HELP!! Why does my 19mth old daughter get up 2 or 3 times a night?

Question

She falls asleep on my lap at about 9ish and i take her to bed. She has started to wake up crying for me at least 2 or 3 times a night. It's beginning to annoy me as i'm 33 weeks pregnant and getting really tired.She won't have her dad see to her. Sometimes all i have to do is tuck her in again and she's fine, other times she just won't stay in her cot, she gets up as soon as i put her down to lie. Sometimes i'm up for 2 hours with her, always between the hours of 3am and 5am. I've tried cutting down her nap time at lunchtime, and giving her extra milk before bed. I'm running out of ideas what i should do next. She always used to go to bed from 9 until 8 for me, but all of a sudden this waking up in the night has started. Any tips or ideas would be really appreciated as with another baby on the way i want to sort this out asap.

Tried putting her down awake last night in her cot with her bottle, she fell asleep in 45 minutes! All on her own, well, i was in the room tidying up but she still went off on her own in the cot. She woke up twice in the night, once for her dummy and the second time i just tucked her in and stood there till she fell asleep in about 15 minutes. In total i was up for about 30 mins. I'm shocked it worked so well, hope it continues until i can eventually put her down and leave the room. Thank you for all your answers, very helpful indeed.

Answer 1

I've got 3 boys the youngest being 18 months and I'd start by giving your daughter a fixed bedtime say 7.30 and then put her in her cot with a bottle of milk instead of letting her call the shots and fall asleep on your lap. She might just be disorientated when she wakes and finds she's not on you lap anymore. Then when if she wakes just go into her dark room each time just say shh and comfort here but don't pick her up then return to bed she may cry at 1st but if you carry on this routine you will find she sleeps through.

Answer 2

She may be sensing that there are some major changes about to happen especially if she knows you are having a baby. That will make her clingy to you. I went through this with my son when I was pregnant with my daughter. As mean and it may sound the best thing you can do for your little girl is to let her fall asleep in her own bed and everytime she gets up put her back. She may not want her dad but he's should help you out with putting her back into the bed. It will be hard for the first couple of night but if you stick with it and just let her cry sometimes. I know it sounds mean but it'll really help her in the long run. Good Luck!!

Answer 3

cut the daytime sleep out totally, thats what I had to do at this age, falling asleep on your lap isnt the best idea, she would be much better going to sleep in her bed, she has developed the habit of falling asleep with you, so that what she wants in the night when she wakes.

I think you need to start puting her to bed wihtout falling asleep on you, it will be hard especially as you are nearly ful term, but its worth it in the long run. You have a few weeks til the new baby omes, you will be up with the new one, you certainly dont want to have your other one up too! Cos guaranteed they wont wake at the same time, and you are gonna be seriously sleep deprived!

So stop daytime naps, put her in her own bed, and get your partner up in the night with her for a while, you cannot let her demand you at night, the more you give in, the more she will do it.

Sorry if I sound harsh, but having been through this, and tried the above, it worked for me!

Hope you get her settled before the new baby comes.

Lozz xxx

Answer 4

It's to do with the fact that she goes to sleep on you. Imagine if someone took your pillow away whilst you were asleep, we all wake up for short periods in the night, usually we just go back to sleep and don't remember waking. If your pillow was gone, you would feel something is missing and wake up fully. When your daughter wakes up in the night, the thing that is missing is you! You need to re-educate her to go to sleep alone in her bed, then when she wakes in the night, nothing will be different and she will go back to sleep. There is a great book called 'solve your childs sleep problems' that will help you to implement a sleep programme, as this is not an easy thing to change, and may take a couple of weeks of hard work. I've also given you a link to a website that may help. Good luck!

Answer 5

I have 6 children .When they were small I went through that.What I did was if they woke up I would give then a bottle if they needed it did not turn on the light & do not speak.Sometimes it works I did not let them take naps in the day time.I think it would be better if you could put her in bed before she falls asleep .If she crys try to take no notice of her but stay around incase she gets to stressed.Dose she know about new baby?If she dose maybe she is worried you will love it more.

Answer 6

The way to short circuit it would be to have her in bed with you. It'll stop, you'll rest, everyone will be happier. I'm serious. When my second born came home, we put in a twin size bed next to the king sized bed and kept everyone together.

If we ignore that humans are primates, we can come up with all kinds of non-workable parenting solutions. Human infants and toddlers are biologically stressed by being apart from their mothers. Stress hormones fill their brains.

This is separate from what might be causing her to awaken at any given point in her development. Often times, during a cognitive leap, children will wake because they are so excited about taking things in. Other times, lots of good or bad stimulation can cause this pattern.

Whatever's going on, the best way to help is to mother like all the other primates, keep your young babies with you just about all the time, even when they're resting or sleeping. It's just how we evolved, it's kinda sweet really, and it works with the organism instead of against it, so to speak.

Answer 7

Some times babies really aren't sleeping well because they haven't had enough sleep...I know that sounds crazy but its true...if they are too tired they are restless...Try giving her a bath with the lavender bath...put her to bed at around 9:00 and no late day naps...try letting her sleep for about an hour around 12:00...Also...if you use a monitor....turn it down very low...I actually don't even use one...Babies have to learn to put them self back to sleep....if you go in there everytime she wakes, she knows you will come if she makes noise...give her a couple of days to cry...Not a long hard cry but a wimper....I have four boys...one of mine still wakes during the night...he is 8 months...but the others...I had problems with as well...

I learned that was the best method...turning off the monitor....it's hard to let them cry but it really is the best thing...in a couple of days she will realize you aren't coming and go back to sleep...Aslo, I ready once the a lot of times when they are crying they aren't really awake....they may be having a dream or subcontiosly think they are awake...as parents we go in when they start crying and actually wake them...

Answer 8

You need to put her to bed without her falling asleep on you. She has become dependent on you to sleep and when she wakes in the middle of the night without you, she doesn't know how to soothe herself to sleep. Start with a bedtime ritual. Do things that let her know it's bedtime. Brush her teeth, get her pj's on, read a story. Then say "night night" and put her down to bed and leave. The first few nights of this will be hard because she won't like not having her Mommy. But, you have to do this and be strong or you'll go nuts with having an infant to be up with plus her. My son didn't sleep consistantly through the night until he was about 20 months old. Now he is 30 months old and cries sometimes for a few min at night, but I ignore him and he goes back to sleep. If he cries longer, I know he must be sick and then I go to get him.

Good luck, be strong, and stick to a good routine and all will be fine.

Answer 9

I'm sure you love your little girl and want what is best for her, so as a mother of 4 (3 boys 1 girl) the oldest being 13. I don't wan't to sound like I'm lecturing, however your daughter should be in bed long before 9pm, and most definately not on you, or in your bed. Your on borrowed time being 33 weeks pregnant, she will raise holy hell at first but start off by less sleep in the day time play with her, wear her out, feed her a big healthy filling dinner and begin putting her to bed in increments of 20 minutes or so earlier, make it a good thing that she will look forward to, maybe a bath then a story, ease her into her own bedtime routine.. Do not give in, she will most likely scream and get out of her toddler bed(unless she is still in a crib) but that is why they made child gates. You do not need to close her door but put the gate up and say goodnite. 2 of my 4 did this to me except they never fell asleep with me,they just did not want to go to sleep, so when they got up they could not come out of their room, and I let them know I was still there, however they could do whatever they wanted on the other side of the gate,which usually ended in them falling asleep in front of the gate or finding something that helped them fall asleep, which is fine but bedtime is bedtime and it happens on the other side of the gate. DO NOT go over the gate or give in because if you do, you will have given her the power back as well as negative attention which you do not want to give. You also have to take into consideration that around 2 years old they go through seperation anxiety as well. They learn they are seperate from you which is a double edged sword, on one hand they begin to take on their own personality and start realizing that they can control certain things, but then on the other hand it hits them that this new control means you have a free arm here and there, which means they are seperating themselves from mommy, so if mommy likes bedtime at 9 then maybe little girl wan'ts to test the waters? Be strong, teaching independence is not easy, she'll figure out how to push your buttons so be ready, at the same time let her know this is not a punishment but a compromise so mommy has the energy to play with her the next day. She will find her path, and so will you. good luck with the new baby and your little girl.

Answer 10

Well, if you fell asleep in Mom's arms and woke up in bed wouldn't you fuss a bit? This is an opportune time for Dad to get involved with bed time. Have him snuggle and read a book to her and put her to bed awake & sleepy. It will take a few days or couple of weeks to get the habit, but with a new baby on the way you need to change things that you won't be able to do...

My husband was always better at putting our girls to bed when they were little than I was...they always wanted to snuggle and play with me more...it is hard to give it up, but for your own rest which you need more now than ever and for Dad to have some quiet time give this a try...Best of luck and wishes..