because I have not been the most wonderful person to live with lately, I have been really hard on them. Should I explian it to them, and if yes- how? Or do I just let it go and hope that this helps??? (they are 7 & 5, and very bright)
2006-09-28 11:31:14 · 14 answers · asked by Smilingcheek 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
It is important that you talk to your kids about what is happening. They already know it hasn`t been good, they need to know why and what you are doing about it. When parents struggle and kids are exposed to this, their security is threatened. You are in charge of their security so it is up to you to reinstate it. You don`t have to give them big long explanations, excuses etc just let them know that you have been sick(mood disorders are classified as an illness) but you have seen a physician and you are taking medicine to help.If you are seeing a therapist, let them know you talk to someone who helps. Remember you are modelling, so what do you want them to learn? Having trouble in life is normal, doing something about it is normal,talking about it is normal. Talk about behaviors, so that they know you should not have behaved certain ways so they can see you take responsibilty for this. Tell them what you will be doing to help yourself. Don`t ask for their help...kids are famous for taking responsibilty for their parents troubles and we all know it is not their job...let them be kids. Don`t over talk about it. Kids are simple. They want to understand so their world won`t be so scary, and they want to know that their mom is going to be ok, so their future won`t be so scary. Acknowledge your strengths...love your self and your kids...lighten up as much as you can. As Barbara Colorosso says don`t sweat the small stuff
2006-09-28 12:47:52 · answer #1 · answered by Therapist King 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even though your kids are very bright, they don't need to be burdened with worrying about mom. If you tell them that you're going on meds it will just make them worry about you, and they may not be themselves around you because they'll feel like it's their fault.
Just tell them that mommy hasn't been feeling her best lately, that you're sorry if you've been too grumpy with them, and that you're going to start feeling better in a few days. Tell them you love them and you can't wait to get feeling better so you can all have fun together again.
Any more info than that will just make them nervous and may give them anxiety, which I'm sure would be the last thing you'd want.
Hope you're feeling better really soon. Good luck!
2006-09-28 18:44:41 · answer #2 · answered by monkeymom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I was in your place, I would tell my 7 and 5 year old kids that I was going on meds because I love them and want to treat them right. Anxiety meds are very helpful. Explain that you love your children, and that you want to do whatever it takes to be a better mom. Explain to them that it's nothing bad to take meds, it's just medicine for mommy's problems. Explaine that we all have problems, and that you need to take medicine for yours. Tell them that if they find you to be acting strange when you start taking the meds, that they should tell you. Make sure that you get the point accross that they can come to you at anytime, and that you will be as patient and kind as you can be. Tell them that you are sorry for not being easy on them, and for getting after them for every little thing, but at the same time, tell them that they DO need to mind you, and that they need to help mommy because it is a hard time, and you need thier help and patience as children, to get through this, and that everything will work out just fine.
I hope that my answer helped you. Good luck with your kids, they sound like wonderful children. I hope that you get the right treatment and that it works for you!
2006-09-28 18:41:52 · answer #3 · answered by Cyber Spacer 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
They might be bright, but emotionally they seem a bit young to have to cope with all the details. A simple, honest explanation that mom's been having a rough time and she's trying hard to get better, she loves you through good times and bad might be enough at this point. A "we'll get through it together" is the way to go. If they ask questions you can't answer, maybe say that you don't know right now, but when you figure it out, they'll be the first to know.
2006-09-28 18:41:07 · answer #4 · answered by SlapHappy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is totally acceptable if you want to tell them why you have been the way you have. You could tell them about being anxious and that you want to get better and you are working really hard on it. That way if they ever see mommy taking pills they won't jump to other conclusions. Kids are so smart. I'm sure they would be supportive and happy for the explanation and/or apology especially if you have been very difficult to be around lately. Also opening the line of communication with children early is important, so that when they are feeling anxious or scarred or anything, they know that you will understand and are someone they can talk to about that kind of stuff.
2006-09-28 18:41:28 · answer #5 · answered by Georgia 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You will have to put it in words they can understand. Kids that age might not really understand the word anxiety...but they will understand that mommy has not been feeling well and that the doctor is giving her mediction that is going to make her feel better. Make sure you are there to answer any questions they might have and again make sure you talk to them in words they can understand. I am sure they are very bright, but since a lot of things about mental health are not taught to them in school at that age, they probably don't understand any of it. I know there are adults that don't understand a lot of it...LOL.
2006-09-28 21:05:11 · answer #6 · answered by Aimee B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have severly bad anxiety problems also. I know what you mean about being hard on them. I personally think that it would be helpful for them to understand your moods, and that you don't mean to have them. I do with my kids, and when I am not feeling so well, I tell them, and they understand why. I think kids deserve to know, and I think it helps with the relationship, as well as with understanding.
Good luck! I hope the meds go ok.
2006-09-28 18:41:35 · answer #7 · answered by idontknow 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have always felt that you should be honest with your kids as long as you can do it in a manner they understand. Children are very receptive when it comes to changes in our behavior and they may not understand why it is we are behaving that way. Children tend to blame themselves for a parents' negative behavior. Therefore you should carefully sit them down and have age appropriate conversations with them explaining to them that mommy has been ill and it is not their fault.
Tell them that you are going to be taking medicine and it is supposed to make you feel better but warn them that you might be feeling tired from it and they need to be understanding.....
Too many parents don't give their kids enough credit for what they can comprehend. Kids are very bright individuals and they pick up on alot more than we sometimes realize. They deserve to know what is going on in but in a loving, careful manner....
2006-09-28 19:42:39 · answer #8 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am on anti anxiety meds and my kids love it. I am now chilled out instead of driving them crazy. Think of it this way it isn't so bad having to take them if they are going to make you feel better are they? I am sure that your family will actually appreciate that fact that mom isn't stressed out anymore and can relate to the kids. Remember don't worry anymore just sit back and enjoy. Good Luck
2006-09-28 18:38:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It really depends on how old your kids are but, if they know your having problems it's always best to let them know. I think they will understand there are also pamplets to explan what u need and what your going through. good luck it will work out.
2006-09-28 18:44:55 · answer #10 · answered by VIRGIE G 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋