My bf and i are legally married a week and told our families we were engaged not to disappoint them. And we planned on just having a wedding cermony where both families could come and then being none the wiser. But i just found out at a regular check up that i am almost 2 months pregnant?Walking down the asle pregnant?good idea or bad he wants to plan a wedding for no later that december!Does the catholic church allow pregnant woman to get married pregnant?
2006-09-28 10:29:56 · 23 answers · asked by kelly v 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Both families are catholic
2006-09-28 10:31:13 · update #1
We thought we could just take the marriage in vegas as an engagement and then have a ceremony 6 months later.
2006-09-28 10:32:17 · update #2
The marriage in vegas as an accident and i am still in my last year of college so we do not live together.
2006-09-28 10:35:39 · update #3
The Catholic Church allows pregnant women to get married, after all, you are committing yourself to your husband with God as a witness so it doesn't matter if you are pregnant or not. Dont worry.
If you do worry about it showing choose a dress with an A line skirt or Empire waist, which will allow you to move freely and won't let the pregnancy show.
I say enjoy all the blessings you are having in your life right now and don't worry abou it.
If you need additional things for your wedding I suggest you check out: www.theknot.com
they have everything from gowns to venues and extras.
Hope this helps!
2006-09-28 10:35:06 · answer #1 · answered by White 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow, this is a complicated situation, especially with a Catholic family! (I come from a Catholic background, so I hear you!) If you do go ahead and get married by December, you probably won't be showing enough for the Church to even have to know. However, if you do it later, you will definitely have to tell them. The pregnant thing is generally a Church by Church or Dioscese by Dioscese thing. Talk to your local priest and ask them what he thinks you should do. However, either way, the priest HAS to know this is a "renewal of vows" and not a wedding...the paperwork is not the same, but the ceremony should be.
2006-09-28 18:29:52 · answer #2 · answered by Esma 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Catholic church would want you to get married before the baby. That's why I had a "shot gun" wedding myself.
My parents are die hard Catholics, and the priest had them convinced marriage was the only way their grandchild should be entering this world.
I was 6 months pregnant, and picked out the worst dress for my wedding. Do you know how many times I needed help going to the bathroom with a huge dress? Pick a simple dress that won't be a problem with the many pregnant bathroom breaks- just some advice!
2006-09-28 18:18:54 · answer #3 · answered by BuffyFromGP 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off if youre already married the catholic church would technically be renewing your vows. They will not refuse to renew your vows because you are pregnant! Secondly, times have changed so there are many things the church will allow now that they wouldnt have 10 years ago. Each church also has their own rules and regulations where premarital sex and such are concerned. The only way for you to be sure that the place you wish to have your public ceremony at will allow you to have it while pregnant is to ask. Be SURE you tell them that you are already legally married though and that you are having a ceremony for the friends and family. They tend to take into consideration that they arent changing anything status-wise, legally OR morally.
2006-09-28 17:49:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Tell the priest the truth. Yes, he will still marry you pregnant. Besides you are already married. At the end instead of pronouncing you husband & wife he could announce that you got married x monthes ago. Everyone will be shocked!
They will make you go though Engaged Encounter or Pre-Cana 1st. This is Catholic Marriage Prep classes. EE is one weekend at a retreat house. I don't know about Pre-Cana , since I did EE. Usually the R.C. Church makes people wait a year before they can be married, but legally you are already married.
Keep in mind, the priest will not be marring you, he will just give you "the Sacrament of Matrimony", & you will probaby renew your vowes & exchange rings. It will look just like any othe wedding.
As far as walking down the aisle pregnant, you probably won't be showing much.
2006-09-28 17:47:32 · answer #5 · answered by ee 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Uh, how is it an oops when both of you had to be there and consenting and everything? Oops is slipping on a banana peel, girl. Call it what it is. You got caught. Don't be continuing to lie to your parents, that is just sick. You are already married, correct? Civil ceremony? Gone is the "big wedding", girl. Get on with your life from this point on - have close family over for a family dinner. Yes, the Catholic church will marry someone who is pregnant - but you are already married, and you obviously show contempt for the church if you put the cart before the horse. Don't get all religious now..... Hope you talk to your family asap and get on with your honest life from now on.
2006-09-29 00:34:30 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Yes, the Catholic church would prefer you to walk down the aisle pregnant rather than have the baby out of wedlock.
Do not have two wedding ceremonies. That would be in very poor taste. You get one wedding per marriage.
You are married now. Just send out wedding announcements.
2006-09-29 16:11:38 · answer #7 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Its easier to forgive a mistake rather than a cover up and deliberate lie. Dont start you married life on a lie you will really hurt your families much more than you may think and they are the ones you love most and the grandparents of your new little one. Pressure from religious families can be immense and I feel for you but starting out lying is the wrong way to go. Even "good Catholics" are human, they make wrong decisions sometimes...so maybe you did too. Whether you did or not you will continue to have to lie to them over & over & over to keep this charade going. You will hate yourself for it and they will certainly hate you for it, whereas they will be hurt cause you let them down etc. but they'll get over it but once you have lied to them both families of course will be saying "it must have been so and so" (your partner) cause my son/daughter would never lie to me, and then they'll hate your partner and never trust them. Is it worth it in the long run? They will admire your honesty and appreciate how much guts it took to tell them and in time they will come to terms with it I'm sure, especially when they see their beautiful little grandchild. Good Luck. Remember its often godly love that helps families come through tough times.Dont' sell them short.
2006-09-28 17:53:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many years ago a friend of mine eloped with her Catholic boyfriend. His parents loved her ,but were very old fashioned and wanted them to have a "real" wedding. Three years later they re-married in a church wedding--by this time they had a son and she was pregnant with their daughter. They recently celebrated their 20th,and 23rd anniversaries! His parents have long passed ,but both have always been happy that they gave them that peace of mind before they died.
It was a real fun wedding and reception!
2006-09-28 17:55:42 · answer #9 · answered by patlrussell 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can check with your priest. my in-laws were both 19 when they got married. my MIL was pregnant and the church wouldn't marry them. They had to be married in a congregationalist church instead. Of course this was like 30 years ago so I sure the rules have loosened a little.
2006-09-29 08:48:12 · answer #10 · answered by Jenn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋