Am I doing this stepmother thing right? Views from people with step parents appreciated.?

Question

I view my future step son as a real person, and a good one at that, who tries very hard for people to like him. And he's a smart kid. I tell him that I think that. I also let him know I care about him. I try to enforce his father's (My fiance's) rules. If he does something bad, I go with what his father says is the correct way to handle it. And his father has the final word on everything. If I don't feel the punishment is right, then I bring it up with him and not our son. I also try very hard to remember to support his son, and make him feel like he can do right. Am I doing this okay so far?

Step-son's mother is still somewhat in the picture. I've only seen her four times in the two years that I've been with my fiance. Once the first year, and then this year she's tried a little harder to come see her son. I don't know what to think about what he says about his mother. He tells people around town that he's not with her because she forgot to feed him, and once he told us that he wished she wouldn't come visit anymore. I don't want him to have to deal with that. He's too good of a kid.

Answer 1

ive had two different step-moms, so let me give you some tips!! i think it's very important to treat him like he were your own. I always hated just feeling like my dad's kid instead of just having parents. Having a step-mom was cool in some aspects like its good to be able to get an unbiased opinion, but still an adult and parent-like one. So, know when to be parental like without trying to take over the role of a mother, be a friend and a comfort, and treat him the same all the time. be true to your word... even when it comes to punishment. just stand behind whatever you do.... it sounds like you're doing great, good luck!

-tmac

Answer 2

Sounds like you are doing well. My mom got married to a man with 4 sons when I was 10. I never knew my real father as a child, so I was very accepting of my new dad. We have a great relationship even today, and he always made it a point that I was his daughter not his step-daughter. It was different for my brothers. Their mom was still in their lives, and had left them when they were younger. My mom tried so hard to be loving and do everything she could for them, and show them that she would not walk out on their dad and hurt him or them. But they have always rejected her. Its really sad. Be proud of yourself for how well you are doing. Be sensitive to whatever their situation may be, but dont take it too hard if they dont call you mom or welcome you with open arms. Your future step-son is already partly raised, and may or may not have the influence of his mother still. For me, my step dad wasnt replacing my father, because I never knew him. Its different for kids whose other parent is still present in their life, and they secretly are bitter and perhaps even hope that their parents will get back together. Good luck, and pat yourself on the back.

Answer 3

It sound good to me I have raised to stepsons
and the are so grateful. They sometime treat me better than they do they own mother. But yes I would say you are on the right track, always show your stepson that he is love wanted, appreciated, also respect his father wish for punishment, but if you think that the punishment is to hash, than yes talk it over with the father.

Answer 4

Im a step mom and yes what you are saying is excellent, keep up the great work

Answer 5

so far yes
also help him with home wok wen u can
dont b afraid to admit u dont know something
or if u r rong
some times u have to let him make his own mystakes
good luck

Answer 6

Sound like you are doing great.