I keep killing my dog and he keeps coming back!! It's really freaking my wife and me out?? I even buried him?

Question

Please help this is disturbing, my dog won't die!! I am being serious!! HELP ME! it is ruining our family!!

Answer 1

Did u bury him in, on, or near a native indian burial ground? If so you are out of luck.

Answer 2

Awwwww......he's only doing that because he doesn't want to leave you. Isn't that sweet?

That can easily be fixed, though. You have to do 2 things:

1. Make sure the sign says 'Cemetery'.....not 'Sematary'
2. You have to stay down there with him, buried, until he feels safe enough to stay by himself. That might take 3-5 days. Have a friend bury the 2 of you together (it's very important for the dirt to be firmly packed), then come back to check on you in a few days.

That should take care of the 'problem' once and for all......

:D

Answer 3

An undeath in the family is always a hardship, but it can be especially unsettling when it is the family pet. Alas, these occurrances are fairly common, and can be settled by a simple procedure, if executed thoroughly.

First, "kill" the undead creature again. I know, easier said than done, but you've done it before... just get it to stop moving long enough to take off it's head. For best results, use a silver knife, and clean the blade with garlic.

Be sure not to get any of it's blood on you or your family members... it's best to wear rubber gloves when handling undead waste. Be sure to cut out the heart next. Place a wooden stake through the heart and set it aside. You might want to completely dismember the beast for thoroughness. The smaller the pieces, the harder it is for it to regenerate before you have burned it. A meat grinder is a great idea... as long as you intend to never use that meat grinder for anything but undead meat!

And that's just what you do next. Be sure to keep the pieces far away from each other when burning so as to prevent regeneration. Be sure the beast is burned completely to ashes. You might want to roast it with some garlic for good measure. If there are any bones remaining, crush them into dust as well. Be sure not to breath in any of the dust! Wearing a resparator or mask while working with the ashes might be a good precaution.

Split the ashes into separate batches. You may with to mix them with mercury or silver with silver dust to prevent spontaneous regenration. At this point you've got several options for disposing of them. My recommendation is to mix them into cement of the foundation of a building or bridge, preferably the part that is below ground (or under water!) You could certainly go the traditional route and place them in a cemetary or bury them underground, but as you've seen in the past, that isn't always as effective as you'd like. Treat them as you would any hazardous waste material.

Whatever you do, do not allow the batches of ashes to be recombined, or to be intermingled with blood, or to be ingested or inhaled.

Good luck dispatching your undead pet!

Answer 4

Have your been reading Stephen King?! What to do is when he/she comes back, put it in a Havaheart trap and ship it to Botswania or Madagascar. If it comes loose on the boat, it can't swim across the ocean to you.

Answer 5

You've been watching to many Stephen King movies.

Answer 6

I guess I'd try cremating him, if that doesn't work get a pet tiger. That ought to at least keep him away. I'll have to admit, you have a rather odd problem

Answer 7

If you find a way, tell me. I have a rotten bloodhound that I would like to get rid of, except my wife says that she would rather keep the dog and get rid of me.

Answer 8

Have tried plastic bag over head and sealed with an elastic band

Answer 9

If your *** is hairy and pimply then your in luck just moon the dog at point blank ....and he will make his own grave

Answer 10

Maybe it is because you killed it, and is against the law, to kill an animal. You are getting your just deserve