that my brother and his wife have enough problems and they said i could well heres the problem she said i need to get rid of my damn kid and the only reason she is mad is cause my babys daddy is black and well what i want to know is what to do? I'm 19 and i told her through messenger if shes going to act like that then not to ******* talk to me. i know that was the wrong thing to do but she also told me when she first found out i was dating a black guy she said all you do is date n's and mexicans! what should i do please help me if you can also they can't have no more kids so there going to help me. which is good cause its my first kid.
2006-09-28 13:14:49 · 13 answers · asked by chubby 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Ok. So you made the decision to make and keep the baby. Go down to child support and file. Establish visitation. Apply for Wic and whatever else social services has for support. Apply for subsidized housing and a day care subsidy.
How are you going to support this child? Do you have transportation? Find a job. Keep this job. Do the things that give this child a responsible parent. This is neither your mother or your brother's responsibility and you do not have a right to drag them into your situation. They all want to see you get through this. So stay put. Do the things that put you on the path to independence. When you have your own place...do not let men in. Ever. There are men who attach themselves to women receiving assistance. They are lazy and selfish. Your man should be able to offer you a home and some security. Not offer to take what is yours and the baby's.
You can get through this. Become the person you see when you picture raising your child. Your family will come to respect you as you continue to grow into an adult. Show them the person you are becoming.
I commend you for having the courage of your convictons in having this child. Do not let this become a decision you will regret. My kids are precious and I want to provide everything for them. It is hard when I cannot give them the things they want. But they have always had me and that has gotten us through everything. Us. Together. You and your mom have this same bond. She loves you and is broken hearted. Tell her you love her and everything is going to be ok. Then.....Go for it.
2006-09-28 13:37:46 · answer #1 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok so the father is black......SO WHAT? is the father going to accept responsibility for the child? seems like in your letter that he's not. have you talked to him? maybe he can be responsible, do his share, and take care of you & the child. after all, he had a share in making the child.
if ever that you really have to move in with your brother, is it very ok with him? you have to be sure with it because it could be a problem in the future. be sure to do your share in the house chores, you don't want to hear some nasty comments in the future about being an extra baggage. also financially as much as possible. (you know why)
well, be brave. you are doing the right thing keeping the baby. it's not going to be easy raising him up alone. if you don't pray much, please do now. you will need GOD'S help & guidance.
GOOD LUCK!!
2006-09-28 13:43:13 · answer #2 · answered by Coolitz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow I feel sorry for your situation....I don't understand why your mom would get mad over you having a baby with a different race...But I do think she is trying to protect you from things that she doesn't want you to get in to...Do you love the father of the baby? Is he gonna take care of the baby also??? Well if you thought you were ready to start taking care of a child then that means you should be able to take care of yourself...I think that it doesn't matter of the race of the baby's father, but that your mom is just mad because she's afraid something bad might happen to you...Hope this helps
2006-09-28 13:33:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe she is trying to protect you. When mothers yell at their children its not because she HATES you its because she loves you and wants the best for you. She really upset right now, give her time, when that babys born she will come to her senses and relize what she did was wrong. You are better off moving into your brothers house, if they are willing to take you in than go. But remember your brother can not support you their whole life, so finding a job " or if you got one never mind" and working to help at least pay something will help them out. Just dont go there and mooch everything because you living there will not last long.. You need to get the babys father involved and make him help you out also..you didnt do this alone. he needs to help out.
good luck
2006-09-28 13:25:44 · answer #4 · answered by BlueEyes4172004 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your mom is very closed minded, you can't help who you love and choose to be with. Right now your main concern should be your baby, it didn't asked to be born and it deserves to have the best life possible for it and if that means your brother will help you out than go live with him, you are young and should go back to school and get a good education to support your baby and yourself. As for your mom until she changes her views on the different races she needs to stay away and not use the words she does, after all we all bleed red and we are all human. good luck.
2006-09-28 13:20:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anna Z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it quite is rather confusing to enhance a infant and much extra good once you're so youthful. you will desire to tell your mom, she is going to be certain faster or later besides. in case you desire to maintain the infant she will would desire to stand in the back of you and assist you considering you won't be able to do it on my own. Adoption might then be your ultimate determination. there are countless those that would desire to desire to have somewhat one. With an open adoption you may negotiate the guidelines with the couple and be waiting to be certain the infant as generally as you and that they pick. think of roughly it.....you have lots extra to do on your young ones yet and it would probable be a stronger determination for you and the infant. you may desire to bypass to a doctor and function a being pregnant attempt and actual very quickly. Be healthful for the hot guy or woman interior you.
2016-10-18 04:05:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi,,,,,,,first ...you're an adult.second ,,,your brother and his wife want you to move in with them and help you out,,,take them up on their offer as soon as possible because if you stay at your mom's house ..you'll be under alot of stress which isn't good for you or baby. sounds like your mom will hold it against the baby because of its race.....you have yourself and the baby to think of now.....mending fences with your mom ( if possible) can come later..she can't make you do anything at all to the baby.....its you that has to make sure that you're ready to be a mommy no matter what race the baby is. and i bet you are NOT getting the same reaction from the baby's dad's family..right? i bet their happy plus worried but not mean. move away from your mom and fix things later......
2006-09-28 13:45:01 · answer #7 · answered by ggmsixer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I would go live with your brother and keep the kid. If the baby's dad is still around I would let him be around the kid if not try to get child support
2006-09-28 13:20:36 · answer #8 · answered by necthana 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, I only read the first couple lines. Why dont you come up with a more interesting question, one that I might actually care about enough to answer?
2006-09-28 13:41:14 · answer #9 · answered by schamm45 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother may never like your child. Or, she may come around to love him/her very much. The sad thing is that you may need your mother in your life to help you out.
You have to be strong enough not to move past it.
Good luck!!!!!
2006-09-28 13:22:13 · answer #10 · answered by dionne m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋