Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 8 years and are getting married next spring. But lately he has totally losses interest to have sex with me and told me he's not in the mood whenever I give him the "look".
To my horror, I found out that he has been jerking off while surfing porn site. Is this normal? I'm confused and I'm not sure if we ge married.
2006-10-25 01:13:31 · 6 answers · asked by KelO 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I went through this situation before with a previous partner (we were engaged too). Here's the main questions that you have to ask yourself: Is this something you can live with?, and is he totally replacing you with porn?
If it isn't something that you can't live with now, then chances are that it's something that you won't be able to live with in the future. However, is it a normal behavior? I would say yes, as long as it is an occasional thing. If it's all the time, that's when it becomes obsessive and potentially dangerous to the relationship.
Personally speaking, my ex was (and probably still is) porn addicted. I mean I would go take a shower and the first thing he would do is flip on porn. We were in therapy together for it for four (grueling) months, and I finally just broke and said that I couldn't deal with it anymore, it was damaging my self-esteem in such a way that I never thought possible...especially when I saw that the girls he was looking at weren't even pretty!! Just the same manufactured implants and fake orgasm sounds. I have a really high sex drive, so when he didn't want me (like, EVER), I pretty much lost it and realized that I didn't want him a part of my life.
Other boyfriends that I've had who use it sometimes, but would much rather have sex with a real, live person (me), that is much easier to handle.
Perhaps your boyfriend's use of porn is an expression of something else wrong in the relationship, and this may be why he's disconnecting. Try talking to him about it, without getting upset or telling him he's wrong or terrible and all of that. Ask him why he's pulling away from you - it may even be something surprisingly easy to fix.
And don't let it get you down about yourself. Even if you're perfect, or far from it, you're still yourself and beautiful inside and out. Remember, even the sexiest people deal with this same issue...I wouldn't be surprised if the partners of pornstars watch other people in porn, lol.
Good luck to you!
2006-10-25 01:31:01 · answer #1 · answered by vanessabfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-07-19 19:24:47 · answer #2 · answered by Diane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is, but even still I would knock it on the head. Talk to him not at him and ask him seriously why it is that hes able to tug off over a website and not do the real thing. Ask him if its because he finds you unattractive etc....the aim is to get the truth find the problems and then find a solution. But remember once you've found a solution you can't go back and reference point the argument, if hes still doing it its a new argument with the old promises that need readjusting. Hope it made sense as well as helped a bit. Good luck
2006-10-25 01:24:49 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes... this is very normal. He probably has a higher drive for the "LUVIN" than you and thats why he goes to these type of sites. Its really not a big deal. Now if you catch him with another chick...Then you need to cut him in his face...!
2006-10-25 01:21:22 · answer #4 · answered by oppsupsideurhead 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs help hon. You need to talk to him about his addiction. It is not a healthy way to start off a marriage. Seek couseling for him if he is willing.
2006-10-25 01:22:18 · answer #5 · answered by kyrie_eleison_gr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would think that he would want the real thing i do everyone likes porn but god
2006-10-25 01:20:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋