So I'm in love with my best friend.( things have started to get more serious latley ) but he doesn't aknowledge me as someone he is "seeing" . He acts as if we are just buddies in front of people, even though his actions when we are alone speek otherwise. He has told me he doesnt want to keep "us" a secret, but still hasent jumped at the chance of making "us" officail. I think he may be jealous of his ex(who he is still good friends with) cuz she is now dating someone, be he insists he doesn't like her like that, and likes only me. I feel like i'm being used as his "on the side girl" because even though everyone knows we like eachother, he hasen't actully admitted it to anyone except me. Is he just being shy and testing the waters, or is is something else i'm missing?! Please help!
2006-09-28 17:45:55 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to tell him that he his very important to you. Tell him that you can handle being his friend and nothing else, but it has to be NOTHING else. Tell him you CAN'T under any cercumstances be hid friend slash past time, until he decides what he wants to do.
Let him know that being his friend, and nothing more while watching him figure his life out doesn't hurt, because friends are there for one another. But tell him being his friend slash past time slash part time love affair, HURTS. And you would never hurt him and don't expect him to do it to you.
Tell him it has to be all or nothing. Friends or Lovers...No friends with benifits... that hurts, and isn't fair. Tell him he needs to decide when you go some where are you pals out for the night, or are you a couple out together ?????
2006-09-28 17:54:23 · answer #1 · answered by rebecwi3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heh, I have a friend going through the SAME EXACT THING...
Well, here's what I think...
You should confront him and see if he's serious about you, and if you're feeling pulled around and you dont like it, let him KNOW!
You know sometimes guys dont get it... -_-
If he doesn't want to keep you guys a secret, then why is he showing signs that he does?
And if it's just a grudge thing for him, back off for a while and have a time out, hang out with some friends and see what they think.
I hoped I helped some, Good luck!
2006-09-28 17:54:41 · answer #2 · answered by La Reina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is going to seem like playing games and screwing with him and even pulling out the old and ugly stepsister of manipulation.... but if he wont tell anyone but you that he "likes" you so to speak.... and you feel like youre a back up... then quit right now
if you are not number one now... then you wont be until he actually desires you. He Doesnt if this is how you really feel. No one I have ever met or myself even, have every 100% gotten over an ex..... they will always have some latten feelings for them....
let him come to you and stop waiting for him. date other people. if he gets mad or demands to know whats up... let him know. You are NO ONES back up and you deserve to be loved and wanted. If he cant do that... then you have your answer and you can try to maintain the friendship but 9 times out of 10 in those instances when feelings are realized but things dont go the desired way... then the friendship is over....
dont be selfish... but dont be a pushover... you deserve and answer.... from him.
2006-09-28 17:53:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but he isn't being shy. He needs to get a grip or you need a new boyfriend. It's one thing to feel like a fool, but it's another to also look like a fool. I say this because you said "everyone knows." Believe me their muttering between themselves of the crappy way he's treating you, and how you must be aware of it. He needs to STAND UP or stay bent over as a whipped pup. Good Luck to You. Many things are not easy , when you care about someone, but please try to respect yourself even if he doesn't.
2006-09-28 17:57:07 · answer #4 · answered by MEDUSA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Denise <--- no longer a guy, yet I do have an opinion about this concern. a guy who's romantically in touch in a lady/female WILL enable that female/female understand in NO unclear words of his interest. adult males who're in touch in a good, lengthy-time period relationship make the first flow. you're ideal in allowing that as antagonistic to creating the first flow your self. you may have time to precise the way you sense once you're in the relationship. enable the guy take the initiative. that's a time-shown actuality: no guy is so shy he received't bypass after a comfortable female if he's very and deeply in touch in her.
2016-12-06 08:48:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's testing the waters to see how much he can get away with, with you. Actions speak louder than words sounds like both of you need to remember that.
2006-09-28 17:51:20 · answer #6 · answered by yobaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your feeling...
But I don't think you can live like that the rest of your life...S
I hate to say he is playing around...
2006-09-28 17:48:53 · answer #7 · answered by Pattie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU NEED TO LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU DONT APPRECIATE HOW HE TREATING YOU. IT DISRESPECTFULLY AND I WOULD LET HIM KNOW THAT
IF WANT TO CONTINUE THIS REALTIONSHIP, THEN MAKE
IT CLEAR ABOUT WHO I AM, WHEN WE IN PUBLIC. IT
SOUND LIKE HE PLAYING GAMES, AND YOU JUST SOMETHING ON THE SIDE. AND YOU REALLY DESEVE
MUCH BETTER THAN THAT. AS FOR HIS EX, WHY DOES
HE CARE ABOUT WHO SHE DATING. HE FULL OF BULL
SHI**.
2006-09-28 17:50:33 · answer #8 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you feel like you are then it can't be far from the truth. Trust you feelings and Honey move on.
2006-09-28 17:48:16 · answer #9 · answered by cattailtop 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋