if you really liked someone but the sex wasn't great at the start of a relationship, would you stay in the ralationship or get out. does sex get better the longer you know someone.
2006-10-25 01:27:18 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I personally would stay in the relationship, but sex isnt the most important thing to me.
2006-10-25 01:28:30 · answer #1 · answered by ~*~Jeni~*~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as the quality of the sex in the beginning, that can depend on quite a few things:
1-Have either of you just got out of a long term relationship in which you may have been used to the way it was with the other person? (It can take time for new things to become the norm)
2-Even people who are supposed to be together don't always "get it right" the first time. It takes time (and sometimes more than just the first time!) to learn eachother, your likes/dislikes......the better you know someone, the better the sex can be!
3-Have the two of you been together long enough to establish a solid, concrete foundation for what your relationship is before having sex? Basically are you sure your in it for the right reasons. It may not have seemed like "good sex" if you weren't really mentally/emotionally ready to take that step with this person yet.
4-And it very well could be that you just didn't "jive" physically the first time....unfortuneately that can happen, but there are ways to improve it....time and practice! LOL and open communication.
But seriously, if you really like this person and feel that they could be or already are a very important part of your life,- that they can give you the love, support, friendship, fulfillment, respect,- that you could be happy, healthy, secure with this person....then no, I wouldn't advise giving all that up for the sake of the first time not being so "mind-blowing" People can find empty mind blowing sex anywhere...some people never find a full, rich and healthy relationship.
2006-10-25 08:54:07 · answer #2 · answered by secret_oktober_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how much importance sex is to you in a relationship. If there is little sexual attraction,or stimulation occurring when together, and you want that to be on an equal level to the amount you like the person, then move on,politely. Don't tell the person they are a lousy lover, because the opposite could be true when they are with someone else. Different strokes for different folks. What doesn't turn you on, may get someone else overheated. So just blame it on lack of chemistry and you are more correct and less hurtful to the person's pride and confidence. If however, you really love this person,and you even enjoyed it a little, give it time unless you're planning to get married after the first date. Most problems with bad sex, lies in the fact that most people have sex before they even know anything about the person or have had time to be comfortable with the person. I use to think it was me, when I couldn't get it up, but soon came to realize that it was because I was trying to perform passionately with a total stranger, and at a certain stage in ones life, those type of excitements dwindle and you want something of more quality and depth. Try a different position, more lubrication or less lubrication, extended foreplay while clothed and then more as you slowly disrobe, to heighten your sensual emotions , before the main attraction. Sometimes you're in such a hurry to get the prize, that you forget to by the ticket.
2006-10-25 08:42:46 · answer #3 · answered by mainah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the easy part of the repair department...of course, as u get to
know someone things can be more easily changed if u r both willing to discuss more creative ways to spice things up but if i only liked the sex then i would have to go...also could jus be the nerves of a
new relationship making the sex seem bad...the person may be very nervous about performing a certain way and making it worse...guess what i'm sayin is it seems like the interest is there...
i would hang with the relationship since it is much harder to find a
person u r mentally compatible with and see if it doesn't turn out
to be more...sex can be learned later
2006-10-25 08:40:17 · answer #4 · answered by des 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How much do you care for this person is the first question you ask yourself. The second should be how important is sex to you.If it is an important issue for you try telling him what you want.Also ask yourself if all of his other great attributes outway the sex side of the relationship. If you still are not happy with the sexual side of the relationship then decide what to do. If it is that important then you should let him move on to another relationship before he gets too invoved and you will hurt him less. Earlier is always better
2006-10-25 08:35:42 · answer #5 · answered by movingal234 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is more like a bell curve.....it can be poor at first as neither one of you wants to open up your fantasies to the other for fear you would offend them....
Then it reaches a high point.....6 months to a year later.....where you have tried new things and feel comfortable with each other.
Then it bottoms out as the attraction gets old....maybe 2 years later....and this is the worst sex of any relationship.....explains why people always cheat after that 4-5 year range.....
2006-10-25 08:31:41 · answer #6 · answered by Judy the Wench 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally am in a relationship where the sex wasn't all that great to begin with, but yes it did get better with time and with the emotions that grew inside of us as well (emotional feelings, not just sexual lust), but really sex isn't everything, so think about how you feel about this person, not just how good they perform in bed.
2006-10-25 08:30:33 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO it does not. IF you find it a chore or a bore in the first place, why do you think it will get better,it gets worse BELEIVE ME!! Just tell him the chemisty aint there and save yourself, dont deprive your self of a hunk that could just walk into your life at any moment. He could be waiting round the corner ready to sweep you off this earth!! Dont settle for boring sex,that is a BIG MISTAKE LOVE.
2006-10-25 08:30:32 · answer #8 · answered by london lady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
while sex can get better after awhile together, when you know your mate better, bigger connection, there are some times (sadly) where the sex is just NO good. in this case, i say get out. unless you are willing to teach them what you like or put up with it. but i believe some people truly are helpless and not on the same sexual chemistry "level." and that is NO good. :(
2006-10-25 08:34:22 · answer #9 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you like someone, stay, it is a bit unfair to say ' ok, you were crap, there's the door' the first time! Maybe they were just nervous - maybe they had never done it before, and didn't like to say! But there is more to a relationship than sex,, so give it a chance
2006-10-25 08:29:48 · answer #10 · answered by rose_merrick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋