does anyone else feel this way?

Question

Earlier I posted a question about how society is to blame for alot of our lost youth. A teacher responded to my question by saying it is the parents fault. But let me ask you this? Do we not as parents trust in the system that is supposed to protect our children. Do we not as parents have to work long hours just to be able to provide for the demands of that system. If the parents rely on the system such as schools, teachers, counselors, and any other aid that they need to maintain balance in their lifes, then whos fault is it the
parents, or the parents who rely on the system? I was so very angry by the teacher comment, because it wasnt her child it's not her responsibility. So who's is it? Every child is our future and therfore it is our responsibility as a sociey to ensure our future, if we dont how will we ever have one.

Answer 1

I have to agree with you. The teacher needs to understand that when we say society is at fault we, as a part of society are accepting a piece of that blame also, while at the same time acknowledging that many other external factors are playing a big part.

Answer 2

I agree it is the parents position and responsibility to raise our children teach them right from wrong, and give them the tools they need to succeed. However, parents do rely on teachers, school counselor and such as our children go to school to keep us informed of behaviors that are exhibited while at school that need to be addressed. It is not the teachers responsibility to teach the children manners and respect. Only to give them the educational tools they need to succeed in life. So, it is a team effort. However, if you do not as a parent do your job to teach your children right form wrong the teacher can not in a few hours a few months a year teach any one child to do the right thing and be a responsible citizen within society. So, in a way i agree. Go back and read what she wrote perhaps you were so angry you miss read it. I did not see the question you posted or her answer so i cannot comment. But I do know that teachers are dealing with many children who are very rude, disrespectful and when they call the parents to tell them they have to deal with the ignorance and disrespect of the parents. Instead of the parents supporting them they are worse than the children. And we wonder why the children act the way they do, well look who is raising the children. Good luck

Answer 3

It is EVERYONE'S responsibility to raise the children who will eventually be ruling this planet. Everyone has to lead by example and instill the values that we wish these children to live by.
It is not the responsibility of one single person- teachers, to some extent, are involved in molding these minds, but I do think that values begin at home. The first school a child ever attends is the school of Mommy and Daddy, and so parents have a greater responsibility than any one else to teach their children. The system should back it up though.

Apologies if this doesn't make sense- may have started rambling!

Answer 4

I didn't see your earlier question. One has to look at who is responsible for what. Teachers are responsible for teaching subject material and skills. Parents are responsible for teaching about morals and values and the defining issues of life.
The issue of who is to blame is not as simple as we would like. I have worked with troubled youth for most of my adult life - I'm 37. And yes I am a parent of two.
To blame society is difficult - because what exactly is society and how can one blame a collective of strangers for the brokenness of individuals.
There are many reasons young people get off track - one is the loss of extended family when they are in difficulty at home. That busyness that comes with parents working hard to pay off high mortgages. Of course divorce and abuse are much higher on the list. A child should be protected at school definitely. But when a child goes off the rails it hasn't just happened - there has sometimes been years of feeling disconnected from parents or loved ones prior to this. It's the people at home who have the time to notice this - not busy teachers.
From my perspective, I cannot give responsibility to a secular society for my child's upbringing. My worldview dictates that I am responsible for my child until they reach an age of responsibility.
Whatever the case it is a nightmare for parents whose child has got lost along the way. You need all the support you can get.

Answer 5

This is why they say it takes a village to raise a child, but the teacher who responded to you apparently doesn't feel that's the case. True, parents do bear the bulk of responsibility for how our children are raised. However, what happens at school can be emotionally devastating to children, be it because of underachievement, bullying, social pressure, etc. The schools do little to stop children from torturing each other, either psychologically or physically. And, since most schools seem test oriented, the teachers seem busier trying to push kids through a testing system than actually trying to get children to love learning for its own sake. This forces many children to feel like they're "failures", when in fact it's the rigid system that they're being forced into that is the real failure. For instance, highly creative children often do poorly in structured environments, but succeed well after college.

I guess the bottom line is that we should depend on no one but ourselves to protect our children. You heard it straight from the horse's mouth: schools don't care about the individual child.

Answer 6

I think it's the parents responsibility, period. And I'm just a parent, not a teacher or part of any "system". Teachers are paid to educate, not to raise children. Things like morals, behaviors, social skills, respect for others, humility, responsibility on and on and on are soley the responsibility of parents.

Many factors cause many parents to be unable or unwilling to teach their children how to behave towards themselves or others. Worse yet - some parents actually TEACH their children their own bad behaviors and attitudes. The result can be "lost youth" - but each one is an individual case, not "society's fault". But if say 12% of the population of children end up without proper parenting, then it seems like society as a whole is the cause! It seems that blaming "society" is just a scapegoat to avoid accepting responsibility for parental obiligations...

Anyone that is relying on a "system" to do something for them instead of taking responsibility for it themselves, is likely to be very disappointed with the end result. As the old saying goes - "If you want something done right - do it yourself!"

Answer 7

I think the blame should be shared equally by parents and the system. For the first five years of a child's life, he/she needs to be guided by parents and daycare workers. Once a child reaches school age, schools NEED and SHOULD help with "raising" children. They need to not only teach our children but show them how to respect others. Again, these duties should be shared by parents and schools and whoever else children come in contact with. I don't believe the blame should be laid entirely at the parents' feet, especially if parents are doing their damndest to raise their children to the best of their abilities.

My daughter just started kindergarten, which is MUCH different from daycare. The students HAVE to learn respect for their classmates and teachers. They cannot run around all day, like they were able to at home or daycare. I'm counting on her teachers to HELP her learn respect, and confidence, and discipline, and a little bit of self-control. I'm hoping by the end of kindergarten, she will be a changed girl, and love school, and have tons of friends, and be a bit more respectful towards me, and towards everyone else. My daughter is intelligent and eager to please adults, so I have no doubts that she will always do well in school.

Answer 8

Society is not to blame for anything, society is a scapegoat for what the parents cannot control. Parents need to learn how to seperate school and home, dont trust the school to be your childs parent. School is just for learning, the parent is the one who teaches the kids morals and right from wrong. Parents are to blame. If parents would actually punish their kids and remember they are the parents and they make the rules then society wouldnt be in this mess. Some kids are just flat out bad, but most of them its b/c their parents think they could do no wrong and never punish them when they do. And by punish not a timeout or whatever, beating that kids ***, the best motivator is fear and kids will stop acting crazy if they know they will get the hell knocked out of them for it (not literal since but yes their *** whooped). Seperate the two, dont act like school should have to teach your kid EVERYTHING and you do nothing but give them food and a roof, thats not being a parent thats a damn shelter. The teacher was right.......

Answer 9

Uh, no. It's the parent's responsibility to raise the child. Take responsibility for your own children and get involved! I would never "trust the system". You yourself said that society is to blame for problems, then why in the world would you ever trust that society to raise your child??!! Teachers are there to teach, not impart moral codes, protect, or turn kids in to constructive citizens. That is the parent's job. This is your first job even if you have to earn money at another one. Remember you are not providing for the system, you are providing for your children.

Answer 10

This can go 'round and 'round on whose to blame. All you can do is pray for the lost youth and hope for a better and brighter future. Parents have a responsibility to their kids, but society does play a big part in childrens life. Society says don't punish, or spank your kids for it will warp their personalities and lower their self esteem but that's just a bunch of junk. If your children do bad they should be punished and if the do good then they should get a reward.

Answer 11

I'm afraid that I disagree. One cannot abdicate the responsibilities of parenting to any other societal entity, including the school system, religion, or the state. A successful parent monitors what his or her children are learning in school to the point that if any objections arise, they will be addressed promptly. The idea that the schools will magically produce ethical, critically thinking children is unrealistic. The parents are ultimately responsible for rearing intellectually capable, moral, and self-sufficient children.