After two years together he broke up with me and went back to an ex-girlfriend the very same day. After they were together less than a month, he started calling and saying that he couldn't stop thinking of me and never stopped loving me... but he never left her. Now, two and a half years later, he prank calls me on a regular basis. He either makes noises or says nothing (31 times a day is his record). He didn't seem like an idiot when we were together so what is up with this? I know I can keep ignoring it and I'm sure I could change my number but why should I have to suffer? I'm not the immature a**hole! Are there any women out there who have had a similar experience? Any guys out there who have done it themselves? Why?
Just in case you are wondering- yes, I have filed reports and told him to stop.
2006-09-28 15:39:48 · 20 answers · asked by - 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
So far I am loving the responses! If only I could tell you what my number is then you would know why I just don't want to change it. I've had it for years, used it for schools, contacts of all kinds and it would be perfect for business because it is impossibly hard to forget (kinda like that pizza hut number). Unfortunately, the police won't do much more for me since most of the time he blocks the number (and of course they have more important things to do). They say it cannot be traced that way...even by the phone company.
2006-09-28 16:06:37 · update #1
Mr. Moo: your answer really made me laugh because that was my exact fantasy for quite a while... still is every now and then ;)
Jennifer J: The girlfriend called me over a year ago. She suspected he was cheating on her so I told her what was going on. She did not kick his a**. She just thought I was trying to break them up so I could have him back. They are still together.
2006-09-29 17:06:29 · update #2
Well, you are seeing a side of him that should make you glad you aren't still with him.
His motivations could be any of a combination of the following:
(1) He might still have control issues regarding you and when he calls he is making you answer the phone interrupting whatever else you were doing
(2) He could be just plain nosey and wants to see if someone else will answer, especially a male
(3) He is hoping you will break down and tell him you still love him
(4) He resents you having a life totally separate from him and he wants to intrude himself on you...sorta like #1 but a little different
(5) He hates you or is angry or hostile because he still loves you. He may have left you because he is afraid of you or feels inadequate or inferior to you in one or more ways. He might be afraid you will be more successful in life than he will be. He may feel he made a mistake leaving you but now, for some reason, the decision is irrevocable. All the above may be generating just plain hostility toward you.
(6) He may still need to feel a connection with you and being on the phone with you might create some kind of pleasant sensation, emotion or memory.
Since you asked, as for me, I have not done this myself. I try to avoid contact of any kind with my exes although I have had a few weak moments, Weird stuff like constant calling, hang ups, disguised voices, etc. that you have described is just not be. I am more of a silent sufferer, I guess, until I've found someone new. Fortunately, I truly like women and it is not hard for me to find someone new to become emotionally involved with.
I am wondering why you don't change numbers? To be honest, I suspect there might be a side of you that enjoys this attention. Ya know, you could get a cell phone and block the numbers he calls you from, all out-of-area calls, and all private numbers, or at least put all these types of calls on silent ring. Should you decide to do this, be sure to pick a cell phone company which offers these service features.
Hope I've helped. I think the best thing to do is to get a new number. You may be giving him an unintentional message that it's OK for him to continue to do this stuff, since you haven't changed your number yet. I see the flip side of this too which you mentioned in your question, why should you have to? Well, for the simple reason that you should not be viewed by him as encouraging him to continue. If you changed your number, it might really devastate him and force him to realize that it truly is over and no more time is left for monkey business.
2006-09-28 16:36:11 · answer #1 · answered by fergal_lawler_iowa 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
my ex - husband kinda did the same thing. He was living with the new girl and calling me and saying he thought he made a mistake and shouldn't have divorced me - But he had no intentions of leaving her either... Men can be such pains. They don't think before they open their dumb mouths. This thing went on with him for like 6 months and it was hard for me to deal with - emotional rollercoaster! Anyway, it eventually all stopped. I think your ex is psycho - calling you after all this time that has gone by. Maybe you should seriously concider getting a new number - You did make a police report on him for phone harrassment correct? If that has not stopped this behaviour maybe you just need to suck it up and get a new number... Good luck.
2006-09-28 15:48:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He seems to be obsessive compulsive... he is not truly happy so he also wants to make your life miserable. You say you have filed reports and told him to stop... well with a track record of daily calling upto 31 times in a day, why have you not enforced those reports... call the police because that is harassment have him get arrested... maybe he will see the light ... if that does not stop it, it is a road of destructive behavior he seems to be on.. be careful because he may take it beyond just phone calls one day
2006-09-28 15:45:54 · answer #3 · answered by oracle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The phone company will prove a case of harrassment. It's time for a cop to give him a call and let him know this is stalking, not fun and games. Then file the charges. He is an idiot, but more than that--it's simply harrassment now, it has nothing to do with attraction and everything to do with control.
2006-09-28 15:42:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's an immature pr*ck. He knows that he'll win you back by acting like a jerk. Men like him give everyone else a bad name.
1) Change your telephone number. Make sure it is unlisted. Don't give it to him and don't give it to anyone that knows him.
2) Be careful. Obsessed people do stupid things.
3) Buy some pepper spray and keep it with you at all times.
Good luck.
2006-09-28 15:44:56 · answer #5 · answered by ssbn598 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is immature and a jerk keep complaing he is harassing you. Did you complain to the phone company and the police. Got to the courts and see if you can get some legal paper against him.
2006-09-28 15:42:20 · answer #6 · answered by Pantherempress 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Texting lets you control the tone and establish what kind of conversation you want to have. Learn here https://tr.im/Jotgr
This is probably the most important part. With texting, you can stop and think about what you want to say to your ex at each step of the way. Instead of reacting emotionally, you can take your time, figure out the right thing to say (I’ll give you most of it), and be strategic with your ex without saying something that you’ll regret.
2016-04-21 09:59:21 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a control freak, I would go ahead and change my phone number also and change the locks on the doors. and put locks on all of the windows and buy me a dog for protection.
2006-09-28 15:42:10 · answer #8 · answered by couchP56 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what an immature pathetic loser....im a guy and i gotta say u have my full sympathy.....perhaps be straight forward with him. Give him what he deserves and find a big buff dangerous looking new boyfriend that can kick the sh!t out of that freak
2006-09-28 15:43:36 · answer #9 · answered by Mr.Moo 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's a dangerous immature imbecile. Good for you for filing reports!
2006-09-28 15:41:13 · answer #10 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋