i have it all with my boyfriend. he is everything any girl could ask for; he is sweet, treats me with respect, leaves me my space when i need it, and is entirely devoted to me.
my problem: i do not share the same strong emotions for him that he does for me. i love him, but i love him as a friend. he is not the kind of guy i am attracted to romantically.
we have dated twice (during highschool) prior to our current relationship. each time, i ended it.no matter how close we are and have been as friends, i see him as just that: a very good friend. it has now been four years since our first time dating, and each time we broke up, he asked me out again about a year later.
now we have been dating for about a year
i am afraid to lose a boyfriend who is so loving and accepting.
i am afraid to hurt him.
i am afraid that i am not being fair to stay in the relationship, when i feel more like it is an obligation than something that brings me happiness.
any thoughts?
2006-09-28 11:19:55 · 26 answers · asked by bdazz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I recently got out of a relationship just like that. My boyfriend, loved me and he was decent. We had broken up several times as well. He just was not what I needed. To be honest with you, there is no good way to do break up with someone like that. You just have to build up your nerve and do it. He will beg and plead. You will feel guilty ( I still do 6 months later) but in the end, you will have done him a favor. Make sure he knows that you appreciate everything he has done when you do leave him. I wish you the best.
2006-09-28 11:24:51 · answer #1 · answered by Charlee's Mama 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should certainly be honest with him. He deserves that much. Then start dating others, you just may decide you want him back or you may not. Either way, you can't let things just stay the same. It is unfortunate but a lot of girls feel as you do. They want someone who will offer a little bit of challenge rather than the "safe" ones. Sometimes, these guys are kinda hard to love back as they seem kinda boring. As I said above, you need to be totally honest with him. If nothing else, print your question & all the answers you get & hand it to him. Tell him you're the one who wrote the question. At least, that way he'll know exactly how you feel. Sometimes, seeing things in writing brings the truth home more than all the words you can say.
2006-09-28 11:29:20 · answer #2 · answered by mazell41 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What matters is you, you can't just stay in a relationship because you are afraid of hurting him. If you are not happy then you need to let him go you only have one life don't waste it on someone just because you feel sorry for him or don't want to hurt him. Getting hurt is a part of life and he will get over it, and just think you could be missing out on your soul mate wasting time with someone who feels like an obligation.
2006-09-28 11:23:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You refer to him as your boyfriend in the opening question but later just as your friend. Seems that your "logical" heart has already decided. Honesty and trust is the foundation for any relationship and it seems that there is not much of it here. Be truthful to him and stop leading him on. Life is full of tough choices and this is certainly one of them. But when it comes right down to it are you together with him for your sake or his. If the relationship is not even it will deteriorate and then you will lose him anyways, so is it not better to hold a friend now than to lose a lover and a friend later?
You probably will not lose him since he keeps coming back to you, but you have to be honest and tell him the truth and stay with your set limits.
2006-09-28 11:30:38 · answer #4 · answered by Brutal honesty is best 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is watch what happens. He sounds like a nuce guy and something close to a thing i want through, but the table were turned. Dont force urself to be with him. If he's coming on to strong as a boyfriend, maybe you should explain how you feel before he falls into too much love for you. Be careful. Too bad you cant go on Dr. Phil! lol Just watch it and good luck! :-)
2006-09-28 11:27:19 · answer #5 · answered by Artsy 1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not happy, get out now! Explain to him how you feel, and make it clear that you'll only ever be just friends. If you continue like this, your unhappiness will affect your relationship and will end up hurting him in the end when the truth eventually does come out. Let him go so both of you can find the happiness you deserve.
2006-09-28 11:23:28 · answer #6 · answered by brainy_blonde 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you two have been friends for a long time. You should sit him down and tell him how you feel. Maybe after talking it out you two may come up with resolutions to maintain the relationship or to just become friends.
I not good to go on pretending like everythigs cool, when it's not.
good luck
2006-09-28 11:25:43 · answer #7 · answered by girlegyrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't feeling love then you should end it.
But since you have two seem that gotten together a many times maybe you should do some soul searching to be sure of your true feelings.
if you don't want hurt him then let him down easy. You may still end up hurting him but not as much.
2006-09-28 11:32:09 · answer #8 · answered by goldenbrowngod 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just got out of the same kind of relationship. Honestly, you have to leave - you're not doing him any service by sticking around.
My gf loved me to distraction, and I spent a year and a half trying to fall in love back....all I did was waste a year of her time that she could have been finding Mr. Right.
Let him go.
2006-09-28 11:22:31 · answer #9 · answered by niwriffej 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
God sent a man into your life thats sounds like a angel unless he has somehting seriously wrong with him i think you should figure our where your true feelings are. You should be lucky this guy treats you the way he does most other guys are jerks and are you leading him on??? if not send him a message loud and clear if thats how you really feel dont send mixed mesages
2006-09-28 11:24:37 · answer #10 · answered by Princess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋