This will be hard to fit into few characters,maybe reading a previous question may help.Recently my relationship with my mother has disintegrated while her relationship with her moron partner flourishes even though he does such contemptible things to her e.g. sleeps with her sister,registers with dating sites to meet other people,accuses her of cheating,steals her money,has hit her & constantly intimidates her,sleeps with his ex wife & takes her on holiday to USA (!),doesn't help with her bills & lives at her home rent free,he doesn't have a job & doesn't help with chores.I always considered my mum as my best friend,all I ever did was try to help her through a previous 10 year abusive relationship & I'm her own child yet I'm discarded as easily as a used tissue.She says she doesn't want to talk then sends sentimental texts & gifts.Am I crazy in thinking this is weird?I don't see what I've done to deserve it.I don't want pity,I want to understand why she messes with my head & feelings?
2006-10-24 07:40:10 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have also just found out from my sister who still lives at home with her that she plans to marry this man in November on her birthday like nothing has ever happened. I'm 19 so its not like I'm some spoilt little brat trying to break my mum & her partner up,I'd happily stay out of the way if she didn't keep getting me involved by texting & moaning about things to me.I live with my dad now but her obtuse actions cause us both distress (my dad has other children with my mum who still live with her). My dad has always been around for my mum but she even treats him like dirt. Why?
2006-10-24 07:43:48 · update #1
Mellisa R ~ Please get in touch, we obviously are in the same situation it would be great to hear your views on the subject ~ joey_anna123@yahoo.com.
This guy also makes sure he pushes all my mum's friends & family away so she has no-one. He hates my bother & sisters (and me obv) & is horrid when my mum isn't around but she doesn't believe us. His skank of a daughter also took £1,500 from my mum, but my mum turned a blind eye!!! I feel this is unreasonable behaviour but according to my mother I am wrong!
2006-10-25 00:12:13 · update #2
OMG. Are we related because it seems like the same thing that i am going through with my mother! please read melissa.r post. ne- ways, i basically am cutting off all contact with her. i can not handle the way she is choosing to live her life. and i dont have to. i have been available to listen to her complain and tell me how horrible this guy is - and now im no good because i dont approve of her marriage to him (which is happening 11/5) im only giving you this advice because this is what is working for me. it keeps me less angry. if a relationship in your life is corosive- you get ride of it. good luck!
2006-10-24 08:35:52 · answer #1 · answered by MELISSA R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom sounds like she has a real problem. Nothing that can't be fixed. Maybe suggest going to counseling together if she says no than just let her alone. She will figure it out then she will turn to you for emotional support. in the meantime try to not let everything she says or does bring you down. it's hard when it's your own parent. i know but remember family sticks together sit her down and tell her she is your mother you need her to be there for you in that sense. if there is any thing you can do to help youll try.
good luck and hope things get better
2006-10-24 07:53:12 · answer #2 · answered by Becky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your mother is a weak person. Unfortunately, there probably isn't a lot you can do for her. And being the child... (even if your not a child) it's really not your responsibility to take care of an adult who is capable (even if she chooses not to) enough to take care of yourself. Just do what you need to do to keep yourself happy and do not let your mother's own destructive behavior drag you down with her.
2006-10-24 07:44:39 · answer #3 · answered by Rebecca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think your mom is probably a lonely woman and strives on this relationship with this man and when he is around no one else is, i think she is consumed in him,may be you need to get solid proof for her to believe he is a scum bag and then maybe she will wake up and smell the coffee and then again maybe not there is alot of women in this world that let men walk all over them and be used as a door mat and they still think they are in love,I wish you luck but don't hold your breath waiting on her to dump him because she probably will not
2006-10-24 07:58:52 · answer #4 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't no how old you are but i am 52 my mom did me the same way when she remarried she just threw me away when i was 8 and just like you i couldn't understand i was her child i cant tell you what to do but i do no how you feel and your mother doesn't no what she is doing to you and the hurt and pain she is putting in your life ,my mom passed away 2 months ago and to be honest with you i really didn't feel like i even belonged there and i don't feel the hurt i should feel when you lose your mom but she did this to me years ago
2006-10-24 07:48:13 · answer #5 · answered by sclady62001p 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wash your hands of the situation for now, don't have any contact with her,it will be hard, but you are not crazy,sometimes people just take their problems out on you for no reason at all.Once she realizes her behavoir is NOT ACCEPTABLE to you, maybe she will realize what she has lost, it will take some time so hang in there.
2006-10-24 07:57:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother needs help. A therapist. That guy is a scumbag. That's why she messes with u.
2006-10-24 07:42:50 · answer #7 · answered by missgigglebunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋