Im 19 years old and a couple of weeks ago I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I was amazed at how much pain I went through and am absolutly terrified of having sex again. Am I going to look forward to another disasturous repeat performance or can anyone out there reasure me. Im really feeling for my boyfriend at the minute because hes got quite a healthy sexual appertite and I jus wont budge. Please help!!x
2006-09-28 10:42:16 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if i shut up and not say anything and bear the pain does it make any difference 2 him??
2006-09-28 10:47:42 · update #1
He just broke you hiemen (sp)
It probably won't be so bad next time.
2006-09-28 10:44:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Does it hurt the first time I have sex?
A:Many women experience some pain or discomfort the first time they have intercourse. Most of the time, this is due to stretching or tearing of the hymen, a thin piece of skin that partially covers the entrance to the vagina in most (but not all) women. If you have a hymen, it might hurt or bleed a little the first time you have intercourse, or it might not. Some women don't experience any pain, and not all women bleed when their hymens break. In fact, some women don’t have hymens at all. Others break their hymens before they have intercourse, often with from vigorous exercise, tampons, accidents, or masturbation.
The other very common cause of pain or discomfort during intercourse is vaginal tightness or too much friction. When a woman becomes sexually aroused, she will usually produce lubrication ("get wet") , but this does not always happen or may not be enough to e nsure comfortable intercourse. The first time you have intercourse, make sure you are very aroused and feel ready to go ahead.You may want to use a water-based, glycerin-free lubricant from the drugstore (they are next to the condoms)to reduce friction.
Also, having an orgasm first may make your vagina more relaxed and ready for penetration. If it hurts deep inside your vagina when you have sex, especially if the pain is very intense, there may be something else going on. Painful intercourse, even the first time, can be a sign of infection or an other medical condition. More often, it can be a way for your vagina to say “no” to intercourse by refusing to relax and allow penetration. You may not be ready for intercourse or you may need to learn more about what feels good to you. If you consistently experience pain during intercourse, talk to your doctor.
So.. unless you are having a "wetness" problem or he is just tooooooo big... then it should be better.. just relax and take it slow.. have him do a LOT of foreplay before hand... but don't force antyhing.. if it hurts stop!!!
2006-09-28 10:46:16 · answer #2 · answered by .... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what his sexual appetite, he should consider what you're going through. Every guy should know that sex hurts for the first time and it's not always a great experience for the girl. Try talking to him and explaining how you feel. Some girls have pain the first few times of having sex but the best you can do is make sure you're really relaxed and comfortable...hopefully, most of the painful stuff will be out of the way and you and your boyfriend can start enjoying the better part of sex.
2006-09-28 11:41:45 · answer #3 · answered by Munchy Mooneo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might not be all that aware of how to relax you and get you ready for penetration. Having sex for the first time is usually painful because you are nervous. Try to have a lot of foreplay, and have him try fingering you first to try and get you loosened up a bit. Use lots of lube if that is an issue it will certainly hurt because of friction, I call it shag burn (you know, like rug burn, because shag is a type of carpet as well as a slang term for sex hahahahaha). Try not to worry about how much pain you will have, this will only make you tense and your muscles, including the ones in your nether-regions, will be tensed too. Or, you could practice on your own using a dildo or a vibrator working up to a size that is similar to a real penis, or whatever and get used to relaxing, what is good, and how much you can handle.
2006-09-28 10:48:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Control the event from start to finish. Proceed only when you are ready and in a way that provides the greatest pleasure. A Little lubricant may also be in order. You should also spend some time getting to know yourself. Find out what makes you go crazy and you will be able to have fun and enjoy each encounter.
2006-09-28 10:46:35 · answer #5 · answered by Miss Battery 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont budge till you are ready - its not a problem. However, it does hurt the first time and your boyfriend needs to spend a long time making sure you are ready - if you spend time together doing everything but full intercourse, you will know yourself when your body and mind are ready to go further again. It will be fine if you call the shots and he spends a long time on you and your needs - sexually.
This is time to learn about each other and what feels good for you - dont rush. It will be fine and you have experienced what many many girls feel. Dont worry.
2006-09-28 10:47:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not need to be pressured to have sex! Sex is something sacred to be shared with two loving adults. I get that you feel for him, but he needs to be sensitive to this area. LITERALLY. Tell him to take it slow and easy. Save all the thrusting and thrashing for later. You must be well lubricated also. yes, I know this sounds a lil porno but seriously not to sound gross but if you aren't it will hurt. Doesn't matter how many times you have or have not had sex...you still need lubrication. Go to Walmart and pick some up or do plenty of foreplay whichever works best for you and him.
2006-09-28 10:51:10 · answer #7 · answered by Leash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you wanting to have sex for you? If YOU want to have sex for yourself and not just to please him. Than try these ideas.
first off and most importantly you need alot of foreplay. It takes the average woman 20 minutes to get to an orgasm. Kissing touching caressing etc. YOU need this.He does not need it like you do. Without it you will not get aroused, and you will not get lubricated and it will hurt.
Secondly, go slow with the penetration.use a condom with some sort of spermicide or lubrication on it. It is so important that not only are you protecting yourself but that you have lubrication.
Thirdly, masturbate. Excite yourself or find out what is exciting to yourself so you can show him how to touch you.Put your fingers inside of yourself so you can get use to it. There is nothing wrong with masturbation.As soon as you can get yourself to an orgasm, it will be so much easier for anyone else to. Since you will know what you like. Penetrate yourself slowly.
RELAX, have fun.but don't sell yourself out,enjoy it. Make sure your communicating to him your needs and that he fulfills them. Just as you should his needs.
2006-09-28 10:49:33 · answer #8 · answered by loladoreen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try It Again. The more you do it, the less pain you feel. Am sure the poor guy must have been shocked thinking you would have had good fun. Also try some changing positions when having sex, it may help.
2006-09-28 11:12:14 · answer #9 · answered by Chidi N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex shouldnt be painful, try working up to it or more foreplay, if its more than that go see your doctor. I went out with a small lady for some time and we used ky jelly and lots of foreplay but she was never totally relaxed until we were actually having sex, so trying to relax might help too.
2006-09-28 10:47:35 · answer #10 · answered by cedley1969 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try to explain to ur boyfriend exactly how ur feeling & ask him if ye can take things slowly...
try to relax totally,why not engage in some foreplay for a while to relax urself...
don't just carry on if ur in pain,thats not fair on u & it will in no way solve the problem...
there are lots of lubricants that u can also use which will help you....
good luck!!!
2006-09-28 11:01:18 · answer #11 · answered by Lola 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋