2006-10-23 08:02:12 · 5 answers · asked by leilis4 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Oh come on so many people have jokes to put on this category I thought I would have gotten more answers than that.
2006-10-25 05:51:53 · update #1
An old Italian guy wants to put a tomato garden in his back yard. But when he goes out to dig he finds the ground is too hard for him to break. He knows his son could help him. Only one problem: his son is in jail.
So he writes a letter to his son. "Vicenzo, I want to put a tomato garden in the back yard. But the ground is so hard and I am so old. I cannot break the ground. I know if you were here you would help me. But you are in jail. What can you do? I don't know what I will do without you. Love, Papa."
About a week later he gets a reply from his son. "Papa, don't dig in the back yard. That's where I buried the bodies. Love, Vicenzo."
Almost immediately, the police show up and start investigating the back yard. They tear up everything looking for the bodies. They dig and dig but they never find anything. Eventually they leave.
Two days later, the old man gets another letter from his son. "Papa, considering the circumstances, that was the best I could do.
2006-10-23 08:10:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
The Minister labored long and hard to deliver his Sunday sermon entitled: "Forgive Your Enemies." Toward the end of the service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"
80 percent of the congregation held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time except one small elderly lady.
"Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" the minister asked.
"I don't have any." She replied. smiling sweetly.
"Mrs. Jones, That is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety-Eight." She replied.
"Oh, Mrs. Jones. Would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world."
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said: "I outlived the Bitches!"
2006-10-23 15:16:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Who are you to make demands, you sound like the Queen of Sheba all high on your throne making demands of the royal jester. You shall receive no such satisfaction until you humble thy self.
2006-10-23 15:36:12 · answer #3 · answered by The Guy 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It is not commonly known that at CBS Headquarters there is a teakwood carving of Connie Chung in the lobby. It is affectionately referred to as "Chung in Teak."
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...There was once a Chinaman named Chan. He created beautiful teakwood carvings and sold them for a living, in his little shop.
...Chan opened his shop one day and found that a thief had broken in and had stolen some his teakwood carvings the night before. Chan was determined to catch the thief, whatever it took. As he looked for clues, he noticed a small set of human-life footprints. He decided to close his shop at the regular time, hide behind his counter and watch, thinking the thief might return that evening.
...Sure enough, after he closed his shop, he heard the door rattle, and in walked a bear with very small feet. The bear picked up some more of Chan’s carvings, and headed for the door.
...Chan jumped out from behind the counter and exclaimed,
“Ah-ha, so it’s you, boy-foot bear with teaks of Chan!”
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It is a play on words - So it's you, barefoot boy with cheeks of tan! Did you ever hear that story as a child? The barefoot boy with cheeks of tan?
2006-10-23 15:17:34 · answer #4 · answered by carson123 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ah-ha, so it’s you, boy-foot bear with teaks of Chan!
huh? I don't get it? Please explain..
err sorry never heard of that story before...
2006-10-23 15:23:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋