how do you tell your family and friends you dont have long to live?

Question

if you knew you were dying, and didnt have long to live, how do you break the news to your family and friends, and how do you get them to not treat you differently?

Answer 1

There are multiple factors, but in most cases, it is best to just tell your close family all the details, along with your wishes to be treated normally. It won't happen, but it may help some.

Your friends will need less detail, and some acquaintances may not need to know at all. If you have a "Living Will" make sure there are many notarized copies available. Everyone who might make a decision about your future care needs to have one in their possession. If you have a nearby hospital that you will most likely be using, file it with them as well. Ask your doctor about this. He can get the form for you. Do what you can now to make your financial wishes known. Draw up a will and a trust to avoid tax burdens for your family. Your family may not be equipped or knowledgeable enough about your finances to do this well, and you may be less able to make decision if you put it off.

I realize this is written as hypothetical. I pray that you do not need this advice. This would be tough news for my family, just as it would be for me. Give them a little time to adjust.

Answer 2

Hi

I am in a similar position. This is what I have found to be the best approach to the subject.

Just tell them the bare minimum. Then, let them ask questions. The purpose of this is that some people dont want to know everything while others do. They will let you know where they fit in by the questions they ask.

Plus, it gets monotonous repeating yourself.

You cannot tell them how to treat you. You have to let them be how they want to be. Just accept it and go with the flow. Trust me, they will treat you normally because they dont know how to act any other way. perhaps they will send flowers, cards, gifts, food, but is that really so horrible to endure?

Let it be. Let your friends be. Of course if one gets out of hand, have a family member take care of it for you.

You just be you. You are on your own path.

I will always remember what my mother told me as she was dying... "trust the process"

Answer 3

ASAP!!! I just lost a good friend to cancer she was same age as me 41 we grew up together through our teens and later years.When she got sick she told everyone that she was going to be fine and the docs said she was in full remission.LIES,LIES,LIES.She hid it very well until the last week then she was gone so fast,and I am so hurt that I didn't get to say goodbye or even visit her much and I only lived 5 miles from her,also her husband was so messed up and still is because he never really knew,It was her choice I realize but a selfish one and I so miss her and wish I knew if so I would of spent more quality time with her not pity,now I am left feeling hurt and angry and sad ,she was a great person to know,so please tell asap

Answer 4

My father was diagnosed with cancer at 40 years of age. He told Mom and my brother and myself. I was so grateful that he did. We were able to have talks about what he expected from each of us as we got older, he was able to get a will written up, change paperwork on vehicles, etc. so it was all easier on Mom. We got the house painted, tools put in order, his family was notified (they were all out of town & were able to come for a last visit). We were all told to treat him as we always had. No special treatment. He only lived 1 month after he was told by the Dr. but we made that month the best month we could and lived every day as though it was his last without letting him know we were making good memories.

Answer 5

My brother is dying from leukemia. He first told us when he was diagnosed and after the chemo and several set backs his wife let us know there is no hope.

It is important to let loved ones know what is going on because certain things must be resolved. Also, and very important is having the time to let your loved one know how much you love him and care for him. Don't let your loved ones live with regret, tell them.

Answer 6

The family needs to be told. Unfinished business in this life can be worse than the actual death of a loved one. We all want closure . We all need closure. It is akin to suicide when a terminally ill person refuses to tell the people who love them. Selfish.

Answer 7

They probable already suspect that you're gay, yet are in denial. You bringing it as a lot as them will reason large turmoil. in simple terms be discreet and careful and stay your existence once you get out on your individual. Accepting or rejecting might want to be as a lot as them, yet they could disown you, or thoroughly reject you from the relations, too. So be prepared for the more serious, and want for the perfect.

Answer 8

My father in law only told my husband that he was dieing and made him promise not to tell. he never told his sisters or brothers or mom. he did as his father wished. because his dad did not want them to change the way they acted and they would have. so some times it can not be done. But the person can make the changes them self so they have no regrets.

Answer 9

you would just have to come out and tell them then ask them not to treat you any different but they will treat you different any ways because they love you and will want to be around as much as they can just let them know if they are invading your space

Answer 10

I wouldn't.....but I would throw lots of parties or gatherings so we could spend more time together....I would kiss them and hug them everyday. But then again, If I were your family and you didn't tell me you were dying I would hate you for not telling me!