a very close friend if mine was diagnosed a few months ago with herpes. SHe was very upset and questioned how she would ever be able to tell a guy without being rejected. I told her to just give herself time to adjust. Recently she started seeing this guy and slept with him after a week. She said it was protected and that her doctor told her she is only contagious if she is having an outbreak . SHe has never had a an outbreak as of yet. Anyway the point is that she never told the guy she has herpes and they are really hitting it off. I told her when she does tell him tell him she just found out. Still I think she was wrong not ot tell but Ido not want to judge. Who knows what anyone would have done in the same situation what do you think.
2006-10-19 15:50:18 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ STDs
Are you sure her doctor told her that? Because that is SO NOT true. Genital herpes can be spread whether the person is having an outbreak or not.
I got genital herpes from a guy almost 6 years ago, he was not on an outbreak when I had sex with him.
Also, my fiance (boyfriend at the time) got genital herpes from me about 2 months into our relationship. I hadn't had an outbreak in almost 2 years and I still spread the virus to him!
She NEEDS to tell this guy. It's unfair to him. He might be so upset she didn't tell him that he'll leave. But, if they have a good relationship and he really cares for her then he'll probably stay.
2006-10-19 18:33:02 · answer #1 · answered by Alli 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honesty is the best policy.... she is fearing rejection but also playing with someone elses health. there is something called viral shedding, which is when herpes is most contagious... this means you can be contagious without having an outbreak.... plus all the stupid ads on tv say that 1 in 3 people get herpes from their partner without even knowing they were having an outbreak. I feel very sorry for the guy she is with, he has a right to know, and should have been made aware of this before they got intimate. hopefully she can come clean and he will not catch it....
2006-10-19 17:16:02 · answer #2 · answered by littledrummergirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do NOT believe in lying, but in this case, it would be better for her to tell this guy she just found out than not to tell him at all. She is being very unfair if she doesn't tell him.
And tell her to use protection from now on. Starting right now.
Condoms and birth control, otherwise, she will be crying to you about being pregnant before long. Sleeping with a guy she only knew a week? She also needs to learn to have some respect for herself.
Geeze. When will young people learn that sex is not a game.
2006-10-19 16:11:44 · answer #3 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My doctor also told me you can only infect someone if you are having an outbreak. Good thing she used a condom. He probably did not catch it. She needs to tell him before they have sex again. If a guy really likes you he will not reject you because you have herpes. But he might if you hide it from him.
2006-10-21 06:49:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am absolutely terrified and I feel so alone. I just found out last week that I tested positive for hsv1 and 2. I have been with the same man for the past 10 years and within the last year found out that he has cheated on me with numerous women. I am so scared that I can give it to my children by kissing them and them eating with me...I feel like my whole life has changed. And even though the nurses, my doctor, and websites say that a lot of people have it I still feel like I am by myself. My self esteem has dropped and I feel like I have been used up. But now, My life is very happy.
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2016-05-14 18:38:57 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your friend. That's an awful disease.
However, it seems somewhat selfish to engage in sex with someone knowing you have the disease and not disclosing it to the partner prior. Moreover, starting a relationship by lying to him and saying "She just found out" is the foundation of a poor one. If the relationship comes to the point of marriage, she will be setting her future in the shadow of a lie.
If a man truly loves her, he will accept her as she is. The sexuality can be "worked around" with protected sex, etc. But, a lie involving something so intimate as sex is a sure sign of problems to come.
She should tell him and be fully honest about it.
Wishing your friend happiness.
2006-10-19 16:10:19 · answer #6 · answered by Robert 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She can pass the herpes on to the guy without even showing signs of it being active in her. He can then have her arrested if he gets it because of her not telling him. If I were her I'd take my chances and tell him. She should tell the guys right off the bat before they get the chance to do anything.
2006-10-19 15:53:44 · answer #7 · answered by pinkrosegreeneyes bluerose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can get herpes even if you are not having an outbreak. She was wrong for not telling him. It is aganist the law to have something, know it and pass it to someone else without telling them.
2006-10-20 07:31:24 · answer #8 · answered by altotazz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course she should have told him before she had sex with him. That is part of being responsible, being an adult and being sexually active. She could very well have given him herpes which he will have forever. She needs to tell him right away and they need to start using protection
2006-10-19 16:45:31 · answer #9 · answered by JHelper 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL I HAVE A FRIEND WHO HAS HERPES AN SHE NEVER TOLD ME IT ACCIDENTLY SLIPPED?AT FIRST I WAS DISGUSTED AND DIDNT WANT HER NEAR ME BUT I THOUGHT BOUT IT IM NOT HAVIN SEX WITH HER AND SHE IS STILL THE SAME PERSON! I DONT BLAME HER ITS HER PERSONAL BUSINESS AND PEOPLE CAN ACT DIFFERENT AND BE VERY MEAN!PLUS SHE MAY RUN INTO MANY GUYS WHAT IS SHE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE WHOLE WORLD? SHE SHOULD JUST USE PROTECTION ALL THE TIME!OR FIND A BOYFRIEND WHO HAS IT 2!
2006-10-19 18:05:33 · answer #10 · answered by CRAZY IN LOVE 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋