2006-09-28 11:50:32 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
**** EDIT FROM THE HUSBAND*****
Thank you all so much for your support. Most of you are right on track, but I just wanted to log in here and clearify some things ( I just came across this post)
1) I did not say I will not have kids, only that I am not ready YET
2) we are 22 and 23 year olds, and have only been married about a year....There is no need to tie our selves down to a baby and I am not yet ready for this responsibility.
3) My wife (lagray0505) is still in college and has 2 years left!! She has got to finish first.
4) we have had this conversation many times... I have many times said I want to have a family, but the more she pushes the less ready I feel.
Sorry everyone had to be brought into our family issue, but I was really happy to see the answers, I hope this helps someone else
2006-09-29 09:39:34 · update #1
Husband still - please answer my question, all of you good people who answered hers.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060929134627AAGuDtj&pa=FYd1D2bwHTHwIbNjEug8SdNbyqwNCKEng.3DsiGEe6wxhFwzp7U4y7hRfpCFGRVSaclqPR07Iq.8eg--&msgr_status=
2006-09-29 09:47:29 · update #2
Your are not trying to convince your husband to have children. You are trying to make your husband agree to have a child RIGHT NOW. That's not fair. I'm sure he knows you want a child and he'll do that when the time is right but how can you be so selfish? This is your Husband not your boyfriend. He's your life partner. You married him so you have to know what caliber of man you have. Give him respect and be his wife supporting all his decisions (as long as they're within reason) There will come a time when the time is right and you two will lay down in uni sen with the intention of making love to create a child and on the day when you TWO find out you're expecting it will be the happiest day of your LIVES. Don't take away from the magic and make it the happies day of YOUR LIFE. You only live once. That's your man girl. He's not going anywhere. Neither of you are right?? So take your time, be happy. I send my blessings for the day near or far that you do conceive.
2006-09-29 10:11:45 · answer #1 · answered by Jakkie F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't. I would think the two of you would have had a conversation regarding family and children before you got married. My husband married me and committed himself knowing I already had two children. One was grown and one is a teen. He made it very clear he did not want a baby. If you surprise your husband with pregnancy you would be taking a chance of losing him all together. Then, where would that leave you and an innocent child??? Take my word for it, it's not easy out there finding a good man that would take on not only you but your child. If you are happy in your marriage, I would give it time and hopefully someday he will come to you and open a conversation about starting a family. If you feel you have waited too long at this point then I would suggest you move on in your life because your stress will end up causing conflict in your marriage anyway. I wish you lots of luck. Children are a beautiful miracle but it's hard if you are alone with one or two.
2006-09-28 13:51:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your only 22, your in school and not ready for a baby. Your husband is being smart about this! Finish school first.
Why do you want a baby so bad?
Maybe you should start with a puppy and work you way up from there. Seriously a dog is a big responsibility and is a good first step for people thinking about kids.
2006-09-29 09:56:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHOA THERE SISTER!!!!
I think that you had better take another long look at hubby's birth certificate and see whose name is listed under "Mother's Name"!!!
Where do you get off wanting/needing to "convince" him that "he" is ready to have children????
If "he" was ready to have children....I'm sure that he would have already made that point very clear to you!
Seems like you have an issue with parenting and that you are already acting as if you have a child already in him.
Which makes me wonder why you are ready for "another" child when he seems to be the child that you don't have yet.
What, are you gonna treat him just like you will a new child, and perhaps raise them up together??
Are you hellbent on raising children as a single parent when after they get older, he realizes he was NOT ready to have children and he splits and you are left raising them by yourself. Can you deal with THAT!!
If you that so anxious to have children and he is not ready yet, according to HIS standards and feelings....then perhaps the two of you need to sit down and discuss if you really are ready to stay married to one another, until he is ready, or even at all.
2006-09-28 12:06:57 · answer #4 · answered by lildragonlexi 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can NOT tell someone what they are ready for. You have to be reasonable hon. You both MUST agree on when to start a family. If you keep drilling him about it you can push him off the subject even more. You guys haven't even been married that long (not that you have to be) BUT damn your soo young..why not enjoy each other for a few more years.
2006-09-29 09:51:11 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him you're waiting to have a toddler, straightforward as that, you're at that degree the position you want to start up. If he's not on board, danger is it received't paintings out. in case you get pregnant besides, danger is that'll only scare the dude, and that i doubt he'd go away if he somewhat loves you, yet there'll continually be that feeling that what ought to've been, like.. idk, possibly he's not waiting for the duty. through only being truthful, you'll gauge the position he's at contained in the relationship, and if he's excited through the prospect, then i wager he's waiting. If no longer, then there is somewhat no sturdy thanks to convince them, human beings only choose time to get waiting for duty. important question to ask is that if he needs toddlers in any respect. If he would not, getting pregnant would scare him away, i do not understand.
2016-11-25 01:20:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant convince your partner of anything. He has to want kids by himself. There are many ppl in the world who dont want kids at all and if he doesnt want them u cant force him. Making him have kids when he doesnt want them yet will only push him away and he will resent you, the kids u have or both.
If the two of u cant decide or compromise you are best to find someone else who does feel the same way u do.
2006-09-28 11:53:46 · answer #7 · answered by gr33n_3y3d_grrl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't convince someone that they are ready to do anything, let alone have children, if they don't think they are. You might want to talk to him in regards to why he doesn't think he's ready, and go from there. Hopefully after talking to him about it, you two can start NOW, assuming your talk goes well. ;) Good luck.
2006-09-28 11:53:42 · answer #8 · answered by marypaz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I work with a guy who wasn't ready for a child, but when his wife got pregnant, and the baby was born he turned into insta-dad. I think the ice breaker for him was threats of leaving from his wife they could'nt have children.
2006-09-28 11:53:58 · answer #9 · answered by Zach S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't. If he doesn't want children you should have found that out before you got married. If you did and you ignored it then you need to make peace with that. You can't change people.
2006-09-28 11:54:29 · answer #10 · answered by Bobi Ann D 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋