My fiancee is a pretty shy guy and doesn't have many friends at all. A few years ago guy at our workplace befriended him and they play golf together weekly. So, we are now making invitation lists for our wedding and my fiancee wants his "friend" on the list.
The problem is that I don't like his friend. He is a super religous freak and he won't bother with people who don't have money or connections. I think he latched on to my fiancee because he is a kind person who happens to make good money. He tells people that they aren't Christian and that they are going to go to hell because of various reasons (living together before marriage, children out of wedlock) There are so many other reasons I don't like this person that are too numerous to list.
Am I right or am I wrong? This person makes my skin crawl and my stomach turn. I don't feel that he should get to share in our day. Should I be adament that he not attend our wedding?
2006-09-28 19:22:00 · 14 answers · asked by LuvGrapes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Sad to say, you should put up with the creep. It's just one day, and as long as he's just a guest and not an attendant, you won't even have to deal with him.
Remember, this is your fiance's day too. No matter how you feel about his friends, they are still HIS friends. It would be the same if the situation was reversed, and it was him that wanted to exclude one of your friends. You have to make some sacrifices for the man you love, and this is just the first of many.
2006-09-29 03:29:56 · answer #1 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your fiancee how you feel about his friend. But the love that you should have for each other and the other factors that go into making a great wedding cannot be damaged by one man. If he makes a jackass of himself at the wedding by going around condemming people, that's going to be an embarassment to your husband, not you. But just expect that after you get married, your husband's going to spend just as much time playing golf then as he does now. If you get along with your husbands family/parents is actually more important.
2006-09-28 19:43:50 · answer #2 · answered by elthe3rd 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are right for feeling like you want to exclude him but wrong if you actually do exclude him. From my experience, my fiancee had a friend that was similiar to the one you mention. And one telling sign about those types of people is that they never hang around through hardships and difficult times. They are typically around for whenever good things happen to share in the fun. Not for the times when you need someone to hold your hand and walk you through life.
I say invite the "bastard", remain pleasant, and keep your distance. Because people like that always end up showing their true colors. He won't be able to help himself. And with you by your future husband's side he won't be able to pull the wool over his eyes for much longer.
Oh yeah....my fiancees' "friend" came up missing not too long ago. Never responded to messages and never called. He is an asshole!
2006-09-29 04:49:47 · answer #3 · answered by goldenlifev 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm with Messykat. Laura, frankly, feels like the style of individual who would not like sharing the spotlight - and that's by no skill a stable undertaking at a marriage. (i would not be shocked if there have been quite a few different, much less glaring incidents than the cake undertaking that have ticked your fiancee off, yet the two she stored them to herself till she only could not any further or you have been in a position to shrug them off because of the fact so a strategies as you're in contact, that's "only how Laura is.") notwithstanding, your fiancee isn't doing an extremely stable activity of selecting her battles, and with the help of issuing you an ultimatum, she's not basically directing her anger the place it would not belong yet placing a foul precedent for a fashion the two considered one of you will resolve further conflicts. She's additionally thoroughly ignoring the actuality that it is your wedding ceremony day, too. If I have been you, i might shop chatting consisting of your fiancee. tell her you comprehend she's disenchanted and you at the instant are not taking Laura's facet in this (or something, in case the cake corporation or the different previous slights arise), yet you're nonetheless uncertain how issues have been given from "nicely, if she desires to be stupid, that's her subject" to "OMG I HATE HER!!!" attempt and discourage her from making any judgements interior the warmth of anger; you at the instant are not sending out invites till April, so which you have the two have been given time to think of approximately this. in my opinion, i don't get why Guitarist Dude won't be in a position to accomplish on his own, so according to probability propose that to her as an decision besides and notice if it helps calm her down. As for Laura, furnish her slightly friendly advice: collectively as you realize a prefer for a chum isn't fairly an identical undertaking as a expert gig and it grow to be a mistake so which you would be able to invite earlier your fiancee unquestionably had a great gamble to take heed to her, she is going to proceed to be an undiscovered skills if she isn't keen to handle the folk she's supposedly there to entertain...and if she would not prefer to wreck that stable be attentive to mouth she relies upon on lots, an apology could bypass a protracted way. If she flips out rather...nicely, subject solved.
2016-10-01 11:57:48 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that's the thing; you just said it: "our day". I understand where you coming from, completely, but you have to take into consideration where your fiancee stands. You said that he's a shy guy, which leads me to believe that the friends that he does have are worthwhile; why else would befriend them? All I'm saying is that you shouldn't exclude this Christian high-roller from the wedding... just don't let him be the best man!
2006-09-28 19:33:39 · answer #5 · answered by Alyssa Dee 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can voice your feelings to your fiance, but if he is bent on inviting this weird person, you may have to grin and bear it. Remember, this guy probably isn't going to act up too much with so many people around, so relax. After you are married, encourage your fiance (husband) to find other friends and the two of you can start with couple friends and exclude Mr. Weirdo!
2006-09-28 19:25:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
if they play golf together weekly he is your fiance's friend. It would be rude to exclude him. You'll be so busy at the wedding he won't have much chance to bug you. Don't let this 1 person ruin your day. Pay attention to your groom and have fun.
2006-09-28 19:51:32 · answer #7 · answered by winkcat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
marriage is give and take. This is just the beginning of a lifetime of compromises - sorry. I like to think of it as: you pick your battles. maybe let this slide and bear it - not accept or like it - but bear it - and maybe when it comes to something more important to you - like the wedding colors - the baby's name, etc - you have the power to make that decision - since you let this slide. But since this 'friendship' occurred before you were married - let it go and save your decision power for big decisions down the road - just be sure to let him know you are compormising and letting him win this battle.
2006-09-30 07:05:59 · answer #8 · answered by Jackie P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can tell your fiance how you feel, but you cant keep him from inviting this person. that would be like him telling you one of your friends cant come and I dont think you'd be to happy about that. if you dont like him then avoid him that day. you'll be too busy with other things to really even notice hes there. my mother-in-law is very annoying, but I couldnt tell my husband we werent going to invite her. sometimes you just need to suck it up and go on as best you can. good luck with the wedding though and congrats.
2006-09-29 00:39:42 · answer #9 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a crappy situation to be in.i feel like being in a relationship is about compromise.i also feel that loving someone means putting up with some things we dont necessarily agree on or like.maybe for your husbands sake you could forget about how weird, annoying and opinionated his friend is and concentrate on everyone else you love that is there.dont let one person ruin your special day.if your husband wants him there then let him attend.its your husbands day too.
2006-09-29 00:07:45 · answer #10 · answered by J'sGirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋