What are some really, really funny jokes? I mean like LMFAO funny!?

Question

heheheheehe

Answer 1

A bear and a rabbit were taking a dump in the woods.

The bear looks down at the rabbit and asks, "Do you have a problem with poo sticking to your fur?"

The rabbit replied, "No, not at all."

So the bear wiped his butt with the rabbit.

Answer 2

Lmfao Jokes

Answer 3

The attorney was spending his Saturday painting the front porch of his home, a wino walked up and asked if he could do something for a few dollars. "Sure," said the attorney, "Take this brush and can of paint and go around back and paint my back porch." After an hour the wino was back up front. The attorney stated, "Well, that didn't take you so long, are you sure you did it right?" The wino replied, "Yea, but you were wrong. That was a Mercedes not a Porche." The Jokes on Us, Houston Chronicle.

The bicyclist was riding across the desert on his way to Los Vegas, when a Corvette came by. The driver stopped and hailed down the cyclist, and stated, "It is too hot for you to be riding that bike. Put it in my trunk, and I'll drive you there." Well the bike would not fit. So the driver said, "Here take these bungee straps, and you can ride your bike while I'll pull you. If you think I'm going too fast, signal me, and I'll slow down." All was fine till another Corvette flew past. The driver couldn't stand it and put the pedal to the metal. At the local state troopers department, one trooper said to another, "I don't understand it. There were these two Corvettes racing, but the whole time, there was this guy on a bike signalling to pass them." My vet.

There was a lady driving a Jaguar and a gentleman driving a Porche. They collided. They both survived. Getting out of their cars, the lady stated how remarkable they both survived without a scratch, and preposed a toast with the bottle of vintage champange she pulled from her wreck. The gentleman agreed and took the bottle from her, uncorked it and took a swig. He then handed the bottle to the lady who promptly replaced the stopper. "Aren't you going to take a celebretory swig?", asked the gentleman. "Sure," she stated, "after the cops leave."

Answer 4

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
What are some really, really funny jokes? I mean like LMFAO funny!?

Answer 5

20 Ways To Confuse Trick-Or-Treaters:
1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.)
2. Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, "Trick or Treat!" Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.
3. Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, "Top Secret" in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, "It's about time you got here," give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.
4. Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, "Come in." When they do, have everyone yell, "Surprise!!!" Act like it's a surprise party.
5. Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what's wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural "whirring" sound.
6. After you give them candy, hand the trick-or-treaters a bill.
7. Open the door dressed as a giant fish. Immediately collapse, and don't move or say anything until the trick-or-treaters go away.
8. When you answer the door, hold up one candybar, throw it out into the street, and yell, "Crawl for it!"
9. When you answer the door, look at the trick-or-treaters, act shocked and scared, and start screaming your head off. Slam the door and runaround the house, screaming until they go away.
10. Insist that the trick-or-treaters each do ten push-ups before you give them any candy.
11. Hand out menus to the trick-or-treaters and let them order their candy. Keep asking if anyone wants to see the wine list.
12. Get a catapult. Sit on your porch and catapult pumpkins at anyone who comes within 50 yards of your house.
13. When people come to the door, jump out a nearby window, crashing through the glass, and run as far away from your house as you can.
14. Answer the door dressed as a pilgrim. Stare at the trick-or-treaters for a moment, pretend to be confused, and start flipping through a calendar.
15. Instead of candy, give away colored eggs. If anyone protests, explain that the eggs are the only thing you had left over from Easter.
16. Answer the door dressed as a dentist. Angrily give the trick-or-treaters a two-hour lecture on tooth decay.
17. Answer the door with a mouthful of M & M's and several half-eaten candy bars in your hands. Act surprised, and close the door. Open it again in a few seconds, and insist that you don't have any candy.
18. Hand out cigarettes and bottles of asprin.
19. Put a crown on a pumpkin and put the pumpkin on a throne on your porch. Insist that all of the trick-or-treaters bow before the pumpkin.
20. Dress up like a bunny rabbit. Yell and curse from the moment you open the door, and angrily throw the candy at the trick-or-treaters. Slam the door when you're finished.

Answer 6

I found this one good, so enjoy! :)

Adam was living the life. He had a great job, a six-figure paycheck and a beautiful fiance. The only problem was his sister-in-law to be(Kayla)- she was sexier, skimpier, and was always flirting with him. One day when he was alone at his fiance's home with Kayla, she came up to him and confessed her undying love for him which she could not control anymore. She said she wanted to have sex with him before he got married and so she took off her top and said she'll be waiting in her room. Adam raced to his car and was suprised to find his future father-in-law crying there. "Son," he said, "you've passed the test! We couldn't ask for a better son-in-law."

Moral of the story: Always keep your condoms in the car.

:p

Answer 7

You may not LYFAO but here goes:

The young bloke invited his mum over for dinner. During the meal, Mum couldn't help but notice how very beautiful his room-mate was.
Reading Mum's thoughts, the son said, "I know what you must be thinking but I assure you that Julie and I are just room-mates."
A week later, the room-mates discovered that something was missing. "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I haven't been able to find that beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
"Of course not. Mum wouldn't do that."
"Well, what's happened to it?"
OK OK, I'll write her a letter." So he did.

'Dear Mum, I'n not saying you "did" take a gravy ladle and I'm not saying that you "did not" take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, your son.

Several days later, he received a letter from his mum.

"Dear Son, I'm not saying you "do" sleep with your room-mate, and I'm not saying "you don't". But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love Mum.

Answer 8

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lmfao hahahahaah what a load of old **** lol they were **** lol not be nasty but lmfao its funny because they so **** lol haha o well need to claim down lol

Answer 9

a blonde is driving her suv down the road through a weat field. she lookes out the window and sees another blonde rowing a rowboat in the middle of the field. agrivated, she stops the car, jumps out and yells, "It's blondes like you that make us blondes look stupid! IF I COULD SWIM I WOULD COME OUT THERE AND KICK YOUR ***!

Answer 10

I get them. But still not funny at all.