My daughter is 6 with2 brothers 5 & 3, She started school for the first time this year, and she was taught?

Question

morals, manners and the like but recently has been giving me lip, I am torn in spanking the bottom or the time out thing, she just doesnt understand this disresect to us recently

Answer 1

have you ever watched the show "super nanny?" seriously, the time out thing WORKS! the show features families with the brattiest of brats, who have HORRIBLE manners, etc. they introduce something called the "naughty chair" (or spot, or bench, or corner, whatever). now, this naughty chair has to be a chair that is not used for anything else, and stays in one spot. this gives the child a sense that this chair is there for this purpose only. basically, if the child does something that you don't like - gives you lip - then you give them a warning, saying that if they do it again, they will go to the naughty chair. if they do it again, you take them to the naughty chair, sit them down, explain WHY they are there, and tell them that they have to stay sitting in that chair for a set amount of time (she usually does one minute per year old...so your daughter would stay there for six minutes). tell her that if she moves from the chair, she will be placed back there, and her time will start over. now, i have watched this show often, and in the beginning, it can be very frustrating for the parent, as most children cry, kick, scream, yell, and move from the spot. it is the parent's responsibility to remain firm with the naughty chair. i have seen it take 45 minutes for a child to serve a 4 minute time out. but after a few times in the naughty chair, the child knows that there is no point in getting up - IF THE PARENTS ENFORCE IT! and seriously, this works!!! if you get ABC where you live, watch an episode or two. normally i hate shows like this, but after watching it a couple of times, you can see that her strategies are fair and they really do work. maybe try searching for this online.

also, try the website for the show...it has some tips i think....

http://abc.go.com/primetime/supernanny/toptenrules.html



good luck!

Answer 2

I understand how you feel i know someone like that and see that person alot. What I found is that when you spank a child it is like you some way encouraging them to keep on going in their ways that they already are. And I know that you are torn by the time out thing but have you ever tried the naughty corner? I learnt this from Super Nanny a great show to watch for your issue that you are having. So watch the show and it will really work!!!

Answer 3

I was never a fan of spanking OR time out..neither seemed like a good way to solve a problem... I would talk to her and ask her if the other kids talk that way and explain to her it is NOT acceptable towards you or her teachers..and let her know there will be consequences..I used things like she was not able to watch her favorite TV show..or she would not be able to participate in the weekly ice cream at McDonalds trip with her brothers...no dessert that night..but let her know up front what the consequences will be for this behavior..and then STICK to ti..even if she pitches a fit when you take the other kids for ice cream..she will think twice abotu her behavior

Answer 4

Spanking her will teach her that you hit when you are mad. Show her you are an adult and you use your words. That is manners, morals and the like.
Tell her when she says mean things to you it hurts your feelings. Don't argue with her, give her a time out to think about how mean she was.

Answer 5

I read your letter and thought thsat it must have been written by my daughter...who has children the exact age and sex of your children.
Lexi is in 1st grade this year,,,this is her 2nd year. Last year she too got into the "I am 5 and I know all there is to know!" (kinda like the 'Everything I ever needed to Know I learned in Kindergarten'). It basically stemmed from her being thrown into a group situation with kids from all kinds of households and lifestyles. She had to try her wings...all kids do and did. (I'm sure you too did if you asked your parents).
Her parents and me allowed and basically let slide abit of it that wasn't too extreme or disruptive. But, when it got to the obnoxious,rude,disrespectable stage......yes, the spankings(swats as they were) on the bottom and sometimes the timesout and the nose on the wall or as many minutes as her age...and only once that I remember...a good gargle and spit out of dishwashing liquid in the mouth for the vulgar speakings.( it didn't hurt her...but it sure did clean out her colon and she pooped nicely for the next couple days....sorry; not laughing, I promise).
But, the main thing that she did was ask her if she had ever heard that kind of languarge and attitude and tone in her home or mine and then we explained to her that differnt families have different ways of coping with things and that this was not one of the ways that we did things and we would appreciate it if she would refrain from that behavior and attitude while she was growing up around us (which we also explained was gonna be at least the next 13 years) We explained that she owed us all the respect to act as we had all had a part in raising her up to this point in her life, and for as long as she remained under our care. If she chose to raise her family different when she got out on her own...that was something she would be able to choose.
Good luck with however you choose to handle this. It isn't easy, but children live by what they learn, and when they start to school...they learn to live and learn awhole lot of different ways.

Answer 6

Perhaps you could try using the fact that she is the eldest sibling of the family?? Therefore, she must set a good example for her brothers.

My son is only 2&8months, but the concept is exactly the same. He absolutely loves being the 'big boy' (some could call it being bossy, but lets keep it positive :-)

He seems to get so much pride in telling Matilda "No, no, no. No Spitting" or "Be kind!" or "shhhh, inside voice please" which are frequently followed by - "huh mummy!" (or other adult) as if to show her that he is getting the aproval of a grown-up.

I do do a fair bit of reminding him myself, but he takes so much pride in being the 'big boy', maybe it will flick a switch in your daughter too? Lots of little girls I know, love being the helper/teacher, and take much pride in the extra responsibility.

Best of luck! Hope you find something that will work for your family

Answer 7

i began at 4 and that i might say that, till he has close friends in that distinctive 3 hundred and sixty 5 days, he would desire to be held lower back a 300 and sixty 5 days. i've got consistently felt i've got been doing each and every little thing a 300 and sixty 5 days early... intense college at 11 isn't stable. Now i'm sixteen and occurring the HSC yet might have enjoyed it lots extra if i'd desire to take great component approximately being sixteen quite than analyzing. shop him lower back till he quite is clever. it is lots extra desirable to be extra desirable than wide-unfold than smaller in the long-term.

Answer 8

Sounds like your child is starting to test the waters...ie boundaries. Take heart and stand firm. You will have many years to come with mutlitple children. Never be afraid to spank (without anger). Just do what your gut says but always reinforce with love. Children need to have boundaries but always be told/shown that they are loved.

Answer 9

well...she might have picked it up from school...but just as likely she is just going through a "stage" and is lashing out at the safest place---YOU.

Is she doing well in school? Is she being picked on? Children who are picked on sometimes bottle it up and bring it home.

Is she jealous of her brothers who stay home?

If she has been a sweetie peatie up until now... it is perhaps not what she is learning at school...but something she is going through. Little girls can be mean to other little girls...yes... even at five.
My oldest daughter has been both victim and bully
youngest seems to stay at top of the heap... You can preach kindness and sharing. and acceptance..but it CREEPS in anyway--at least a little


Good Luck with your little one.

Answer 10

Explain it to her in terms that she can understand. Ask her if she would like to be talked to that way. Then if it continues, use time outs and take away toys. Don't spank. It only teaches that big people can hurt little people.