So my hubby gave me HPV. I know it was him because I have only had 2 partners in the last 6-7 years and I am tested regularly. I have already had 2 laparoscopic surgeries and us having kids isn't looking very good. I feel dirty and embarassed. I feel like a failure now because I can't give him the children that he has always wanted. I feel inadequate and like less of a woman. I have tried to be intimate with him but I can't bring myself to it. I'm not sure why or how to fix it.
2006-10-15 17:33:14 · 6 answers · asked by you can't be serious 1 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ STDs
A LOT of people have HPV. You are certainly not alone!
You shouldn't feel embarrassed or dirty, it's not your fault! He was the one who gave the virus to you, so why should you feel dirty or embarrassed?
I have had HPV for over 5 years now. I developed and successfully treated cervical cancer when I was 17 years old. I was scared to death I would never be able to have children! My doctors say I should be just fine though, I just might have to be on bed rest for most of my pregnancy.
A lot of women have to have a hysterectomy when they develop cervical cancer. As long as you haven't had to have a hysterectomy, there is always a chance you can have a child! And, if you can't have a child you can always adopt. Just because they aren't blood related doesn't mean you can't be a mother and care for a child like it's your own!
Good luck to you!
2006-10-16 04:37:05 · answer #1 · answered by Alli 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just wanted to clear up some misconceptions. When you say your husband gave you HPV, I'm assuming you mean an abnormal pap smear, not genital warts, right?
HPV is probably the most common STD. That's because most people don't know they are infected. It can lie dormant for years without causing symptoms. So, it doesn't necessarily have to be your husband that gave this to you. He had previous sexual partners, just like you had, and one of you was unfortunate enough to acquire this condition. As far as fixing the situation with your husband, I can't help but think that you place incredible blame on him. This is not a disease of promiscuity (it only takes a single encounter to be exposed) and considering the majority of sexually active adults are infected, it's actually harder to find a partner that isn't a carrier.
I'm very sorry to hear you are having difficulty in conceiving. I have never heard of someone with infertility problems due to HPV infections, though. Cervical surgeries (cervical cancers are caused by HPV) can lead to miscarriages, but I don't see how this infection could cause infertility. So even if you do blame yourself or your husband for this infection, I don't think this is the cause of your infertility problems.
You really shouldn't feel dirty or embarrassed. It is a very common condition (approximately 80% of women are exposed to HPV by the time they reach the age of 50). There is nothing shameful about this. And you really shouldn't blame yourself or your husband, much less feel like a failure for being unable to conceive. Like others have said, there are options out there, including in-vitro fertilization and adoption, to allow you to experience motherhood.
Please, get some counselling. Make things better with your husband. Neither you nor he have any reason to be ashamed. It happens to the best of people and most don't even know though they carry it. I hope you can forgive your husband (I truly believe there is no fault here) and I hope you guys make it through. Best of luck.
2006-10-16 04:57:38 · answer #2 · answered by roobs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he know that you got HPV from him? Why feel dirty and embarassed? It's not your fault, especially if it's from him. Did the doctors told you that you are definitely not able to have kids anymore? There are may infertility experts now, or maybe you still have eggs -- there are many ways now. I think you have to talk to him, communication is important.
2006-10-15 17:40:18 · answer #3 · answered by dee4dah2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing, the only thing I know is you have no reason to feel dirty, embarrassed or inadequate. But your husband should.
Try and speak to someone more qualified than us.
2006-10-15 17:36:26 · answer #4 · answered by Yellowstonedogs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are thousands of young children out there that need good homes..I know you would want to have your own but..There are so much pitiful little children that need a chance to experience a great life.
2006-10-16 03:51:02 · answer #5 · answered by Stunna 25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
adopt!
and you shouldn't feel less than a woman b/c it wasn't your fault that you can't have kids. you can thank your husband for that.
2006-10-15 17:35:34 · answer #6 · answered by mighty_power7 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋