whenever me and my boyfriend argue he always says im a bad mother and im lazy coz i only work three hours a day. My daughter is two so i only work part time at the moment so i can see her as well as go to work. i know three hours is not much but its all i can do at the moment. whenever i say im tired he always says why u have sat on your lazy **** all day. ive tried to tell him that running round after our daughter is a tiring job and i go to work as well.
it hurts me to here him say these things. should i go and get another job?
2006-09-28 21:45:20 · 38 answers · asked by REBEKAH O 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No you are not lazy, and you do not need to get another job, looking after a child, esecially a toddler is damn hard work, aswell as cooking, cleaning, washing and the rest of it.
Your boyfriend is saying what hurts you, all of us when we argue just want to hurt the person we are arguing with, and he has found your weak spot, most of us mothers, worry at some point about being a bad mother, and want what is best for out children, stopping at home to look after a child is the most important job there is, mothers are bringing up the future.
If he persists in this tell him to bugger off, and that if he doesnt like the way you do things he knows where the door is.
2006-09-28 22:18:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend like you! NO, don't go & get another job! Tell him to look after your daughter for a couple of days on his own & see how well he gets on with that! My god! I have a 2 yr old & she's a handful, I don't work as I have 9 month old twins aswell but being a mother is a full time job, don't listen to him, you're doing the best you can, that's all anyone should expect of you! My partner is very understanding & if he ever said things like that to me I'd get in my car & leave him alone with the kids all day cos he'd soon be begging me to come home!
Does your boyfriend lack self esteem?! If so it may just be that he sees how well you're doing & wants to make you feel as bad as he does! Just a thought!
2006-09-28 21:54:22 · answer #2 · answered by C Greene 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well... let me tell you a (true) story.
This was around 1987 and my son was 3. My (ex)wife 'always' complained all of the time how tired she was from chasing our son around and picking up after him. This was her excuse for the house looking like crap and chores not getting done. And she too worked part time.
One day my son got sick and she couldn't take off from work, so I did. That day, I cleaned the entire house. Did the vaccuming, made the beds, (throughly) cleaned both bath rooms, cleaned the entire kitchen. I pulled everything from inside the fridge and cleaned EVERYTHING (even the gasket). I also throughly cleaned the stove, emptied the garbage, wiped down the counters & cabinets, did the laundry and mopped the floor. In other words, no surface was left untouched. While doing this I also cared for my son, fed him, etc... I was finished with everything before noon and never even broke a sweat.
And when I put my son down for his nap, I too stretched out on the sofa, watched some TV and dozed off. I played with my son that afternoon and had a blast. It was good bonding time. I never once had to 'chase' after him of pick up after him. I made him pick up his own toys.
I realized that day of how much I had been lied to. Even watching a child is as hard as you make it, and I don't make things hard.
2006-09-29 05:00:11 · answer #3 · answered by Larry F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally i would get shot of this crap bf. What right does he have to tell u ur a bad mother??
If he was a decent dad and partner then he would bring home more money so you wouldnt have to work 3 hours a day to support ur child.
As for sitting on ur @rse all day, does he not realise how much time/energy etc etc it takes to occupy and teach a 2yr old child. Does he think she will be happy to sit in front of the tv whilst u clean the house until it sparkles....i dont think so.
Ignore the small minded pr1ck, sounds like ur doing a great job so dont let him put u down!
Rant over! x
2006-09-28 22:16:09 · answer #4 · answered by sweetfemaleattitudeuk2076 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The worst thing two people can do is compare.....point fingers and say I work harder, you don't do as much as me....that is not healthy, and until you can both compromise, it will only get worse.
Yes, you should be there for your daughter when you can, but in this day and age 2 incomes are better than one. Maybe he would consider helping out more with your daughter when he is off and you could work an extra hour or two just to offer more help. He needs to give a little to get a little.
2006-09-28 21:51:38 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't ever let anyone even your boyfriend accuse you of being a bad mother. He has no right wharsoever to judge you that way especially when he doesn't have any idea of what being a mother is. I think your doing a great job, working part time and attending to your daughter.
2006-09-28 22:10:20 · answer #6 · answered by Meeya 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he thinks its so easy then you are going away for the weekend and he can take care of your daughter instead of sitting on his fat **** for a change.I wud be out of there by now and I wud have told him if I am that lazy then he wont have to bother with me and go with my child infact I did when I had an 18 month old and was 10 weeks pregnant with twins .
2006-09-28 22:06:50 · answer #7 · answered by stephy200125 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably a crap father so by making you feel guilty in some way it might make him feel a bit better,
you should be telling him that if he was a better provider for his family then you wouldn't have to out to work because looking after a 2 year old is a job on it's own.
2006-09-28 22:41:57 · answer #8 · answered by magnoliamillie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to get a new job. Working at all and looking after a toddler is hard enough but living with a **** that only puts down on you makes you even more tired. I bet he comes home from work and sits on his butt watching t.v for the rest of the day but he can do that because your being silly enough to run around after him. Don't do his washing/ironing or tea and tell him to do it himself or find someone that will be his door mat.
2006-09-28 21:55:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Honey," a mothers job is the greatest job you can ever have, because it entails all the other jobs , A Mother is a teacher, a nurse, maid, cook, a beautician, a designer, a model (housewife, or should be) a judge, a defender and protector. so you`ve got all the jobs you need, just being a mother to your child. Tell your boy friend that : A mans job is from sun to sun, but a womans job is never done.
2006-09-28 21:59:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋