Would you move up your wedding date if???

Question

I just told my future husband that i got a positive pregnanct test i was so excited and scared! He on the other hand wants to move up the wedding day because he is afraid of how it will look if i walk down the isle pregnant and is panicking about what his italian mommy will think of this aparently she liked me when we met and the rest of his family did too we all got along and my spanish family is coming around to him and he is afraid this will mess things up? Is he taking this too far?I mean we are 24, and 25 years old not children and he does not want anyone to know it is almost like he is embarrassed of me being pregnant?Our familys are both catholic too mine are probably stricter than his!

I feel hurt by this what should i do go along with it?we were suppose to marry in the spring now he wants it to be next month!I am only a month along!Wont it be really obvious to everyone the reason it was moved up?

Answer 1

just do it! what is the big deal? the family is going to know either way. wouldn't you rather have them all have a smile on their face next month, than snicker and be angry next spring? get married now, the only thing in the way is your ego. get married happily now, rather than "your way" and bitterly later. it really will be unnecessary to ruin what could be a wonderful, beautiful wedding now.

Answer 2

He has legitimate fears, especially if families are strict. He probably is embarrassed that you're pregnant. No matter what you do now, it will look like you're getting married because you're pregnant.

He is not taking this too far. I assume we're only talking about moving the wedding up a few months. That's no big deal, really, especially if the invitations haven't gone out yet. Do you really want to look big and pregnant in your wedding dress? Also think of how physically uncomfortable you will be later in your pregnancy. I think you'd have a better time at the wedding if you moved it up.

Another option is to push the wedding BACK until after the baby is born. That way, no one can say that you got married just because you were pregnant, and you'll be able to enjoy yourself at your wedding. But it isn't a good option if you have strict families.

Answer 3

I had a friend that was engaged and got pregnant-they moved their wedding up. I think they had it 2 or 3 months after they found out.

I guess there are a few to think about
-Would you be able to put a wedding together in a few months?
-Are you going to tell your family your pregnant no matter when the wedding is? Aren't they going to figure out why you moved the wedding when you have a baby 6 months after the wedding? Then they're probably just going to feel like you tried to deceive them.

My advice would be to be honest with everyone about the pregnancy. If you'd rather not be 8 or 9 months pregnant walking down the aisle, have it earlier-or even after the baby is born.

Getting pregnant now probably isn't the most ideal situation....but at at least you have plans to get married. It's not like you guys have been dating for a couple months and you got pregnant.

Answer 4

Hello. I am going on to my 1 year anniversary being married and am now 6 months pregnant.. and can offer you this..

this is a tricky question.i know how you feel about him maybe feeling embarrassed of the pregnancy.. but talk to him.. communicate and see if that is what he truly feels. this is key is marriage!! and i am pregnant and believe you me.. this is a wonderful time for you both and yet a nervous time. b/c you are not married and are thinking about what everyone else Will think. the family might know sooner than later that you got pregnant before marriage with the due date and the other information being off.. so keep this in mind as well... also think about your wedding pictures and you being a in your second trimester.. only you and him can answer this question.. and if you love each other that much i know that all will work out. A baby is a blessing! Please rem that.. and in the end of a storm there is peace. I know that this child will bring so much love and happiness to both sides of your family! Congratulations!

Answer 5

If you move your wedding date up suddenly everyone is going to know whats going on, anyway, especially when you pop out a spud six months later. So this is totally your call, dude is being silly, it's the whole pregnant significant other thing, he's going to feel weird that people will know you 'did it' whether you're married or not.

You were gonna get married anyway, the only item I'll bring to your attention is watermelon-carrier wedding photos. Though most people won't start 'showing' until they're 6 months along, and winter weddings are cheaper.

Heck, if I were you, I'd wait until AFTER the kid is born and weaned so you can enjoy your honeymoon.

Or elope now. Really, screw the families and do what you feel is best, they'll get over it.
This is YOUR lives, and you're not 10 anymore, they can't ground you.

Answer 6

I really can't say. A friend of mine was in the same predicament before she got married. She only got pregnant two months before the wedding. She wasn't gonna show so they kep the date the same. No one suspected anything. Until seven months later when there was magically a baby, healthy and full-term. People can count. But they didn't let it get to them. They were married and now had a beautiful son together. Nothing changed for them (except what normally changes when you have a baby)

My suggestion is don't get married without telling his mom. If you love him I don't see why you can't bump it a little earlier. It's fun to be able to focus on your wedding without having baby be that big an issue. But it's unfair to his parents to not know this.

You two are adults and you knew full well the consequences of sleeping together. By deciding to do it you accepted the consequences (ie pregnancy) You are going to do what's best for the baby. And no one wants to worry about a wedding (that's a lot of stress really) when she is 6, 7, 8 months pregnant. You two were going to get married anyway so it shouldn't cause a problem.

I'd say do it, but not to hide the fact that you are pregnant. LIke it or not the fam is gonna notice. Do it so you can have a nice wedding for yourselves. Then focus on the baby.

Just think two kinds of showers in less then a year. You guys on gonna be loaded!!!! =D

Congratulations!

Answer 7

The lead question is "Would you..."
The answer is YES. Yes, I sure as hell would move up my wedding date, because the marriage is about the long haul of a family. One day, and of course not now because you're normal self centered bride, you will care more about your child than yourself. And when that little child puts the dates together and asks you if you were pregnant when you got married, the reality is, you'll lie. It's easy to be logical and cold when you don't have a child of your own that has an innocence and trust that only you can help keep, but one day, you'll get it.
The family story in 15 years will be "She got pregnant on their honeymoon". Everyone will smile and say awwww. And everyone will know the truth, even your child ONCE THEY ARE AN ADULT AND INNOCENCE IS LOST; until then, give up the center of the world mentality because you're going to be a mother. Give what you were given and more.

Answer 8

Get married now. It doesn't matter what your families think, but it might matter when you have to explain to your son and daughter someday when they can do the math.
You two are old enough to handle this without the families interfering. I am not Catholic, but know many that are. If you are both strict Catholic, will you not have a problem with the wedding anyway, meaning the type of ceremony that is acceptable under the circumstances? I don't think it is wrong of him to be concerned about the appearance of his future wife walking down the aisle obviously pregnant. In my opinion, a big wedding ceremony in the Catholic Church, under those circumstances is a big joke, and a hypocrisy.
If it were my daughter, I would encourage her to marry as soon as possible, without going overboard on a huge ceremony. Next month is probably not early enough!

Answer 9

As a Catholic yourself, you should know it is a VERY big deal. It makes no difference that you were already planning to get married. This kind of attitude is why I think all organized religion should be banned, lol. It seems to be all about "appearances", rather than common sense. If it is possible to move the wedding up, then do it. Your fiance is just looking out for you, and trying to avoid any family problems. Don't be hurt-be grateful he cares about how his family will treat you.

Answer 10

First, God bless you for facing this crisis -- I pray that you will do the right thing for the baby.

Second, isn't honesty the best policy? He obviously loved you enough to sleep with you, so shouldn't he now love you enough to stand up to Mommy and tell her the truth? If he lacks the strength to face the truth now, will he ever change?

Finally, since you're both Catholic, you need to talk to the Priest who you want to perform the wedding Mass. Some Priests will not do a wedding when the bride is pregnant. That may have some impact on your planning.

Take care and God Bless!

Answer 11

Get married now! You put the cart before the horse and have to deal with the consequences. You are obviously both not "very" Catholic - so why should you worry so much! Of course, everyone will know why the wedding was moved up - but are you embarassed by your choices? You made them! Time to give up your "dream" wedding, and have a small, private family affair - and get on with your life.