Ok...My friend just got engaged and is planning to get married in December of 2007 because she is just about to start school and will be done October of 2007. SHe planned the wedding for December because of 'financial reasons'. SHe will have student loans to pay off, and she just told me they are taking out a loan for $18k for the wedding!! I think this is crazy since neither of them have good jobs (she is a waitress at the olive garden....) I know it is NOT good to start off a marriage in debt, so should I say anything to her? I totally respect their decisions, but I just worry about them =0( What to do...what to do....
2006-09-28 09:30:13 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I guarantee they will get divorced!! I am 99% sure that she does not love him...she just wants to be married! She thinks being married is all sunshine and lollipops, but nothing really changes when you are married! SHe has cheated on her fiance with her ex numerous times and always talks about how she wants to break up with him and get back with her ex...now they are engaged!! WTF? People are just frustrating sometimes. How does she expect me to be happy for her when she knows that I know that she doesn't love him?
2006-09-28 09:38:08 · update #1
Some marraiges are doomed for failure from the very start :(
2006-09-28 09:32:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if she did not ask you for advice then there is really nothing you can do. If she asked what you think, I would just tell her how you feel ...
I think too many people get caught up in throwing this lavish wedding and having all this *stuff." I recently married and my hubby and I have very good jobs and money in the bank ... but we did not take out any loans. We did accrue about $6,000 in credit card debt which we will have paid off by the end of the year. It is good to pay for as much as you can up front, cut your budget where you can, leave out certain items, and just to downsize the wedding a bit so it doesn't turn into a money pit.
2006-09-28 09:39:59 · answer #2 · answered by J.Z. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every couple that I know that spent a lot on their wedding when they were first starting out regrets it. They would be better off using that money as a down payment on a Condo or Townhouse. Because then they will have a place to live and they will build equity in the house. BUT - you cannot talk sense into people who are in love and want a dream wedding. You can take her out for drinks one night and say "I know you want the childhood dream wedding, everybody does but what about using that money to pay off your bills or find a small house to buy'. Tell her that you'd be happy to help plan a nice and fun wedding that is lower budget. Tell her it's just because you love her and you will support anything she does.
2006-09-28 09:40:05 · answer #3 · answered by ggirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about: Even though she is your friend, NONE OF THIS IS YOUR BUSINESS!!!! Whether she loves him or not has absolutely nothing to do with you. If she spends 18k on a wedding to a guy she doesn't love, it isn't going to effect you at all so why waste your time worrying about someone elses problems. Stay out of it and you will feel alot better. The main problem in this world is that people feel too much, they care too much, they love too much. Just live your own life and let everyone else do the same!
2006-09-28 12:08:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You feel for your friend--that's great. She's making a huge mistake, and it's hard to stand by.
As a friend, you can't stop her. You can tell her what you think, but you can't stop her from doing anything. If this is her dream wedding, she's going to get it regardless of the debt that will be looking her in the face for the next 30 years and each time they try to buy a house or a car.
As a friend, be there for her. She's sounds like someone who is trying to make up for something, and it sounds like her marriage isn't going to be as strong as it could be. Be there for her with open arms and NEVER say "I told you so."
2006-09-28 10:19:31 · answer #5 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...your additional details prove that she isn't very smart. Taking out a loan for a wedding is absoulutely ridiculous. You shuld only spend what you can afford. Starting a marriage with unneccessary debt is stupid.
Of course, so is marrying someone you cheat on and don't even want to be with. You can say something to her-but is she even going to care what you have to say?
She seems very selfish (marrying someone knowing she'd rather be with someone else) and ignorant.
2006-09-28 09:52:49 · answer #6 · answered by abbya11111 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She must know how risky it is to take out a loan to pay for a wedding. Apparently, all of the cons outweigh the one pro of being able to have the wedding of her dreams.
You can say something to her if you want, but it won't do any good. Be warned...this one is going to be a bridezilla. No sane woman takes out an 18K loan to pay for a wedding.
2006-09-28 09:38:19 · answer #7 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people think that if they spend a lot of money on a wedding, the marriage will last- of course this is complete B.S. Do you really think that you could change her mind? If so, tell her something- anything! She'll probably still be paying it off after the divorce.
2006-09-28 09:40:09 · answer #8 · answered by TJD 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say use the internet and find all sorts of stuff on weddings. Send her emails and have chats about planning. Every bride to be loves to chat about that. Casually slip in what experts say about taking a loan for the wedding. Then switch to chatting about color schemes. Don't do it in an obvious way but I agree with you. You have the wedding you can afford.
2006-09-28 09:38:51 · answer #9 · answered by bubb1e_gir1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, what a pair of idiots. I could NEVER imagine taking a 18K loan out for a wedding. I say if you cant afford it you cant afford it. They are setting themselves up for a nice quick divorce. You can try and say something but I dont think she will listen and she might even jump to the conclusion that your jealous. Let them make their own mistakes.
2006-09-28 09:36:50 · answer #10 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As her friend (if she really cares for you as you obviously do her), she should at least listen politely, even if she - just as politely - tells you to go jump in a lake!
Sure you can say something, but it doesn't mean she's going to do anything to alter her decision. It IS a lot of money (about 2/3 of my annual income!), but to each her own. Just remind her that $18K is a LOT of money (under any circumstances) when 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Her marriage may not be one - but is it worth a $25K+ (after interest) bet??
2006-09-28 09:34:51 · answer #11 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋