I am soon to be a father for the first time. What's your advice ??

Question

Re: relationship with wife, finances, leisure time, etc.

Answer 1

Spoil your wife and do everything she says

Answer 2

First of all it's great that you're open to opinions. My advice comes from the fact that my mother and father divorced when I was 4. That was fine, it shouldn't have stopped him being our father, but it did. We missed out on a lot. So my advice is that you need to take the good with the bad. Don't expect your wife to look after all the nasty stuff and you get the good times. If you have a girl you must show her a lot of affection (even through teenage years) and let her know that she's worth it otherwise girls tend to go off the track and crave attention from any guy that comes along. Spend time with kids, not just money. Presents do not make up for you not spending time with them. Leisure time is very important also. Throwing a ball back and forth for an hour might seem boring to you, but it's such a treat for kids. No matter what happens be their Dad because if you lose it, it's hard to get that back. Impossible in my case. My father has tried to get back into my life and I won't hear of it. So, good luck!

Answer 3

Remember that your wifes hormones will take awhile to even out and she may be feeling extra emotional. Show lots of love to her and the baby. Remember that she will be very tired for at least the first six months.
It is also easier for her to get pregnant again during this period, her body is ripe. Use contraception.
How were your finances before the baby. Both of you should contribute jointly, based on income.
Try and pitch in with the extra work of the baby if you are both working, it should be half your responsibility.
Both of you should provide time for activities together and free time apart without the baby.
Remember just when you think you cant take it anymore(exhaustion) the baby's routine will settle down.
Good luck!

Answer 4

time is very important. Spend it evenly, indulge your wife and you helping her out is the best thing I can tell you to do. finance part only spend what you need to. leisure time having a new is gone now but when you find a few spare hours rest up and snuggle with your wife. Make sure she has some time to herslef or with you, seeing how she will spend the whole day with the little one wish is wonderful but yet she needs others too. and she needs to relaxing time to. Pour her a nice hot bath and light some candles and bring her something to drink , ask to wash her back and just little things are wonderful.......maybe my husband can read this! lol

Answer 5

enjoy the process! Don't be so worried about doing it "right," that you forget to enjoy all the firsts that come with parenthood.

Also, for a couple weeks, be as doting on your wife as you possibly can. Postpartum depression affects each woman differently. Expect her to be "not quite herself", and provide as much help as you can. If she's nursing the baby, bring baby to her occasionally so she doesn't always have to get out of the warm bed or comfy chair. Make sure she has a drink at hand at nursing time - it always made me fiercely thirsty.

Help out with all aspects of taking care of baby, as much as possible. diapers, feeding, dressing, playing wth baby, putting baby to sleep - all of these things are joys as well as chores. You need time to bond with your baby, too.

Start helping out with household chores, if you don't already. Birthing a baby takes a huge amount of energy, after which all parents enter a sleep deprivation period whose length is determined solely by baby. If you and your wife lean on each other and help each other, you'll build a strong foundation of love and support that will get you through the sleepless times.

DO take time off. If the two of you aren't comfortable leaving baby with a sitter in those first few months, then take turns being the parent on duty while the other parent leaves the house for a few hours of leisure. Grocery shopping does not count! ;)

So long as baby is healthy, be generous with him. Allow grandparents, close friends, etc. to hold baby, help with feeding, etc. Many new parents won't let anyone else handle their baby, and they soon teach everyone not to offer help. You don't want that, believe me!

Above all, enjoy it. They really do grow up amazingly fast, and you want to cherish every moment.

Answer 6

Be patient with your wife. She will be tired alot. Try to help as much as you can. Get the baby, change the baby, etc...
Don't wait to be asked for help. Encourage her to take me time. Like taking long baths. Babies are expensive there's no way around it. Be prepared for your sex life to be off kilter for a while.
Mostly be prepared not to have a full night's sleep for the next couple of years. Allowing family members to help watch the baby or hiring a babysitter won't make you bad parents. Take full advantage of offers that will allow you and your wife a couple of hours to be a couple every once in a while. Always Remember that you have a relationship with your wife that needs to be nurtured .That relationship is seperate from the relationship with your child.

Answer 7

Just Relax Because If You Dont You Might Make Your Wife All Stressed Out.

Answer 8

This comment is for a few years in the future :

Treat your children like mini adults... include them in decision making around the house, talk to them like they are adults but with just less experience.

By doing this you will raise a child that can cope with adult situations, coorespondewith all ages and not feel the need to follow other adolescents during the rough time of their lives.

We carried out this plan with great rewards.... we have a son who is now more intelligent financially and worldly wise than most 50 years.... It is a dream come true!

Best wishes with your future family ! Make it a good one...for ONLY YOU can !!

: )

Answer 9

Always be supporting of your wife, Finances are going to be tuff. With new baby furniture, the baby growing out of clothes quicker than the next fad going out of style and time..Well, I suggest sleeping when the baby does. Dont get used to alot of it at first until the baby learns to sleep through the night.

If She is breast feeding, get up and change the baby, and bring the baby to her. That helps loads. If the baby is on the bottle, fix extra bottles ahead of time, like before going to bed at night, and have them ready for whomever takes the feeding that night.

Work together with her with the baby. It wll make her feel like she has the support she needs.

There is a thing known as the baby blues. If this happens, try to be as supportive as you can. Remember a simple hello baby can make her cry, because of the hormones released from being pregnant, and having the baby. She may even tell you not to touch her one second, and then wonder why you dont the next. Its just her bodies way of trying to figure things out. Stay calm with her, and tell her its going to be ok. Try to be as understanding as possible.

Anyone that says having a baby for the first time isnt difficult, I wouldnt believe. Its hard work raising a baby. Sure the baby is cute and all, specially in the hospital before you bring it home, but after which you get to share in the babies dirty diapers, spits ups, some babys have collic. (meaning they cry all the time ). Its hard. But through understanding of each other and trying to keep a cool head about things, it can work.

I was by Myself when I had My first child. I lived with My father, and techniqually was a teen age mother. My father had the view "you made your bed, now lay in it". While he tried to do his best. He had a hard time getting over his 18/19y/o daughter having a child. Disrupting his already set in his ways world. He, while he thought My son was the cutest thing in the world, and bragged and bragged on him, let Me take care of him. I was responsible for him with everything, I bathed fed, and changed him. I did everything for him. I know what it's like to be alone. All I wanted was someone to help Me. I would have cherished it more than anything in this world.

Cherish the fact that you and your wife are together through this. That each one of you is backing the other. Being each others strengths in a time thats difficult.

Believe Me. She'll thank you for it.

Answer 10

First off, congrats.

Second, changes are a comin! You're going to have to realize that this child will be your wife's FIRST love now, and you'll be second. That's just the way it is.

Budgeting will have to be rearranged to pay for the extra expenses (diapers, food).

And liesure time? Well, don't worry about that too much for another 18 years.

Answer 11

Take days one at a time. You may not realize it at first, but you are experiencing amazing times that you will make into memories, so relax, and make them good memories.
Also, make sure that you understand that this is the FIRST time that you will ever experience this. This is the time that is most important. Take advantage of the time that is going to slip away from you because you know what? Before you know it, that baby is gonnna be grown up. Just always take advantage of time with that child.

Congratulations and good luck.
I pray that your growing family
is blessed with good health :]