This women and i have talked off and on for about 2 months,I like her but she has been hurt alot so she is very against men.I know if if i play hard 2 get it won't matter,i want to know if i should try to pursue her,and what i can do to prove i'm not like the men she has dated before...I don't want to bug her but i want to show her i like her without seeming like a psyco...
2006-09-28 17:47:46 · 35 answers · asked by angels and airwaves 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Be honest and (I know men hate this word, but) be her friend. A good way to show that you care and you're a good friend is to tell her if she ever needs anything to give you a call. Also, if she's having a problem, ask about it and LISTEN. This will open her up to you and eventually build her trust. A woman who has been hurt isn't looking for a relationship, but if she can find a man who is honest and that she can trust, she will let him close, more readily than a man pursuing her. If you pursue a relationship before you gain her trust, she is more likely to feel you only want one thing and that you will only end up hurting her. Once you've developed a rapport with her she will get close to you and realize you're a great guy and things can progress from there. Let her know that you care about her and that you want to be there for her (a true friend.)
This involves waiting until she's ready, so it probably won't be the answer you want to hear, but it's the one that will work. If you're really interested in her, then the wait is worth it and you will enjoy her friendship/companionship in the mean time.
2006-09-28 17:55:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a rare person alright. Glad to know that you wish to make progress with this relationship. Try to be her friend first, before anything else and do not expect anything in return - just be a good friend and after sometime, if you are really meant to be together, it will work out - believe me. If you really like her and want to progress, give it the time and effort a good relationship needs. You have to show her you are different, just by being a friend first. She has been hurt and that is something very difficult to get over. A lot of care and concern if the only remedy.
Good luck.
2006-09-28 17:55:19 · answer #2 · answered by aew2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep being yourself. Try asking her how she feels about what's going on between the two of you in a roundabout way if you can.The more she gets to know you the more she'll realize that you're not like the men who have hurt her in the past. You said you've been talking to her for the past 2 months, have you ever asked her out just for coffee or whatever??Nothing too much like a date, but just a lil hanging out time in which you can start to show her how you are different from other guys.
2006-09-28 17:57:30 · answer #3 · answered by yobaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your right, playing hard to get is not the way to go. I have NEVER been interested in a guy who wasn't interested in me. I'm a lot like this girl. Ive been hurt a lot too and anyone that knows me would say I'm against men. I have good reason to be and she probably does too. All I can say is that if she truly likes you, there is not much you can do wrong in trying to get this off the ground. If she doesn't respond then she's probably not interested in you for a long term relationship. You have to read her signs. Call her and make plans to get together. If its meant to be it will happen.
2006-09-28 17:54:59 · answer #4 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start off as being her friend. Maybe invite her out with a bunch of mutual friends or something. It will make it feel like less of a date and romantic thing which can scare her off. Once she sees you are a friend who has her back, she'll probably start opening her heart up more to a relationship. Once you see her putting her guard down more, try casually asking her out for a date. More than anything take it slow. She's been hurt and no one gets over it overnight. If you try to ask her out quickly, she'll retreat. Prove to her that she can trust you and she probably will eventually. It'll just take time and patience. Good luck!
2006-09-28 17:53:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing can cure a broken heart, so unfortunatly she'll always have that feeling of vulnerability of getting hurt again. All you can do is show her in every way you can that you like her and care about her. Don't come on too strong - you'll scare her away, but don't play hard to get. Make your feelings obvious, but don't push them on her. You have to give her time to think things through. She's put her heart on the line before (more than once) and had it stepped on, what makes her think it won't happen again? Be careful.
2006-09-28 18:03:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her some time and in the mean time keep yourself close to her so that she knows that there is actually someone care for her. But don't call her like 7 times in a day. Maybe once in 2-3 days just asking how is she and stuff. Let her make the first move to ask you the BIG question otherwise DON'T.
2006-09-28 17:56:17 · answer #7 · answered by betty boo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest for you to treat her as you would like to be treated. Prove to her that you are different just by your attitude. Show her genuine concern for her problems, let her know you care, about how she feels, just by being courteous, let her tell you her problems and be interested enough to listen to her. As many people have problems that they would like to share with someone they can truly identify with and if she senses that you understand her, she will be more than willing to talk with you. And take it from there after that. At first she may be somewhat discouraged but show her respect and appreciation as most people respond to those who encourage them and show them appreciation. A compliment does great things for a person and it also lifts your spirits as well.
Be yourself and be respectful and in turn she will no doubt be comfortable to talk to you. Take your time and don't rush head on into trying to start a relationship, give her time. When talking with her, encourage her to do the talking, in that way she will become comfortable to be around you and she will probably open up. Good Luck
2006-09-28 18:26:59 · answer #8 · answered by trieghtonhere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just make sure she likes you. Then just give her the time she needs. that will win points for her. take her out to things that aren't so datey. Like maybe take her to a lunch where you both meet up or have coffee with her. slowly you can increase. if she's been hurt, she'll need healing. Too much at once might scare her away! Good Luck! you sound like a great understanding guy and if she won't pay attention to you, she's not right for you!
2006-09-28 18:03:35 · answer #9 · answered by coochie1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most women are like that, eventhough they say that they're against men, deep inside they still want to have a man beside them. Just show her how much you care, don't make promises such as: "i'm not gonna hurt you"-eventhough u know u wont, b/c she would think that is just a lie. Build her confidence and make her feel secured w/ you. Most of all show her how you really feel ^_^. Goodluck
2006-09-28 17:53:22 · answer #10 · answered by Unhappy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋