Ex girlfriend called about HPV, I probably have it too.. What now ? I am so depressed.?

Question

OK, guys & gals, this is very depressing and confusing to me. Here is what happened : An ex girlfriend called me saying she had an abnormal pap and found out she has high risk HPV. She has not had any other boy friends after me and we know for a fact that if she has HPV she had it when we were together. I might have given it to her or if she had it first and I didn't it is very likely that I have it too now.

What exactly am I going to do about my future relationships now ? I would never ever NOT tell a future partner that I am more than likely Human Pappiloma Virus positive. But I feel like 99.99% of the pople out there will dump me or never even start a relationship with me after I tell them. I wish there was a test for HPV for males, but there isn't.

So is my love life dead forever ? Will I ever be able to have a relationship and be able to have sex without infecting someone with an STD ?This is an awful situation.

Any ideas / comments / personal stories ?
Thanks a lot

Answer 1

HPV is VERY common. It is one of the most common STDs today. It's good that you know it's very important to tell any future partners. HPV can be very bad for females! There is no test for males, and from reading your question I know you already know that. (I don't know why these people are saying go get tested, there is no test unfortunately for men).

You should have no problems though with your future relationships or sex life, don't worry! It's always possible that if you use certain precautions (like condoms) that you will not spread the virus to others. Even though condoms are not 100% effective, they are the best thing in preventing the spread of STDs.

I have had HPV for over 5 years now. I, not intentionally of course, gave it to my fiance (boyfriend at the time). When we first started dating I told him not only did I have HPV, but I also have genital herpes. So, it was like a double whammy for him. He still chose to stay with me though. He loved me and wanted to be with me no matter what.

Millions of people have STDs! You aren't the only one! I'm sure you will have no problem meeting girls and staying with them, even if you have HPV. Just let them know, and if they dump you for that then they probably weren't worth it anyway! Good luck to you!

***Oh, I just remembered this, there is a new vaccine available for HPV. The vaccine is called Gardasil and is made by Merck and Co. It protects against 4 different kinds of HPV. 2 kinds are known to cause about 70% of cervical cancer and the other 2 kinds cause about 90% of genital warts. I've heard it has so far had great results! Maybe when you do meet a future girlfriend, you guys can look into getting this for her!

Answer 2

You are right there IS NOT TEST FOR MALES unless you have an outbreak. It is detected in females by scraping hte cerix and getting the cells onto the pap smear slide. SORRY "EPXERTS" not a test available..... So, life isn't over anyway....
Just date girls that have had the vaccine. there is a new vaccine available for HPV. The vaccine is called Gardasil and is made by Merck and Co. It protects for 5 years and is available now. NOT SURE if it would do anything for males. Isn't being marketed that way...Hmmm I will ask the next salesman that comes from Merck...

Answer 3

I know exactly how you must be feeling. I am still grieving over my last relationship, which ended many years ago. No matter what I do, I can't stop thinking about him. I even decorated the whole house specially for us. I have many friends, but to love someone is very different. So I know what you are going through. They say that time heals all wounds. Yes, the pain is not as bad as it initially was. But if someone mentions his name, I start to cry. I do have many hobbies, and interests, and keep myself very busy, going out, doing things, even flirting sometimes. But the feeling of loving him never subsides. So how can I advice you, when I'm still not healed after so many years? All I can say is give it time. Do what you enjoy doing. We all have to move on, and hope that tomorrow is a better day. Take care :x "-"

Answer 4

it's sooooooo common. it doesnt cause much trouble for men, unless you get the warts as an outbreak but most people dont. HPV DOES NOT CLEAR ON ITS OWN, contrary to popular belief, it's a virus, and it's there forever. but, good news, most people do not have genital warts breakouts, and as long as women get yearly paps hpv can be managed, a vaccine should be coming out soon, but it will only be given to girls who have never had sex before, hang in there buddy you are sooooo not the only one dealing with this, there are so so so so many people that have this

Answer 5

Sorry, mate. But let me tell you something: You can take this as an opportunity to learn how to develop relationships in which you don't go for sex as the first item in the agenda anymore.

The thing is: whoever loves you in a relationship is going to have to accept it. And whenever you decide to bring it up, you have to make it clear that you're very aware that this is detrimental and that you're more than willing to work with it if she is.

So...go to the doc, first of all. And I assure you, there are ways to know if you have it.

Also, consider using condoms from now on, please. This is important since the risk of spreading the condition to other people is lessened if you wear protection (which you should have, but that's besides the point now).

Consider that your outlook on this is what will determine your result. Keep your head up. You're no less than anyone else. And don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. You deserve to be loved, and you have important reasons why this is so. Bring them out, watch who you love next, and remember to share: although not initially. Establish a relationship, not a *** buddy.

Answer 6

don't worry....HPV is very common. something like 1 out of 5 women have it. In most cases, it can clear up on it's own. You may have it, but so do millions of other guys. Talk to your doctor if you want to. But believe me....it's common and usually not a problem for men...can be for women sometimes. certain strains cause cervical cancer, but most strains do not and are harmless...it has no effect of being able to have children, etc. so relax....

Answer 7

Get to a doc, take the meds. At least as a guy, you don't have to worry about cervical cancer.
Do NOT have unprotected sex anymore, and preferrably not at ALL until after you have finished proper medical treatment for HPV.

Answer 8

Live a healthy life: regular exercise, avoid alcohol, caffeine and nicotine, eat a well-balanced meal.

Practice safe sex: wear prophylactics (condoms).

There are still people out there who will accept you as you are. If you are going to become physically intimate with someone, please tell them first, they deserve to be told the truth.

Regularly have physical check-ups and get a medical insurance.

Answer 9

Well, maybe first find out if you have it I think. Unfortunately it limits future relationships. Its probably unfair to expect somebody to catch it in order to be with you. Anything that wouldn't pass it is probably ok I think. If you pass it without warning somebody first, your karma will get you. Again, get tested first. Maybe be more careful in the future. Fewer and safer and trustable partners I think.

You may be mistaken about the test for males. These days I think science can test for any virus. They could do a culture and see if it grows.

Answer 10

First of all, don't guess. Get tested so that you really know.
Try to forgive each other, that will help you both 100tons more than trying to figure out who did what to who. She faced it and told you herself. That had to be super hard. If you can, help each other to face this. And you can, it is a matter of maturity.
If you don't have it, you will respect yourself if you are there for her, she must want that if she told you herself. Support her all that you can, be human, be a man. Put differences aside.
If you have it, you are fortunate in this way: in 1980, people knew nothing about STDs, and gay men started dropping, and there was no help, their friends amd lovers had to watch them waste away.
Now a lot more is known, and they can get your viral load down to undetectable in many cases.
Get antiviral medicine, and follow the regimen:take it.
A lot of it is rough, I have known a bunch of guys on interferon for hepC, and it is real tough, but it works.
If you have trouble asking for help, get over it, because you WILL need it. Not maybe, WILL.
If you hate gays, get over that, because they are your A+ source of information on this stuff, There is the Fenway Gay Men's Health Center in Boston that has it ALL!!!! So ask!!!
There is a magazine called POZ just for infected people.
Do not get depressed! It lowers your immune system!
I have battled depression all of my life, and have recently made much progress by actually applying "The Feeling Good Book," By Dr. David Burns. Your thinking makes you depressed, and it is distorted, unrealistic thoughts, such as "No one will ever love me," that do it!!
http://www.feelinggood.com
There are many people infected with HPV, and their ability to understand and empathize with another human is multiple times what the average person's is!!! You will NOT be alone or unloved, unless you fail to love yourself, first, because that is the only way that you are unlovable!!!
Take a very good multivite, and get a juicer andf drink FRESH fruit and veggie juice!!
http://www.vegweb.com
To date if pos (one of many sites):
http://www.lookbetteronline.com/onlinedatingsites/std_dating.html
YOU CANNOT AFFORD NEGATIVITY, IT IS A .45 BULLET TO YOU!!!!!!!
Vitamins (and check out nutriferon):
http://www.shaklee.net/naturallyyours the best!!!
I did not write this answer for points!! I wrote it to help you and her through hell back to life, to show you a path, and to be your friend, because others have helped me when I was homeless and on the street!
I want to know how you do, and what happens, and any more problems that you have, or you can cry to me, literally, and if I can, I will dry your tears!!
My email is :
[e-mail] and if I don't hear form you I will be thouroughly pissed that you missed the
message!!http://www.niaid.nih.gov/factsheets/stdhpv.htm
http://www.niaid.nih.gov/factsheets/stdhpv.htm
Love MUST be part of every day now, brother, make sure of it!!!! Positive or negative - love and care!!!!!!!! Thank her for telling you herself, for a start!!!
Love yourself and take care of yourself every day for the rest of your life, and then you can love and care for others, and no one could want more of a life than you WILL have!!!
I have cried most of the time I have written this, for me, for you, for her, for friends from memory...