My 2 year old won't go to bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

I have a two year old daughter, and two year olds are supposed to go to bed at 7 or 8 right? Well she doesn't finally pass out till 11 or 12!!! I work full time and so does her Dad. We are exhausted!! I am so tired, I just want to SLEEP! Plus I have no ME time so sometimes I go days without showers, I have no time for myself! I'm going crazy, What do I do?

It's just a struggle at bedtime she just says NO NO NO NO and cries like she's dieing! And crawls out of her toddler bed over and over.

She takes a normal 2 hour nap during the day and wakes usually around 3 or 3:30

Answer 1

I have a 2 yr old & she's the total opposite, I'm not trying to rub it in but she usually has a nap about the same time maybe earlier depending on what time she woke in the morning, she goes to bed a 7 & can't wait to get there!

Our routine consists of this;
5pm - Tea Time
5 - 6pm - Play time
6pm - Bath time
6.15pm - Into pyjamas

If you have the Cbeebies channel I suggest at 6.30pm you put it on. We watch the Fimbles then a bedtime story comes on & then the bedtime song just before 7pm, we sing along to it (well, I sing to it!) then she knows it's time for bed, if you keep the last half hour before her bedtime calm & try not to let her get too excited she should be ready for a good nights sleep! I put my daughter to bed with a cup of milk.

Just find a routine that suits you all & stick to it because the slightest change will throw them off!

Hope this helps, good luck!

Answer 2

There is no quick and easy solution. Whatever you do is going to take time and patience and you're going to be a lot more tired before things get better. You somehow have to just decide that you're not going to give in anymore and she is going to HAVE to sleep on her own. Don't try to go straight from an 11:00 bedtime to an 8:00. Try 10:30 a few nights, then 10:00, etc. Then, unfortunatley, you'll probably have to let her cry. We put up a baby gate in our daughter's doorway and just and if she cries, she cries. She eventually goes back to her own bed and falls asleep. If you have a predictable routine before bedtime and don't change a thing no matter what she does, eventually things will start to work out. I know that some people just keep taking their child back to bed by the hand until they fall asleep. This didn't work for us. The crying is hard to listen to but kids can handle more than we think they can. Good luck.

Answer 3

First of all, try starting a bedtime routine. Do the same things, in the same order, at the same time, every night. For my little boy...we go this way....
1-Have dinner.
2-Take a bath.
3-Brush our teeth.
4-Put on pajamas.
5-Take allergy medicine (He has bad seasonal allergies, so we do this every night, his prescription)
6-Read a book or talk about the day.
7-Get milk.
8-Get into bed.

Alright, once you've figured out your routine, make a chart! Not like a reward chart or a sticker chart, just a great big list with lots of colors and sparklies and such. Use the chart to demonstrate what we do each night before bed. When your daughter stalls...or starts to deviate from the routine....pull out the chart and ask her what we do next. This is one of the great suggestions from the book "Positive Discipline: The First Three Years".

Next, when you finally get her into the bed, give her a kiss, a hug, whatever, and leave the room. If she protests and continues to rise, again and again, do not speak to her. Do not say a single word. Do not spank her. Do not threaten her. Gently pick her up, or take her by the hand, and return her to bed. Do this as many times as necessary, for as many nights as necessary. Make the return trip to bed as boring and uneventful as possible. Once she realizes that it is no longer fun to stay up, she may be keener on sleeping.

A few more tips, do watch her caffeine and sugar intake after around 4 pm. And make sure she is not sleeping too much during the day, most pediatricians recommend that a child who is 2 or 3 years old does not have to be forced to nap during the day, if they don't seem to be tired. Also, do bedtime at the same time EVERY night!

As well, You say your daughter is 2, the recommended amount of sleep for 1-3 year olds is 10-13 hours. Think about the time your child gets up....if she rises at 7am...she may be perfectly fine staying up until 9...or she may need to be asleep by 6 or 7, if she doesn't nap. However, if she is able to sleep until 10am, and does, then she may not need to go to bed until sometime between 9 and 12 the night before. You should try to wake her at the same time every morning, as well as putting her down at the same time every night.

Answer 4

your daughter is sleeping too long and too late in the day. Cut it down to half an hour or an hour after lunch. After dinner no sweets or sugary drinks and start the bedtime routine. After dinner let her watch her favourite program or video for half an hour and then it's bath time. When you take her to her room, make sure the TV in the living room is off and there is no distractions. Read her a story and settle her in her bed. Sit on the floor next to her with your hand on the bed, that way she knows you are there and not going anywhere. If she gets out of bed or sits up, tell her softly it's bed time and put her back down. She won't like it and will kick off when she realises that she isn't going to get her own way but don't engage in conversation with her . Be prepared for a few long nights but don't give in! it will only make things harder because she will know that what you say isn't always what you mean, even if it takes a week or two it will work.Some times parents think they are being a bad mum or dad if they say no to their children and don't like to see them upset, but remember she is learning from you and kids need boundaries for their own good. If you stick to the routine it will become normal for her and she will know what is going to happen at bedtime.

Answer 5

An early bedtime for a toddler is essential, like us adults, lack of sleep makes us tired and irritable! 7pm is a more than acceptable bedtime for a 2 yr old.
Is there any way of making her tired by doing some sort of infant gym class or something. Running round the park for a while, playing on swings, general physical activity usually tires a tot out.. I know it does me!
Possibly bringing her nap time forward an hour or so and cutting the napping by half an hour may help.
Don't allow her to watch any tv after 5pm, as this will over stimulate her.
Reading her a story at her bedtime at 7pm may help to soothe.
I had this problem with my son when he was a tot, so I had to resort to ignoring him whenever he got out of his bed.Only getting up to put him back to bed. I tried to avoid any confrontation by saying firmly but gently that it was bedtimeand not entering into any other verbalisation with him. He would cry or attempted crying ( attention seeking) for ages but I persevered and he eventually stopped. I knew he wasn't actually upset just wanted the attention.
It took a couple or 3 weeks for it to work but my method worked.
I fully sympathise with you and you deserve some ME time, every parent does..it's an essential part of your life. You are still an individual even though you are now a parent. You are a woman just as much as Mummy!

Answer 6

Is she taking a nap during the day and if so, what time and for how long. I would say that 7 is early for a two year old...I put my 4 year olds to bed at 8 and sometimes I think this is too early, but by that time I need piece of mind. Try giving her a soothing bath...there is a soap made by J & J that will help relax her. What does her diet consist of...no sugar or red dye's in it to make her hyper...develop a routine and once that is established, when she gets out of bed, simply pick her back up and tell her it's time to go to sleep. But, if it is a case of sleeping too much / too late in the day...you are going to have to talk to your child care provider.

Answer 7

My 2 year old just went through this - i think it must be a phase - it lasted 1 1/2 wks and I understand the exhaustion - My husband and I would give a bath after dinner, and make sure the Tv was off, then it was story time and then the lights went off. My son fell asleep with one of us on the couch in about 15 min and we were sure to praise him the next morning of being a "good boy" and a "big boy" and we were so proud that he slept in his bed all night. It seemed to work - I think maybe he thought we stayed up and partied when he went to bed, then he started going to bed by himself. We also did not let him have his favorite toy or watch his fave movie until he was going to bed on his own. That worked wonders - but it took us a week to think of that one! Hope this helps! ***My son also would scream and cry like he was dying - it is sooooo hard and that is why I just let him fall alseep on the couch with us - the whole supernanny thing did NOT work for us - it was over an hour and he was almost throwing up from crying so hard - just be patient and it will pass....good luck

Answer 8

Unfortunately there's no easy answer to your question.It is a battle of wills.If you are determined to make a change you can try putting her to bed at a certain time,after she's had a bath,then read her a story.After the story say good night and go out of the room calmly.She will probably run after you shouting and screaming.If she comes out of the room pick her up and take her silently back into bed.You will have to repeat this many many times-especially on the first night-it sounds horrendous but it does get better.She will soon learn that this is what is going to happen and eventually she will go to sleep quietly-then you can have some time for you,which is so important.

Answer 9

Sounds like she misses her mommy and daddy. Make sure that you spend sometime with just your baby. Turn off the phone and leave the dust bunnies for an hour. Play her favorite games, read her favorite stories, then put her to bed with a lot of kisses. It will take time, but if she gets out of bed then put her back without talking to her and walk out of her room. She may scream for a couple of nights, but this will pass. When she does go to bed the way she should- praise her in the morning. Maybe set her up on an award system. If she goes to bed, then she gets a prize.

Answer 10

Hi! The absolute key is to be CONSISTENT... she is at the perfect of age using tantrums to get out of what she wants... she is smart.... however, there are a few things that you can do, that are hard let me warn you, but will be affective, it might take 2-3 days or 1-2 weeks (most definitly not that long, unless you are not consistent). The 3 B's: bath, book, and bed.

First "B" Bath: about an hour before bed time lets say, 7:00 pm, you start to relax as a family, lights become dimmer and at this time it is not time to play anymore. If this is a struggle set a timer about 5 minutes before 7:00 amd give a nice polite warning, when the timer goes off it is time to get ready for bed. At 7:00 sharp, stop whatever you are all doing, clean up her toys (quickly) if she has any laying out, and take her hand to get ready for her bath. Use chamomile and lavendar baby bath wash, the aromas tend to sooth anyone before bed. After bath, make it no longer than 10 minutes, this is not a play time!!! Thats important, play soothing music in the background, dim the lights in the bathroom, and keep your voice low. Get out, get dried off and head into bed.

Second "B": Book, read no more than 3 stories!!! And pick them out together, let her choose and emphasize you will read 3 stories and then you must go to sleep. Quietly lay with her, keeping the lights low. After all the stories are read, say "now its time to go to sleep"

Last "B" Bed: do you kisses and tell her you are going to "shut off the light" and then leave. DO NOT SAY ANYTHING after that. Get up no matter what kind of crying goes on, and either shut the door, or keep the door cracked.
Go out and act normally, with the crying and all, she will eventually get to sleep. If she gets out of bed to get you... DO NOT TALK TO HER, preferrably take her hand and walk together back to the bedroom, if she doesn't want to comply with walking herself pick her up, and place her in bed and shut or crack the door.

This will be difficult at first, important keys be consistent, explain to your partner the plan, and DO NOT TALK to her.
Hope this helps!!