will break his heart. Or do I just take her in while he is in school and tell him she was in bad shape and it was time? I have never had to handle this type of situation before. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks

Answer 1

This is definately a hard question. And really you have to go with what you think your son could handle.
I'm a fair bit older than 12 but I would want to be with the pup in her last hours. I've got a 4 year old lab and we're like sisters. If she got sick(heaven forbid) , had to be euthanized, I feel that I'd need to be there. Partly cause it's the last time she'll be around and partly for closure. Partly because my mom couldn't do it alone. But keep your son's heart in mind. You know your son best so gauge what he would be able to handle and travel that road.
Whether it's going with you to see it done, or just not being there (waiting at home, in the car, at school). Do give him ample opourtunity to say his own good byes. (That's really what the dog needs right now. Lots of loving. ^^)
Don't do it until you know it's time. Strangely most dogs will give you a sign or a look. So you know when is the right time.
No one should have to handle this type of situation but it's something we know will happen in the backs of out minds when we first get that little ball of fur. We just don't think about it until it happens.
I give my condolances and my email for any assistance I can give. [e-mail]
Good luck, hope this helps,
~Manda

Answer 2

I know this is a hard situation that you are in, I have been there with my kids as well., but I found the best way to do it is to be honest with your son. you stated that your son understands that you don't want the dog to suffer....this is good it shows his maturity, it doesn't mean that he will not cry or be upset. when the time comes you should let your son say goodbye, it will give an ending to the life he shared with the dog. and with that closure will come healing for him...it will take time, but with each passing day it will hurt less.
I hope this helps, it brought tears to my eyes remembering when I had to do the exact same thing this past July.
best wishes...

Answer 3

You have done the right thing by keeping your son informed. However, when the time comes I don't think he need be a part of the process. It is traumatic for anyone let alone a child. Best to keep up the dialog about the dog's condition and one day when it becomes evident that the time has come you need to make the journey. May a little memorial service with your son will put closure to the event. I aalways like to put a favorite toy by the gravesite so that may be an idea. Good luck.....this is tough

Answer 4

Well firstly, don't lie to your son. Secondly, since you've already spoken to him about him the situation, try having a serious talk with him explaining that it would be selfish to let the dog suffer in pain. Thirdly, I think its best if you ask your vet to explain what happens to the dog after the injection has been given. It doesn't hurt the animal in fact, they usually just close their eyes and breathe out and then its pretty much over. I've stood by three times with elderly and cancer infected dogs, and I must say I was better prepared to handle the loss because I was told what to expect and I was given a chance to say goodbye. Don't drag it out too long, he and the dog will suffer more.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, your son and your doggie.

Answer 5

Spaniels seem to be prone to seizures. I know of many cockers who were epileptic. So the vet never found a brain tumor? Was the dog put on any medication for seizures?

13 isn't super old, but she's definitely no longer a spring chicken and it may very well be nearing her time to go. The only advice I can give you is that of my personal experience and feelings. When I was about 8 years old, the family dog that I'd grown up with (a poodle mix named Bobby) had to be put down. My dad was only going to take one of my older brothers with him, but I asked to come....and he let me. I got to stand there and pet Bobby while he went to sleep. I got to say goodbye right there. He had my dad, one of my brothers, and me all there with him. And that somehow made the whole thing a bit easier for me. That was one of the 4 times I've seen my dad cry in my entire life (and it was the first time I'd seen it, as well).

I think your son is old enough to be there if he wants to be. Just talk to him about it. Being there to help her pass on peacefully might make him feel better about the whole situation.

I do have a son.....when the time comes for one of our animals to have to be put down, I will encourage him to be there. If he doesn't want to be, I won't force it....but I remember how much it helped me cope.

Good luck and God bless.

Answer 6

I know it's hard to cope with the situation and I'm sorry for your pain and confusion. Your son is old enough to understand the situation, so just explain it to him. He'll grieve, but that's ok. You can both grieve together, and be there for him. Do not tell him a lie, which will only come out in truth later in life. It will help him heal better knowing the dog will only suffer if time prolongs. God's blessings to you all.

Answer 7

I went through a similar experience years ago when my beardie had to be put to sleep and I would say you have to let your son say goodbye. Both my sons were teenagers at the time and it was very important to them that it not be done behind their backs. They needed and deserved the opportunity say goodbye to their dog.

It will be heartbreaking for your son but I believe he needs to say goodbye. I had the vet come to my house because it's easier on the dog. If that's an option for you, your son might like to be there - that way he'll know for sure that his dog didn't suffer, there was no pain, she just went to sleep. That might be too much for him, but you know your son best. Mine wanted to be with their dog. I'm very sorry for your family's pain.

Answer 8

Tell him before you take her. That way it won't be such a shock. Maybe you can have "one last weekend" with your dog so that everyone can have a chance to say goodbye. Ask your son if he wants to go with you to the vet. He's old enough to decide how he wants to handle it. We had to put down one of our dogs a few years ago and it was heartwrenching but the best thing for her. Good luck to you.

Answer 9

I have 3 children and they are about the same age as your son,,, Yes if it was my kids and dog then I would let them say their good byes to her... To me that would be the same as a best friend dieing and someone telling me that i can say my goodbyes to her or him... Im sorry to hear about this about your dog I understand how it feels like I had to put a dog down and it tore our families hearts out but time heals and down the road look at getting another dog,,, im not saying it will replace the dog your putting down but it seems to help the healing prosses... I hope this advise helps and good luck

Answer 10

Please don't underestimate your son. Ask him what he'd rather do. He's not too young to appreciate the circumstances you find yourself in...or to sympathize with the dog and consider her quality of life.

I have a 10 year old daughter who has kept several ferrets as pets for years (in addition to a black lab and a "watch-cat"). This past summer one of the ferrets was diagnosed with a tumor. Since he wasn't in distress, we brought him back home to live out his last few weeks with his companions. Two weeks later we discovered that, while his impish spirit remained, the tumor had started to press against his spine and he was unable to move his hind legs and his appetite was pretty much non-existent.

When I told my daughter that it was time to let him go, she balked, even though she knew that this day was coming. She slept with him in her arms that night insisting that there was no way we were going to take him to the vet. So, the next morning I called our family vet and asked her to come to our house to do the deed.

She arrived that afternoon. She dimmed the lights, wrapped the ferret in a heated towel then injected him with the fatal+ and handed him to my daughter. She spoke lovingly to him, stroking his fur the whole time and, when it was over, the vet took him away to be cremated. I'll stop short of calling it a "pleasant" experience, but it was infinitely better for her (and the ferret) than A) coming home from school to find that he was gone (I've done that before and she didn't speak to me for two days) or B) falling apart in the vet's office.

This experience, as it turned out, was the best possible scenario for my daughter and myself. That's not to say that it's the best one for you...but I urge you to not just consider your son in all this, but to actually INCLUDE your son in the decisions and the aftermath.

Peace to you and yours.