How do i cheer up?

Question

Need some help, i've been on such a downer for a while now.

It's 5 days till my 23rd birthday now and i'm sat here feeling like i've screwed everything up, 23 years and it's like i've never achieved anything, missed out on loads and have nothing to look forward to. I've already told anyone who asks to give some money to charity rather than get me a present and am planning to just stay in over the weekend.

I just don't know whats up with me, i'm pretty smart, have a fairly good job, a great brother and sister who always look out for me, am pretty good looking and have great friends who have never held any of this against me. So why do i feel like i'm a useless nobody who's missed out on something, it's starting to turn into a vicious circle now where the more i'm on a downer, the more it affects everything else and the more it does that the more of a downer i'm on etc etc etc.

Anyone got any advice?

Just had a friend spot this and email me, she says i should add what i've been through over the last few years, thing is, it feels like that doesn't bother me at all, could it be affecting me subconsciously?

Answer 1

Depression is always a bugger to get out of, the more you think about it the more depressed you feel...

Erm... well, avoid alcohol, the answer isn't at the bottom of a bottle... although sometimes a worm is (tequila).

Try and think of something you've always wanted to do, maybe you feel your 23 and your in a rut, try something different, new career, new sport anything that gets you out and about...

In short, try something completely different.

Answer 2

Yes, you are having what is normally called "self evaluation", you feel as if you havent done enough, dont have enough, havent lived enough, but.... there is the perfect answer...here it is. Start small, call one friend who you have heard is having trouble, let them talk to you, try to take them to lunch, and listen to them, let them cry on your sholder and try as hard as you can to just be supportive, give them a hug and go. Clean out your closets and chests of drawers and take all of the clothes you no longer wear and give them to someone that doesnt have much money and would really enjoy them, if you dont know anyone, take them to charity like Goodwill. Take one day a week and volunteer an hour or two at a retirement home handing out books, or teaching patients how to draw or paint, dance sing or what ever you know how to do. Call an elderly neighbor and ask if they need anything at the store, or need their dog walked or car washed. I absolutly guarantee that you will no longer feel down. I felt that way also and was given these tasks, I am now 49 and am happy and fullfilled because I have discovered... the less it is about me, the better. The more I help people that are truly in need with no expectations of even a thankyou the more true joy I experience. Give it a try, what could it hurt? It is so easy.. I took all of my old magazines to a nursing home to start, then it was fun figureing out who I could help, I would love to have feedback to your success...

Answer 3

It sounds as though you have mild depression. Some types of depression are not caused by your circumstances, just chemicals in your brain, bringing you down. It's an illness just like any other illness. Go to the doc who will give you some pills which you will make you feel more positive about life. If you don't do something about it you could spiral down into serious depression.

Although it might not seem like it to you, when you are as old and as smelly as me you will realise that at 23 you have only just begun your life. Most people haven't achieved much at that age. Your whole life is ahead of you and you still have time for a few experiments which may turn out to be false starts. It doesn't matter!

I hope your life turns out to be fulfilling, wonderfully stimulating and a full of laughter.

Answer 4

Reading the last part of your question,you could very well have delayed reactions from whatever has happened in the past.
You don't need everyone telling you to buck up your ideas,you need some T.L.C.
Sounds like you've got a pretty good family/social circle.
Find someone you can really depend on,a person who won't go telling stories,and get things of your chest,no matter how trivial they may be.
You are still very young,and you've got your whole life to enjoy.
Don't sit indoors and dwell on things,as this will only make you feel worse.
Get your family and friends together and have a really good p**s-up.
You may find this is what you need.
Have a Happy Birthday,and try to keep your chin up.

Answer 5

My life didn't start to turn good until I was 24. Its natural to start to feel a bit down as you get older, it happens to the best of us. I'm now 27, and have a fantastic life, but still feel a bit down from time to time - normally for a few days at a time. But it was worse before things started to get better.

I'd advise a bit of light exercise - really helps you feel better - just a half hour brisk walk or jog can do the trick. And try doing something positive - tidy your room, wash the dog, anything like that.

If you want anyone to talk to, feel free to get in contact - I'm not a counsellour, and I don't have all the answers, but I do have a job where I need some counselling skills, and I like to talk to people.

Remember, you've got it good, lots of people would give up everything to be like you - so stay positive, sunshine!

Answer 6

It sounds like you are having a personality crisis. You are starting to question things but this can turn into a positive thing. Maybe it's your conscience telling you that the life you are living isn't the life you were meant to lead.
What you must also remember is that there is so much pressure on young people to conform. To wear trendy clothes, to date girls, to gossip, to make money to get a mortgage to work hard i could go on all day. But you musn't follow the pack if you feel like you don't want to. Remember your destiny is in your own hands. You are not a useless nobody. Maybe you are just a person who is a little deeper than the rest. This can be a good thing. there are lots of deep people out there who want something more out of life but they don't wear a label.
Remember that if this really gets to you there is councelling available and many councellors have finished the journey that you may be just starting, so they will empathise with you.
Good luck. :-)

Answer 7

everybody has times when they feel bogged down a bit, its not uncommon, for some people it lasts a couple of days and for some it can last for years, but its important to remember its just a phase, even with the serverest of depression it really is only a mental problem rather than a material problem as the beholder may think it, instead of thinking of your flaws try thinking of everything you have going for you but in depth, you may have a fairly good job, but how exactly do you contribute , what are your merits as a worker - doing this will help you realise what your strengths are oand hopefully help you recognise your weaknesses so you can improve them and feel happier about your self in general. another thing which may help is to just take a break from everything, your job even you family and partner - everybody needs me time and as we get older it becomes harder and harder to have your own space let alone the time to do so. also visiting the doctor may help, i know it sounds scary but as you say it can be a vicious cycle and there are only so many time we can be knocked down before we need a little help getting back on your feet.

good luck and god bless

Answer 8

If you have been through some tough times in the past, it could well be affecting you subconsciously. it could be making you feel a bit down. However, in a way I can relate to what you are saying as I am a similar age and often feel similar to what you describe. I know it sounds a bit cheesy but Always thought there would be more to life than there is. I also think your early twenties is quite a difficult age because you are trying to find your feet in life a bit and its weird. If you want to email me to chat I'd be happy to talk a bit more.

Answer 9

well, it does seem that you are feeling really down about something. I am actually also around your age, and I did feel like you sometime back. I also had a good education, great family, and a great job.

I used to feel that I needed a real love life, to get things back on track, but somehow I felt it wouldnt help me much. So I began looking back on what I used to do in my happier days. I didint miss out on anything, just that I wasnt looking hard enough.

I hardly told the people around me how much I loved them. First mistake. When they were far from me , I felt it the most.

Secondly, I took up something, I has left out for a long time, art and music. Please believe me, that there are somethings in your past that can cheer you up..

I know what you are going through, I wish I could help you. Wish I could show you how much there is to this life.

And please believe me, that you are much too young to give up now...

Answer 10

Birthdays can sometimes bring on period of reflection. Take up a hobby or do a sky dive or a trek across the dessert for charity or do a course. Its sounds like you have a lot things to be grateful for. You are only young you have got lots of time to do something. Don't stay in on your birthday do something different that you have never done before. Its probably just the boredom of routine getting you down doing the same things everyday, be spontaneous, easier said than done I know. Chat to your friends they might have something they want to do but have never done and maybe you could do it together.